Ikutidal visits Akram.
Ikutidal: Reporting as requested, sir.
Akram: I may have requested that you report in five minutes ago, but now I insist that you do not return until the heroes are defeated. You must carry out my will, whilst I sit here and ineffectually curse Kyou.
Ikutidal: Whatever you say, sir. I’ll go and arrange a monster of the week.
Akane is out with Eisen.
Akane: Fuji-hime has consulted the plot, and apparently we should go to the creatively name north peak if we want to find the North Yu-Gi-Oh card.
Eisen and Akane fan each other.
Akane: This fan smells nice.
Eisen: Yes, it contains a special ‘incense’ that I use to get nice and mellow.
Yasuaki consults a nearby tree for information.
Yasuaki: Ah, that was a refreshing chat. The trees are more interesting than some of the characters in this series.
Yasuaki, Eisen and Akane continue on their way.
Yasuaki: Miko, just how exactly did Tenma and Yorihisa demonstrate their HARD GAY bond and get the Yu-Gi-Oh card?
Akane: To be honest, I don’t really understand this whole HARD GAY thing myself. All I know is that your hearts have to become one.
Eisen: Maybe we should go back to Fuji-hime. They do say that if you talk to an NPC enough times, they might offer you some new information.
At the manor, Yorihisa and Tenma spar with ‘wooden swords’.
Tenma: I want you to come at me for real this time!
Yorihisa: Are you sure you are ready for that? You might get hurt.
Tenma: If I can’t take the force of a HARD GAY attack from my destined partner, how I am supposed to endure that of a demon?
Whilst Tenma and Yorihisa continue their practice, Akane, Eisen and Yasuaki have returned home.
Akane: Apparently we have to wait for the game clock to move on a bit before Fuji-hime can tell us anything new.
Shimon and Tomomasa arrive, bringing some bowls of ice.
Tomomasa: Since the emperor has nothing better to do, he personally asked that we bring you this ice.
Tenma and Yorihisa come inside.
Akane: Tenma, you look a little bruised. Is HARD GAY practise really that strenuous?
Yorihisa: Considering that he started ‘sparring’ at such a late age, he really I making incredible progress.
Tenma: I’ll be a match for you some day, Yorihisa!
Shimon excuses himself.
Shimon: Sorry, but I have to go. Inori is a very demanding partner.
Tomomasa: At least you have your partner. Takamichi has gone away one business, leaving me along again.
Takamichi is seen talking to generics again. He sees a vision of Shirin in the sky.
(Takamichi: These unfamiliar feelings for women- what are they?)
Inori and Shimon continue their search.
Shimon: Even though we’ve randomly wandered around for days, we still haven’t found our Yu-Gi-Oh card.
Inori: Maybe we need Akane with us- she could be a catalyst for HARD GAY.
Inori notices that Ikutidal is watching them. Inori runs over to him.
Ikutidal: Inori, even though I am a demon serving the side of evil, I have important information for the Ryuujin no Miko. Perhaps you could pass it on.
Inori: Like hell I will! Didn’t you notice that I hate demons?
Ikutidal: I’ll let you think about it whilst I teleport away somewhere.
Ikutidal teleports away.
Shimon: We should tell Akane about this.
Inori: After the Sefuru incident, I hardly think that we can trust your judgement. I mean, it’s clearly going to be an ironic case of Ikutidal’s information being important, but let’s not tell anyone about this.
Meanwhile, a generic man comes to see Eisen.
Generic: Eisen, I hear that you dress as a woman for the right price. There’s a certain man who would like to employ your services.
Yasuaki: Get away from him, he’s mine.
Yasuaki wanders away.
Man: Okay, let’s go.
Eisen goes to see two generics- the previously unmentioned Minister of the Right and his underling.
Old Generic: Eisen, you seem to have grown into a fine man. Some say you have been taking lessons from Tomomasa himself, so I look forward to our night together.
Eisen: I’m sorry, but I can’t be HARD GAY with just anyone these days. I’m trying to settle down with my partner.
Generic: According to rumours, you have been seen with a young woman of later. Perhaps you are losing your taste for men.
The generics laugh and bid Eisen farewell. Eisen goes to his lake and angsts whilst an insert song plays and some budget-saving flashbacks are seen. Eventually, Akane arrives.
Akane: Eisen, this angst is all very well, but we really need to get on with the plot.
Eisen: But angst is what this series is all about!
Akane: Come to think of it, you have a point. Let’s angst together and waste precious story development time- it should disguise the fact that we don’t really have a story.
Whilst they angst, Tenma goes to visit Ran.
Ran: Tenma, you don’t have to visit me if you don’t want to- I know my place as an unimportant side character.
Tenma: But you are my precious sister…
(Tenma: Is she really that precious? Actually, she’s quite dull.)
Yasuaki: I think I should shake things up a bit by telling Ran the truth.
Tenma: You can’t do that! Do you want her causing trouble again?
Ikutidal materialises in a forest.
Ikutidal: I really don’t know what the point of this is, but I may as well put a curse on Kyou. It will make these trees glow in a dark and evil manner.
Eisen’s angst is interrupted.
Eisen: I sense evil close by.
Eisen and Akane run into the forest, which is now red and thus clearly evil. They meet Ikutidal.
Eisen: Look, I don’t want to fight, mainly because I’m too weak to have a chance of winning.
Ikutidal: I agree.
Yasuaki suddenly appears from nowhere and starts fighting Ikutidal.
(Ikutidal: This man- his HARD GAY is well developed for a mere human.)
Yasuaki: Stock animation attack!
Ikutidal: That won’t work on me, for I have randomly placed a curse on Kyou! We could have done this in the first placed instead of using weak monsters of the week, but then the series would have been too short.
Yasuaki: I won’t let you get away this.
Ikutidal: In that case, let me introduce you to my ‘blade’.
Yorihisa randomly appears.
Yorihisa: If it’s a duel of ‘blades’ you want, then let me demonstrate my expertise!
Eisen: Miko, our stats are too low- let’s run away.
Eisen and Akane run away, and conveniently encounter the white flame that is the source of the curse.
Akane: Oh look, the source of the curse is conveniently exposed. I must use my special plot powers to purify it.
Unfortunately, Akane’s powers do not work. Eisen rushes in.
Eisen: Random and Inexplicable Powers! Purify this taint!
Eisen is somehow able to summon a water attack that removes the curse. The forest swiftly returns to normal.
Yasuaki: Even someone as weak as Eisen can defeat you, demon.
Ikutidal: Gwakaka, you may have defeated me this week, but I will just create more weak and ineffectual curses for you to destroy! Now, marvel once more at my teleportation powers!
Ikutidal teleports away.
Akane, Eisen and Yasuaki go to stand by the lake. The generic underling from earlier arrives.
Generic: Eisen-sama, I have been randomly looking for you all episode! Are these your partners?
Eisen: Yes, they are.
Yasuaki: I already told you, he is mine.
The generic runs off, and Deep Purple descends from heaven.
Deep Purple: Genbu Hachiyou, if you can find out what it truly means to have a HARD GAY heart and soul, then I will be able to reveal your Yu-Gi-Oh card.
Deep Purple vanishes.
(Eisen: Once we find our HARD GAY connection, the Yu-Gi-Oh card will be ours! Oh wait, we already knew that.)
To be continued…