Chevalier Alternative 18 Part I

Due to the sheer volume of images used in this parody, I have had to split it into two parts. Part II will appear tomorrow.

Dashwood may have won the first round, but with the main characters now arrayed against him, can even the key item Book save him from the fate of a typical boss enemy? Meanwhile, will Sandwich ever be granted his desire for additional screen time- and is Durand having problems with his ‘sword’?


Commence Level 18: Bridge of generics.


Lia-d’Eon is still immobilised due to Robespierre’s death.


“This is my chance to be a hero instead of a useless sidekick!”


Teillagory practises his technique against some generics.


Unfortunately, no generic can withstand the force of his HARD GAY.


Durand decides to get in on the action.


“Something’s wrong…I’m not feeling aroused at all!”


“I won’t give up the position of main character so easily!”


Durand desperately tries to get his sword working again.


“Go forth, my generic underlings, and dispose of the main characters so that I can have more screen time!”


Sandwich grips his sword and imagines the HARD GAY he will receive as a main character.


Unfortunately, the generics have low stamina, which is easily depleted by Lia-d’eon’s Stamina Drain spell.


“Damn, I just wasted all my skill points summoning these useless generics.”


“Uh, this isn’t quite what I planned; can we start the battle again?”


Sandwich does not realise that his stamina bar has also run out until it is too late.


“Read it and weep- the name of this series is Le Chevalier d’Eon.”


Sandwich can do nothing as his Texhnolyzed limbs go haywire.


“Aagh! I’m dying, dying!”


“I’ll be back next week- mark my words!”


The battle is over, and victory music plays.


Durand is still struggling to reach a climax.


Nonetheless, he is ignored in the rush to reach Lia-d’Eon.


In her paranoia, Lia-d’Eon continues to cast Stamina Drain on anyone who could possibly steal the role of main character.


“Must…get…HARD…”


“Out of the way, let your elder go first!”


Teillagory decides to take advantage of the situation to test out his new BI inclinations.


“Red eye shadow wasn’t the right choice after all.”


Teillagory and Lia-d’Eon’s relationship is strengthened by their mutual BI.


“Don’t…forget…about…me…Teilla…”


“Lia-d’Eon is all I need.”


Durand is devastated by Teillagory’s rejection.


Durand begins thinking up ways to regain Teillagory’s heart.


“Farewell, Robespierre…the Dashwood Era begins here!”


(“I am not dead; I am merely sleeping off an excess of cherry pie.”)


Dashwood prepares to equip Book.


Casting Divine Comedy has taken twenty years off Dashwood’s life.


“Damn, I guess it’s time to order in some false teeth.”


Giuseppe is still somewhat shocked by the HARD GAY he has just witnessed.


He decides that women are the better choice after all.


Unfortunately, his pick up techniques could use a little refinement.


Back in France, Louis interviews prospective candidates for HARD GAY.

“What do you mean, we’re too generic for your tastes?”


“I’m sorry, but none of you have the ability to excite me.”


Saint-Germain entertains himself with some self pleasure…


…until a disgusted Pompadour tells him to take his hands off his ‘sword’.


“Broglie, is there any man in France who can match d’Eon?”


Anna begins plotting how to get more screen time.


“How would you like to star in a new show with me? We’ll call it Rose of Versailles.”


“Will it be historically accurate?”


“I don’t think we can manage that.”


Durand is still peeved at being left out of the last HARD GAY session.


Lia-d’Eon feels a little awkward at having stolen Teillagory away from Durand.


“Well, actually, the truth is…”


“…I, uh, can’t seem to get it up anymore.”


“But the problem will go away, right? You think so too, don’t you?”


Durand is hopeful that Lia-d’Eon will know of a way to restore the correct functioning of his sword.


“A man who cannot handle his sword is not worthy of my time.”


Teillagory boasts about his BI experience with Lia-d’Eon to Robin.


“And then, we did this…”


“You did?”


“And after we had done that, she suggested that we try it in another position!”


“You can do that sort of thing with a woman!?”


“You have much to learn, my boy.”


Lorenza accuses Giuseppe of still being in love with Robespierre.


“I guess I can never compete with a man as desirable as Robespierre.”


“Gather round, my hooded generics, and watch as I power up my stats with Book!”


“Now, what did he say again…was it ‘Power Up Book?’”


Despite their relationship issues, the team prepares to face the next level.