Utawarerumono parody episode 18

uta18.jpg
Hakuoro here. Now that I have established that Emperor Kuuya is indeed a woman, I must devote all my efforts to adding her to my harem. Nonetheless, I am well aware that my other women need attention, and have resolved to arrange for some quality time with all of them…
Suonkasu is in his castle, sampling his special flowers.

(Suonkasu: These flowers let me peer into other worlds and understand many things, but they can only come a poor second to the one I want.)

At Hakuoro’s castle, the playable characters are enjoying a meal when a generic soldier comes in. He hands a scroll to Benawi.

Hakuoro: What is it, Benawi? Have any new women been found?

Benawi: No sir, but it seems that a man named Derihourai is leading a rebellion in Na-tunk.

(Hakuoro: Men? What use have I for men? I am over that little HARD GAY hiccup now.)

That night, Karura comes to Hakuoro, wearing a formal dress.

(Hakuoro: What luck! Tonight will be exciting.)

Karura: Hakuoro-sama, I have a favour to ask. It involves Na-tunk.

(Hakuoro: Already she’s playing right into my hands.)

Hakuoro: I hope that you realise I cannot put my entire harem at risk just to satisfy one member.

Karura: Oh, it wouldn’t be for nothing. In turn, I will give you everything of myself- right down to my soul.

(Hakuoro: Just what I wanted to hear.)

Hakuoro: Very well, then, I accept your terms.

Karura: Then let’s complete the contract.

Karura undresses and pushes Hakuoro onto the floor, but before things can proceed, Eruruu walks in, sees them, and backs out again.

(Hakuoro: Damn! I’m sure this was an ero-scene in the game, but now the mood is gone- and I’ve lost serious relationship points with Eruruu.)

The next day, Eruruu makes a point of ignoring Hakuoro.

(Eruruu: This will teach him to take me for granted.)

(Hakuoro: What am I going to do now? I don’t know how to make tea!)

Hakuoro confides in Urotorii.

Hakuoro: I really don’t know what I’ve done. I mean, she knows I have other women in the harem…

Kurou enters and reports that the situation in Na-tunk is not going well. Karura overhears the report.

Hakuoro: Karura, I hope you understand, but thanks to the Eruruu situation, I have bigger things to think of.

That night, Karura wraps Hakuoro up in his sleeping roll and abducts him. As they prepare to leave for Na-tunk, they are confronted by Urotorii.

Urotorii: In the name of the HARD YURI sisterhood, I should go with you.

In short order, all the female cast members are gathered for the trip to Na-tunk.

(Hakuoro: I shall pretend to be unhappy about this, but in reality a vacation with the harem is just what I wanted. I’m sure Benawi can handle everything here.)

(Eruruu: I still haven’t forgiven either Hakuoro or Karura, but I cannot let them go off without me.)

The next day, Munto and Oboro are horrified to find their charges gone. They comically run up and down the corridor.

Munto: HIME-SAMA!!!!!!

(Munto: At last, I get a line of dialogue!)

Oboro: YUZUHA!!!!

They try to talk to Benawi about their problems, but he isn’t listening.

(Benawi: Great, just great- I’m in charge again. When do I get a day off?)

(Kurou: Looks like he’ll be too tense for any HARD GAY tonight.)

Meanwhile, a Woptar-drawn carriage takes Hakuoro’s party to Na-tunk. Urotorii decides to mediate between Karura and Eruruu.

Urotorii: I want both of you to remember that Hakuoro is not everything. We have our loyalty to the HARD YURI sisterhood to consider as well.

Eruruu goes to talk to Hakuoro.

(Eruruu: I was wrong to let my feelings almost sabotage my place in the harem and my relationship with my HARD YURI mentors.)

(Hakuoro: I knew that Eruruu could not stay away from me for long.)

As they proceed, the group realises that they have been surrounded. The carriage stops and the two strongest attackers, Karura and Touka, take the forward position. Derihourai, Katomau, and generic come forward.

Derihourai: I am Derihourai, leader of the Karurauatsuurei.

(Hakuoro: He looks like Karura, and he mentioned the name Karurauatsuurei… I wonder if there is a connection.)

Hakuoro: Despite our detailed character designs, we are just a band of random travellers passing through who would like to help you.

Derihourai: Since I am the proud and stubborn type, I have no intention of accepting your help.

That night, everyone camps by the side of a cliff. Karura climbs the cliff to have some time to herself, but Hakuoro follows.

Hakuoro: By piecing together the subtle clues, I have realised that Derihourai is your little brother. I guess that means we’ll be staying to help him.

Katomau approaches.

Katomau: Karurauatsuurei, I knew it was you!

Karura: I gave up that name long ago and choose the untraceable alias Karura. Please don’t tell my brother who I am.

As Katomau nods, Hakuoro notices a blaze in the distance. One of Derihourai’s men, Tamua, has sold him out, and now he is in trouble.

Derihourai: I hope someone comes to rescue me soon! My stats aren’t high, and I only have generics to protect me!

As if on cue, Urotorii, Touka and Karura arrive and use their special attacks to disperse the enemy. Hakuoro shows up once the area is safe.

Having been double-crossed by the enemy, an injured Tamua is left behind to die.

Derihourai: A proud man like me could never care that such a traitor had died!

Karura ‘accidentally’ punches Derihourai.

Karura: Stop acting so high and mighty. You are an average character at best.

Derihourai: I have no idea who you are, but how dare you insult me?

(Karura: I suppose I might as well use my previously unseen wind attack).

Karura uses a wind punch to knock Derihourai flying.

Karura: You see how low your stats are compared to mine? You won’t get anywhere without our help.

(Hakuoro: This man is too much of a jerk to be any threat to me. I may as well play along with what Karura wants, and score some valuable relationship points.)

Meanwhile, in his castle, Suonkasu is high on flowers again.

Suonkasu: Karura, you have returned to me- now I can start work on my own harem!

Is Hakuoro in danger of losing Karura to either Suonkasu or Derihourai? Can our hero hold onto his harem in this strange land? Find out next time.