Utawarerumono parody episode 19

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Hakuoro here. Although I pretended to be against the idea, I allowed matters to proceed in such a way that I ended up in Na-tunk on a well-deserved vacation with my harem. Unfortunately, we have had to ally ourselves with a group of freedom fighters led by Karura’s brother, but provided I keep myself well behind the front lines, there shouldn’t be any danger…

Derihourai’s forces attack some Na-tunk generics. The named characters help by demonstrating their respective combo attacks. As the enemy are driven back, Derihourai wants to chase after them, but Karura stops him.

Karura: Look, Derihourai, when are you going to accept that your stats are too low for foolish charges into the enemy ranks?

Hakuoro: I agree- if we chase after them, I could, er, I mean you could end up in danger.

That night, the named characters gather together to discuss their strategies.

Derihourai: I don’t see why we can’t just keep throwing generics at their generics.

Karura: I think you’re forgetting something. This arc needs to end promptly, and that means we named characters will have to act. In fact, I know of a convenient back route we can take to get straight to the boss castle.

Derihourai: How could a complete outsider like you know about that?

Karura: Oh, you know how it is, you pick up information here and there.

(Karura: This is easier than I thought- Deri has no idea that it’s me!)

Karura: I should also mention that we can only take a small party along- so we’ll just take a handful of generic cannon fodder with the named members.

Derihourai: It looks like a long shot, but that’s just the way I like it.

Katomau: Sire, as a named character, you should be more careful. Let our generic forces distract the bulk of the enemy for you.

(Hakuoro: What well trained generics- they even volunteer to sacrifice their lives.)

Later that evening, Derihourai and Hakuoro talk privately.

Derihourai: Hakuoro, I have a favour to ask of you. I’d like you to hand over Karura so that I can use her to start my own harem.

(Hakuoro: How presumptuous! Does he really think I’d put such work into building a relationship with Karura, and then hand her over to another man?)

Hakuoro: Derihourai, it isn’t good manners to demand that another man give up part of his harem. You must win over the woman with finesse.

(Hakuoro: I think it’s safe to say that he presents no threat to me.)

Derihourai: I understand, but Karura is important to me. Although she cannot possibly be the same person, she reminds me of my big sister, Karurauatsuurei. I swore I would not start a harem until I could find a woman that would satisfy me as much as my big sister did.

Later still, Hakuoro goes to see Karura.

(Hakuoro: Time to try my hand at some reverse psychology.)

Hakuoro: Karura, are you sure you would be happy to stay with my harem?

Karura: Master, I have everything I need with you.

(Karura:…not to mention HARD YURI with Urotorii and the others.)

As planned, Derihourai’s generics move out to distract Suonkasu’s army whilst the named characters sneak into the castle.

Katoumau: Everyone, I know your stats are lower than those of the average enemy generic, but we must hold out for as long as possible.

Suonkasu soldier: Get them! Make sure as few people as possible are left behind to guard the castle!

The generics slash at each other whilst Hakuoro’s party makes it to Suonkasu’s throne room. They stop at the sight of Suon’s special flowers, grown from dead bodies.

Karura: They say growing flowers like this gives them special properties.

Suonkasu sits lazily in his chair. Some generics run out to guard him.

Suonkasu: What do you think, Karura? With these flowers, I can enter a whole new state of perception.

Derihourai: Do you know this man?

Karura: Hmm, possibly.

Hakuoro: Derihourai, don’t strain your mental faculties! Just concentrate on the battle!

Derihourai: Good point, Hakuoro!

Derihourai rushes forward to attack Suonkasu, but the generics engage him. More generics appear out of nowhere to attack Hakuoro and the others. Suonkasu remains seated.

Suonkasu: In the game, I actually got up and attacked, but the anime has made my arc so short that I can’t even be bothered.

Hakuoro and the named characters attack the generics.

(Hakuoro: This Suonkasu, he seems to know Karura. What if he too is hoping to steal her for his harem?)

Karura: Telepathy mode on! Target Suonkasu.

(Karura: Sorry, Suonkasu, but since I cut off your ‘sword’, you aren’t of much use to me.)

(Suonkasu: I’m offering you special flowers and my undivided attention! What more could you want?)

Derihourai: What are you saying? I can’t understand telepathy mode!

Suonkasu: Oh do shut up, Deri. You were only a pawn to lure Karurautsuurei back to me.

Derihourai: Karurauatsuurei? Are you saying that Karura is actually my sister!?

Suonkasu: Karura, I am the best choice for you! Let us begin a new life sniffing the special flowers and adding bodies to the garden!

(Hakuoro: This is bad- what if he convinces her to stay with him? I’d better start fighting on the front lines for once.)

(Derihourai: I won’t let anyone else have Karura!)

(Urotorii: I must fight for the sake of my HARD GAY partner.)

Everyone attacks the generics with renewed vigour. Derihourai and Karura break through to Suonkasu.

Karura: Derihourai, I’ll let you have the killing blow- you need the EXP more than I do.

Karura knocks Suonkasu down, and Derihourai finishes him off.

Suonkasu: Why am I dying so easily…at the hands of this weakling?

Suonkasu’s corpse falls into his beloved flowers.

Derihourai: I think I’ve just figured it out- you’re my big sister, right?

Karura: I’m sorry, but I think you’ve confused me for some other Karura. Now run along boy, and go play with your generics.

Derihourai: Okay- but you’ll be waiting for me when I get back, right?

Karura: Oh, of course.

Derihourai runs off.

(Karura: Still so gullible. How can I be related to an idiot like him?)

Karura: Okay everyone, let’s go.

Eruruu: Wait, but I thought you promised…

(Eruruu: I thought for a moment there I’d finally got rid of a rival.)

Urotorii: Eruruu, if Karura doesn’t come back with us, we can’t enjoy the full potential of HARD YURI.

(Hakuoro: My fears turned out to be unfounded after all.)

Whilst Derihourai proclaims that Na-tunk is to replaced with his nation of Karurauatsuurei, Hakuoro and the others slip away and return home.

Some time later, Derihourai brings a delegation to visit Tusukuru.

(Derihourai: I must let the Tusukuru emperor know that a new harem master is in town.)

Derihourai is surprised to find that Hakuoro is the emperor.

Derihourai: You were the main character all along? I hadn’t guessed.

Hakuoro: I don’t believe we’ve met before.

Derihourai: Oh, you’re right- my mistake.

(Hakuoro: He truly is no threat to me.)

Later, Karura watches as Derihourai’s delegation leaves. Hakuoro approaches.

(Hakuoro: A little more reverse psychology could be needed here, just in case she has second thoughts.)

Hakuoro: You know, you can go with him if you want.

Karura: I don’t think there’s any need for that.

(Hakuoro: Excellent. It may have been a little risky, but I’ve pulled off a significant relationship boost with Karura.)

With his harem vacation over and Suonkasu defeated, what lies in wait for our hero? Find out next time.