As I write this entry, I am bleeding to death at the end of Lancer’s spear, but aside from this minor setback, all is well. After a hard battle that dealt damage to me and my precious Saber, we were able to use another convenient plot device to defeat Gilgamesh. That’ll teach him to interfere with harem matters.
That being said, I wonder if I even need a harem anymore, for Saber has devoted herself to me body and soul; I am even teaching her how to cook in order to make her into a better wife. She has even expressed gratitude at the fact that I have entered her so many times, and of course, I hope I shall have the opportunity to do so again in the future.
Today I must offer up a prayer to the gods that watch over main characters, for I have been spared from death and am practically healed thanks to a most convenient plot device. Apparently, the sheath of Excalibur is within my body, imbuing me with marvellous powers of recuperation.
Lancer is also out of the way; not that he was much of a threat, but the fewer men that are after my harem, the better. Now all I must do is defeat the final boss, Gilgamesh, or rather, get the girls to defeat him for me.
Everything has gone wrong, horribly, horribly wrong. On arriving home, I was devastated to find that Kirei had damaged my beloved Rin and taken Ilya in a horrific attempt to sabotage my lead in the harem wars. Desperate for the companionship my lesser harem members could not long provide, I took Saber aside and let her enter me to retrieve the sheath.
With our bond strengthened, Saber and I resolved to put an end to the harem wars once and for all- she would remove the threat of Gilgamesh, whilst I rescued Ilya from Kirei. With the power of the plot on our side, I was sure we could easily snatch victory from their poorly dressed clutches, but unfortunately the path has been more troublesome than I envisioned, for Kirei has the power of unholy tentacles on his side. I only hope that I survive his ravages so that I may claim victory and conclude my diaries.
It is with news of a bittersweet nature that I pen my final entry; I have won the harem war, but as with all things, there was a price to pay. Through the contrivance of several plot devices (many of them created simply for this episode), I managed to escape Kirei’s tentacle rape prison and defeat him, whilst Saber was likewise able to finally put an end to Gilgamesh. In order to ensure that no other man could better my harem success in future wars, we agreed to destroy the Holy Grail; unfortunately, this meant that Saber had to return to her own time, depriving me of my first wife.
Nonetheless, I must look on the bright side of things; I have ended up with a stable harem of Rin, Taiga, Sakura and Ilya, and while that is not as many women as I had hoped to acquire, it is twice as many as I had at the beginning of this. And now, I will sign off, for Ilya is growing up fast, and I must make the best of things before she gets too old to fulfil her role.