Pumpkin Scissors parody 4

Tank has always been the most difficult form of HARD GAY to attempt, but Section III has been tasked with the mission of uncovering its secrets. But will even Randel ‘Tank Master’ Oland and his unique HARD GAY techniques be enough to ensure that the unit can learn all about the workings of Tank?


The lab chief is caught reading adult magazines.


Randel dreams of HARD GAY.


Don’t you just hate it when you wake up with a cat on your face?


Oreld reveals he is slipping further into the world of BI.


Webner arrives to warn everyone of the dangers of Tank.


“This type of Tank has never been seen before, but it has great HARD GAY potential.”


“We need to learn where this Tank came from, so that we can master it for ourselves!”


“I’m sorry, but I have so many male lovers that it’s hard to keep track of them all.”


“In order to find out more about Tank, we should go to the man who first proved it could be used as a form of HARD GAY.”


“What is his level of HARD GAY?”


“Tank is the most dangerous and intense form of HARD GAY you can have.”


“Yet his Zhuge Liang was enough to take on a tank without any assistance!”


“I must know- what is his level of HARD GAY?”


In an attempt to find out, Machs decides to have HARD GAY with Randel himself, but unfortunately the session does not go well.


The team visits the father of Tank.


As to be expected from such an illustrious man of HARD GAY, he has all sorts of ‘weapons’.


He is understandably interested in learning more about the current state of Tank.


Unfortunately, the team has to admit they are only beginners at Tank.


“I can’t help you until I have more nude photographs, er, I mean, ‘essential data’.”


“All these guns- we can’t possibly leave until we’ve had some HARD GAY!”


Machs recognises Randel’s gun from his earlier HARD GAY.


“With this gun, a single man’s HARD GAY would be enhanced to the extent that he could safely have Tank by himself.”


(“One man having Tank- It sounds oddly familiar.”)


“It may sound foolish, but the technicians were determined to come up with a way to make it possible.”


“In the end, the gun they made was impressive, but it wasn’t something just anyone could use for Tank.”


“You might be able to have Tank with it, but you’d have to master the art of close range HARD GAY.”


“Anyway, do you know anyone who would willingly risk their life for HARD GAY with a tank? The risk just isn’t worth the reward.”


“Were you slipping in some quick HARD GAY with Dr. Colt? Shame on you for not including us.”


“I am an elderly scientist, and that means I must be secretly evil.”


Webner apologises for getting everyone to indulge in a quick BI session for her sake.


“We’re used to this sort of thing.”


“We must learn the secrets of Tank in order to advance to the next level.”


How indecent.


“Is this what you do- have your way with machinery?”


“Of course- don’t let anyone tell you that being with a machine is inferior to being with a human.”


“Hmm, do you take your lovers at all seriously?”


Jealousy abounds when the team learns that Section I will be getting some Car.


“What’s your problem- you got Train, didn’t you?”


“That wasn’t Train, it was Drill- do you have any idea how difficult it is to master Drill?”


Attackers arrive, intent on having some Tank.


“If they’re desperate enough to try Tank, we can’t satisfy them by ourselves!”


“Here they come!”


Machs finds that the situation is too intense for him.


Fortunately, Randel is on hand to take the Tank for him.


“Ah, that feels good! Regular HARD GAY can never compare to this!”


“Oops, I killed my partner again. I have to stop doing that.”


“Why did I have to get caught in the middle of this Tank session? I can’t handle either Randel or a tank.”


“…Randel’s Zhuge Liang! That thing’s massive!”


Once again, the intensity of Randel’s HARD GAY puts him in the hospital.


Captain Hunks admits that even he has been getting a lot of HARD GAY lately.


“How dare you say I have no love life?”


“And now you’re suggesting that I need you to sleep with me out of pity- even though I’ve told you I don’t want that!”


“Sorry, sir- but if you do ever need HARD GAY, be sure to let me know.”

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One Response to Pumpkin Scissors parody 4

  1. Karry says:

    I know that people who watch anime (myself included) have too much time on their hands, but this is off the charts.

    Oh, and this “parody” is not funny in the slightest.

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