Fate/Stay Night: Shirou Harem Diaries Part Five

Entry 17
Yet again, I must admit that failure has befallen my carefully laid harem plans. Perhaps I was too ambitious, but when Ilya mentioned that the Servant Caster was the witch at Ryuudoji shrine, I felt that I absolutely must have her as part of the harem. Unfortunately, not only were Assassin and Kuzuki standing in our way, but Caster herself has taken control of Sakura! I realise that perhaps I haven’t devoted as much time to Sakura as I should have, but she is an essential part of the harem, and I must have her back.

Entry 18
On second thought, Caster’s actions were not wholly deplorable; on arriving at Ryuudoji, we discovered that Sakura had been transformed into a bondage queen, a perfect replacement for Rider. Now all I need to do is finish off Kuzuki and Assassin, and Caster can be mine.

Entry 19
I had hoped not to have to write this entry, but the worst has happened- although Sakura is back with us and in recovery, Caster was lost in the ensuing battle. It also seems that we have a new force to worry about; Gilgamesh, the surviving Servant from the last war, is determined to have Saber for his own! I will fight to the death (hopefully without the whole actually dying part) in order to maintain my harem.

Entry 20
I have come to realise that Saber should be the first wife in my harem, and thankfully Rin completely agrees- she even intimated that she would enjoy a threesome with us. Unfortunately, Ilya was unwilling to accept her place as a lower ranking member, but I let Rin deal with her whilst Saber and I enjoyed our first proper date.

Unfortunately, the date ended badly- Saber still insists that fighting is proper, and fails to realise that her role should be to see to my every need. There is also the matter of the Holy Grail; having invested so much time in her, I must ensure that Saber uses it to remain in this world.

However that may turn out, we still have one more plot device to overcome before our adventure concludes- Gilgamesh. Despite our differences of opinion, neither Saber nor I want him to come between us- a man with such poor fashion sense cannot be allowed to claim victory in the harem war.