Yasuaki wastes a couple of minutes angsting over budget-saving stills and flashbacks.
(Yasuaki: It’s episode 23, and we still don’t have much of a plot!)
Takamichi arrives at the latest Hachiyou meeting.
Akane: Takamichi, have you been getting enough sleep lately?
Takamichi: Tomomasa’s been keeping me up all night, but I’m fine.
Tenma: Where’s Yasuaki? Why isn’t he here?
Akane: I’m sure he has his reasons…
Tenma: Shut up, woman! It’s all his fault that I lost Ran again.
Tomomasa: We really don’t have the time to worry about your little sister, Tenma- she’s too generic to be important.
Takamichi: But she does control the Black Dragon, so she must have some importance to the plot.
Inori: Who cares about the plot? Siscon is one of the purest and most honourable feelings in the world, so of course we should help Tenma!
Yorihisa: Whatever our motives, we’re going to end confronting Akram anyway- he is the final boss, after all.
Akane: That’s right- the plot is pretty much laid out in front of us. All we need to do is find the last Yu-Gi-Oh card, recover the other three, and free the Four Gods.
Shimon: I hate to ruin the story, but should we really bother to get the last Yu-Gi-Oh card? If we don’t have it, Akram can’t take it from us.
Eisen: That might work for you, but finding the symbol of my HARD GAY connection with Yasuaki is very important to me. Besides, if we do things your way, there won’t be enough material to fill the last few episodes.
Outside, Sefuru is sitting on a roof and angsting to himself.
(Sefuru: Everyone always abandons me; even the people who call themselves my friends get upset when I try to kill them.)
Sefuru spots Eisen.
(Sefuru: Hmm, a spot of evil should take my mind off my troubles.)
Back at the manor, the others continue to talk.
Fuji: Is it really okay for someone as useless as Eisen to go off by himself?
Tenma: Who cares about that? I’m going to go and solve everything with my patented method of randomly running around.
Tenma leaves. Shimon runs after him.
Tomomasa: Well, it’s about time for my HARD GAY appointment with the Emperor. Takamichi, if you don’t mind waiting in your room, I’ll be round to service you later.
Everyone goes off to attend to various unspecified tasks. Akane decides to visit Abe no Seimei.
Seimei: At long last I, the most important mystic of the age, can have five seconds of screen time, for I am too generic to deserve more.
Yasuaki wanders around randomly, indulging in more budget-saving flashbacks. He recalls an earlier meeting with Seimei.
Seimei: Yasuaki, if you want to be a real man, you must learn how to indulge in HARD GAY.
Back in the present, Eisen is randomly wandering around in the forest when Sefuru appears.
Sefuru: I can’t be bothered with a monster of the week today, so I’ll just kill you myself! Fire Ball!
Meanwhile, Akane finds Yasuaki.
Yasuaki: The time has come for me to reveal my semi-tragic secret. I never thought it worth mentioning before, but I am not actually human- I was created by Abe no Seimei. Can such a being ever understand HARD GAY?
Akane briefly indulges in yet another budget-saving flashback.
Akane: I’m not really smart enough to understand what you’re talking about, but I really don’t see any problem. You look human enough on the outside, so you must be equipped for HARD GAY.
Yasuaki starts crying.
Yasuaki: Yes, you’re right…I can be HARD GAY too!
Meanwhile, Sefuru continues to fire energy blasts at Eisen.
Sefuru: I hope you realise that it takes an especially skilled marksman to consistently miss his target- a truly incompetent one might accidentally hit a good guy. Now I will walk towards you slowly, allowing ample time for help to arrive.
Yasuaki senses that Eisen is in trouble.
Yasuaki: Warp Mode on! To Eisen!
Sefuru is still firing energy blasts.
Sefuru: Okay, I’ve had enough of missing the target- this one will definitely hit you!
Sefuru fires a large energy blast, but Yasuaki arrives just in time to block and deflect it.
Yasuaki: Your fireballs are as nothing against my beads!
Akane arrives, causing Deep Orange to appear.
Deep Orange: Genbu Hachiyou, what is it that you hold dearest in your heart?
Akane starts glowing with HARD GAY catalyst aura.
Eisen: Water Attack that I sometimes have!
Yasuaki: Stock Animation Attack!
Yasuaki/Eisen: Combine to form Water Wang!
A blast of water rushes towards Sefuru, who teleports away just in time. The final Yu-Gi-Oh card appears.
In Akram’s lair, Akram and Ran have been watching everything on magic CCTV.
Akram: Everything is in place, just as I planned, and even if it wasn’t, I would pretend that it was.
To be continued…