Utawarerumono parody episode 26 [end]

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Hakuoro here. I am sorry to report that HARD GAY has taken over my body completely, and even now I grapple with my destined partner, Dii. The only hope of regaining the harem lies in defeating him and destroying the last of the HARD GAY temptations, but am I already too far gone to manage that?

The playable characters watch the fight between Monster Hakuoro and Monster Dii.

Oboro: Do you mean to say that even though he spent all that time building a harem, ani-ja was actually HARD GAY?

Benawi: I believe he genuinely did want to be a harem master, but in the end he was overcome by suppressed HARD GAY impulses.

Monster-Dii: Isn’t this just the best, Hakuoro? The ultimate bestiality!

Monster-Hakuoro: Yes! YES!

Monster-Dii: Come on, Hakuoro, show me the true extent of your HARD GAY! This is the kind of relationship I wanted everyone to experience at least once.

(Mutsumi: Dii has found his HARD GAY, but what about my HARD YURI?)

The two monsters continue to grapple, until Flashback Mode activates and takes us back to the era of Mikoto and Iceman. The couple now have a child.

(Iceman: My plans for a furry world are progressing nicely.)

Iceman gives the baby the ring that will later be passed down to Eruruu.

Iceman: Take this- it will be important to the plot sometime in the future.

Unfortunately, the idyllic family life is interrupted by the arrival of Imperial Stormtroopers. Iceman and Mikoto are captured; Iceman awakens back in the lab, now in restraints. A scientis approaches.

Iceman: You bastard! You are jeopardising the future of the furry world!

Scientist: Hahaha, I am an evil scientist! Not only have I dissected your beloved Mikoto, but I have created a replica of your mask so that I too can become attractive to furries!

Iceman: I will make it so that you will never be attractive to anyone again! Instead, you will be trapped in the bodies of low-level RPG monsters!

Iceman transforms into a shadowy, monstrous form and transforms all the scientists in the lab into slimes.

(Iceman: What’s happening? I am awash with conflicting feelings! HARD GAY, harem, which should I choose?)

For some reason, a satellite fires a giant HARD GAY laser down at the earth. Monster-Iceman splits into two halves, which Mutsumi is conveniently on hand to seal away.

(Mutsumi: If I seal away the forces of HARD GAY and harem, perhaps a world of HARD YURI can truly come to pass.)

Back in the present…

Monster Hakuoro: All this time, I was meant to be fighting for harem, but you tried to convert me to the side of HARD GAY!

Monster Dii: Harem is wrong! HARD GAY is the best future for the planet!

Monster Hakuoro: If that is so, then you will have no objections to fusing with me, for I suddenly know how to do that!

Monster Hakuoro absorbs Monster Dii.

Eruruu: Hakuoro-san…

Monster Hakuoro: I am sorry, Eruruu. I tried to become a harem master, but instead I am stuck in this HARD GAY form.

Eruruu: Hakuoro-san, I don’t care! I realised that you were HARD GAY a long time ago, but I still want to make you tea!

Monster Hakuoro: Urotorii, my series is almost over. Please seal me away now.

(Urotorii: Should I do it? It will enable me to claim the harem as my own full-time HARD YURI partners, but then again, it might upset dear Eru.)

Mutsumi: Let’s do it. I will help you.

(Mutsumi: I wasn’t able to start a HARD YURI world when I sealed him away before, but this time will be different.)

Mutsumi: As a token of my good faith and hope for the future of HARD YURI, I will give Kamyu back to you.

Mutsumi leaves Kamyu’s body.

Monster Hakuoro: Urotorii, hurry up! I can’t contain the HARD GAY for much longer!

Urotorii and Kamyu begin the chant of sealing and rune-inscribed pillars rise up out of the earth. As Monster Hakuoro sinks into the earth, Monster Dii’s shade struggles against the confinement.

Oboro: Everyone, standard attack animations!

Oboro, Benawi, Kurou, Dorii, Guraa, Karura and Touka all stab their weapons into Monster Hakuoro.

Monster Hakuoro: Both men and women at once- this must be how it feels to be BI! Now I can depart in peace.

Monster Hakuoro dissolves into a blinding flash of light. Everyone is briefly transported to a featureless world, where the spirit of Hakuoro speaks to them.

Hakuoro: Well everyone, it looks like this is the end, and that means it’s time for my heartfelt farewell scene. Since I’m so incredibly skilled in the bedroom, I know you’re all sad to see me go, but I’m afraid you’ll have to find new partners now.

Oboro: Ani-ja, I wanted to be HARD GAY with you just once.

Dorii/Guraa: So did we!

Hakuoro: I’m sorry, but I don’t have time for that now. Oboro, you must take my place as the puppet emperor, whilst Benawi rules from the shadows.

Eruruu: Hakuoro-san, before you go…was I first wife in your harem?

Hakuoro: Well, since I didn’t get Yuzuha pregnant in this version, I guess you were.

Hakuoro kisses Eruruu and departs. Flash forward to the obligatory ‘what they all did next’ scenes.

Oboro prays at Yuzuha’s grave.

Oboro: Damn, I finally got Hakuoro out of the way, and you had to go and die. I guess it’s HARD GAY all the way for me now.

Benawi and Kurou approach.

Benawi: So, you’re leaving?

Oboro: Yep- everyone knows you’re the better emperor, so you might as well be the real king instead of just the shadow one.

Dorii and Guraa run up to Oboro.

Dorii/Guraa: Young Master, your our favourite HARD GAY partner! Don’t leave us now.

Oboro: Oh well, I guess I’d better take some companionship along to warm my bed at night.

Oboro, Dorii and Guraa leave.

(Kurou: At long last Benawi is all mine again!)

Elsewhere, Karura and Touka run away from generics for some unspecified reason.

Touka: I never thought HARD YURI would be this much fun!

Karura: You bet it is. I wish my past with Urotorii had been explained, but I guess there’s no time for that now.

Munto runs up to tell Urotorii that Kamyu is missing again.

Urotorii: It’s okay, she’ll be back for HARD YURI later.

Sakuya and Kuuya sit together in a field of flowers. Kuuya still has the mind of a child.

(Sakuya: Why do I have to look after the infant?)

Aruruu and Kamyu share a honeycomb whilst resting against Mukkuru.

Aruruu: This is fun.

In a village somewhere, Eruruu works as a physician. As she walks along a path, she sense something behind her, turns around and smiles. What did she see? That will have to wait for the nonexistent sequel.

THE END.

One thought on “Utawarerumono parody episode 26 [end]

  1. It was pretty funny in the beginning, but then later the same parodies of names seemed too overused, and the funniness subsided.

    You should add more special names like the low level RPG monsters in the later parts.

    It was a good parody. Thanks for writing it.

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