Utawarerumono parody episode 23

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Hakuoro here. I have tried my hardest to create a harem that could satisfy my every desire, but it seems it has not been enough. Deep inside me lurks a monster of HARD GAY, and whenever the situation gets too intense, that monster emerges. With this in mind, I am not sure how to proceed, but all I can do is take each day as it comes, and hope for the best…

Hauenkua awakens from the recurring nightmare of his encounter with Hakuoro. He sees Dii by his bed, and goes to him for comfort.

Hauenkua: Dii, it was awful! You have to comfort me and make me forget about that terrible HARD GAY encounter.

Dii:…

(Dii: Hauenkua, as one who wants to become a woman, you are not suitable for my HARD GAY attentions.)

In the Kunnekamun throne room, Hien reports to Kuuya.

(Kuuya: Hakuoro, could it be that your harem is stronger than mine?)

Genjimaru: Sire, we must reconsider our actions, or we will all end up as splatters of blood.

Hien: On the contrary, sire, we must continue the unification.

(Kuuya: Stop giving me conflicting opinions! How am I supposed to choose?)

Kuuya: Okay, I’ve come to a decision. My objective has always been peace, and so I believe we should continue the war.

Later, Genjimaru goes to see Dii.

Genjimaru: Dii, what is it you want from us? Why have you promised to turn Hauenkua into a woman?

Dii: Genjimaru, have you forgotten the fun we had in the old days? Of course, you were stronger and had more stamina then.

Genjimaru: You…so it was you I met at that HARD GAY tavern.

Dii: My goal is to create a world where we no longer have to be HARD GAY in secret, Genjimaru. Perhaps you should consider joining me.

Meanwhile, Eruruu once again remembers her contract with monster Hakuoro.

(Eruruu: All this time, HARD YURI was really what I wanted.)

Aruruu comforts her.

Meanwhile, Hakuoro and the other named characters are having a meeting.

Hakuoro: The situation isn’t good. Half of our generics are dead, and half the survivors incapacitated.

Oboro: Who cares about generics? We named characters can still fight.

As the meeting continues, Hakuoro is briefly caught up in a vision of his monster-self.

(Hakuoro: My HARD GAY side…)

Later, Hakuoro is with Eruruu. She makes him tea.

(Hakuoro: Did you see it- my shameful HARD GAY side?)

As Eruruu leaves, Hakuoro tries to go after her, but is transported into Flashback Mode. He sees the masked Iceman and an early furry, 3510.

Iceman: Could you get me a drink, please?

(Hakuoro: It’s just like me and Eruruu!)

A hologram of a scientist, Mizushima, appears.

Mizushima: Iceman, since I am not allowed to directly assist in the creation of the furry world, I must leave it to you. Start by giving this furry a name.

The hologram fades.

Iceman: I shall name you Mikoto, after a different furry creature from another world.

Hakuoro awakens from Flashback Mode.

Elsewhere, Genjimaru and Sakuya run from two Avu Kamuu. After telling Sakuya to hide, Genjimaru turns back and fights them.

(Genjimaru: Somehow no one else has ever discovered this, but I know the weak points of an Avu Kamuu.)

Genjimaru defeats the Avu Kamuu, whilst Kurou watches from a safe distance.

(Kurou: What a useful playable character and strong HARD GAY partner he would make. I must bring him back to the castle.)

Genjimaru and Sakuya are taken back to Hakuoro’s castle.

Genjimaru: Hakuoro-ou, I have come to add my services to the active party.

Hakuoro: I will accept Sakuya into my harem, but Genjimaru- you have betrayed your place in Kuuya’s harem, and that is something I cannot condone.

Genjimaru: But my stats are high- and my combo is maxed out!

Hakuoro: Oh, very well, then.

(Hakuoro: The old man will make a good front line attacker, reducing the danger to myself and my harem.)

That evening, Eruruu tends to Hakuoro’s wounds. He thinks back to all the times she has been with him.

(Hakuoro: Could it be that Eruruu has some importance to me beyond being just a tea girl?)

Hakuoro: Eruruu, will you stay by my side forever?

(Eruruu: Thanks to the contract, I cannot disagree, and yet HARD YURI is what I long for now.)

Eruruu: …Yes.

The next day, the named characters plan their strategy.

Benawi: There is only way we can hope for victory against Kunnekamun. I’m not entirely sure how this will help, but we must free Lord Waabe from his imprisonment.

Urotorii: You see, Kamyu, I told you our father would be alive.

Hakuoro: Right, Benawi, I’ll leave that to you whilst I stay here.

Whilst Benawi’s party departs, the weaker characters stay behind. Eruruu goes to visit Yuzuha.

Yuzuha: Eruruu, you seem troubled lately. If it’s about Hakuoro-sama, then I honestly don’t mind sharing him with you.

(Eruruu: Stop acting like first wife! I don’t want to be bound to Hakuoro anyway- I want HARD YURI.)

Eruruu goes back to her room. As she cries to herself, Urotorii enters.

Urotorii: Eruruu, I know that you’re worried about being bound to Hakuoro-san, so I must tell you this. No matter what you promised to him, it does not matter- HARD YURI can transcend that.

Eruruu cheers up at these words.

Later, Eruruu goes to see Hakuoro.

(Eruruu: It’s odd- now that I know that HARD YURI will always be there for me, I can once again feel comfortable with Hakuoro.)

Some time later, Benawi’s party returns with Waabe (rescued offscreen due to time constraints).

Waabe: I understand that you rescued me so that you could use my political clout to aid in the war against Kunnekamun, but actually I’ve decided to hand over leadership to Urotorii.

(Hakuoro: So that mission was pointless, then. It’s lucky we didn’t waste any actual screen time on it.)

(Urotorii: Excellent. This is one more step towards spreading the word about HARD YURI to a wider audience.)

Have our heroes magically gained the wherewithal to fight back against Kunnekamun? Will the Avu Kamuu now magically be vulnerable? Find out next time.