Le Chevalier d’Eon parody episode 17

Dashwood talks to his underlings at Medmenham Abbey.

Dashwood: Gwakaka, soon Robespierre will be here, and then battle will commence!

Robespierre, Giuseppe and Lorenza ride to the abbey in a carriage.

Robespierre: Whilst we’re here, would you mind giving me some quick BI? Here, I’ll pay you in advance- I’ll just give you a blank cheque, and you can write in an amount equivalent to how good an experience you had with me.

d’Eon, Robin and Teillagory discuss the plot.

d’Eon: Thanks to my HARD YURI, er, I mean exposition exchange with Charlotte, I have learned that Saint-Germain is a boss enemy who we must face in the future.

Teillagory: Yes, there is a chance that many people in this series may be evil.

d’Eon: Well, we can’t worry about that just yet- we have the England arc to complete. First we should get Durand back in our party, and then we can complete Medmenham Abbey.

In prison, Durand is busy writing about his own HARD GAY techniques. He glances over at the lawyer who is with him.

Durand: It’s hard not fiddle with a working Liang, isn’t it? Yours looks quite polished, though- I take it you’ve had many lovers?

The lawyer says nothing.

Durand: Ah, you’re either very modest or just plain inexperienced. Here, take these notes- I’m sure you’ll find some useful tips.

Durand hands over the letter he was writing. The lawyer looks at it.

Lawyer: That’s…

Durand: Trust me, it may look unlikely, but it is possible.

d’Eon, Teillagory and Robin wait outside for Durand.

Teillagory: This is taking a while- do you think he’s having HARD GAY with another prisoner?

Queen Charlotte arrives.

d’Eon: Your Majesty, what are you doing here?

Charlotte: Why, I’m here for you, darling. That HARD YURI you gave me last night was great, and I couldn’t help wanting some more. Just don’t tell George about this, okay?

Teillagory: You should observe as much of d’Eon as you can- his Zhuge Liang is particularly impressive.

Charlotte: Speaking of which…d’Eon, I know you must be worried that your Liang will disappear as Lia takes over, but there is no need to be concerned, for it will always remain. Instead, you will become eternally BI, and enjoy Hyper Self Pleasure at levels others can only imagine.

As Robin and Teillagory exchange looks of mutual jealousy, Durand arrives, having just had quick HARD GAY with his lawyer.

Durand: Your Majesty, thank you for helping the plot along by setting me free.

Charlotte: It was nothing…but to see a knight who has lost the arm that holds his ‘sword’- that is most tragic to behold.

Durand: Not to worry- I’m still the strongest in bed.

d’Eon: That’s a relief. It just isn’t the same with Robin and Teillagory.

The reunited Musketeers take a carriage to the abbey.

Durand: According to my deductions, Robespierre split up with Lia after he became enamoured with HARD GAY.

Teillagory: Are you sure he’s really HARD GAY?

Durand: Trust me, he is.

Teillagory: I would imagine that actually scoring with him is quite difficult.

Durand: It depends…er, I mean, I guess so. In that case, we should rest up soon, and no one should attempt anything strenuous like HORSE.

d’Eon: Will you be up for this?

Durand: I know our last HARD GAY wasn’t the greatest, but like I said, I was drunk then. I’m feeling much more capable now.

Meanwhile, Robespierre, Giuseppe and Lorenza confront Dashwood.

Dashwood: Whitehead was my favourite lover- why did you kill him?

Robespierre: His HARD GAY was weak; so weak that he couldn’t withstand the force of my Pleasure- and now, the time has come for you to acknowledge me as your superior in the bedroom.

Dashwood: Poor, poor Robespierre…how can you say you are better than me when I can induce group Pleasure with my Cane?

Dashwood uses his Cane to have group Pleasure with his underlings. Giuseppe is caught up in the Pleasure.

Lorenza: Resist it, Giuseppe- it is not as good as BI with me.

Robespierre: Really, Dashwood, you disappoint me. Only the weakest of men would be aroused by your feeble efforts- why, even this BOOK that I carry is more HARD GAY than you! I cannot deny that you taught me the basics of HARD GAY, but now your time is over, for your archaic ways say that one man must dominate another, instead of both contributing equally to the partnership.

Dashwood: One dominant and one submissive is how it has always been in the bedroom- that is just the way of the world.

Robespierre: Not anymore- thanks to me, both your beliefs and your very Liang will become powerless.

Dashwood: Damn you! Taste the power of my ultimate Cane!

Dashwood increases the force of his Cane. Robespierre stands firm as he sees a vision of Lia in the middle of a world of giant wangs and RAGING HARD-ON.

Lia: Oh my god! This is so HARD GAY!

Lia screams and collapses. The intensity of the HARD GAY is also beginning to get to Robespierre, who begins to weaken.

Lorenza: This is awful- no one could withstand such intense HARD GAY.

Meanwhile, the Musketeers ride their carriage through the empty streets.

Robin: This is odd- why are there no generics here?

Durand: Perhaps they’re all having intense HARD GAY behind closed doors.

They get out of their carriage, only to see the generics- now turned into Gargoyles- emerge from their homes.

Teillagory: Hey, this looks just like that zombie level on Utawarerumono.

d’Eon: In that case, we should try to gain some quick EXP.

Back at the abbey, and Robespierre is not holding up well against Dashwood’s HARD GAY.

Dashwood: Turn my life force into Pleasure! Though I may age and die, I will overload this man with HARD GAY!

Lorenza: I counter with the force of HARD YURI!

Dashwood: You fool! HARD YURI is nothing compared to HARD GAY!

Lorenza is defeated. Elsewhere, d’Eon’s party runs away to a bridge, where they end up surrounded.

Durand: I’m not usually a fan of bridge levels, but these should be easy opponents.

d’Eon: Lia Mode!

Meanwhile, Robespierre gathers the strength to advance on Dashwood.

Dashwood: You know, I had intended to show you my most intimate HARD GAY secrets.

Robespierre: Pitiful fool. You are just like Louis XVI- a small man who thinks his Liang is Zhuge.

Dashwood: How dare you? Window of Pleasure!

The window behind Dashwood begins glowing with a HARD GAY aura.

Back at the bridge, and Lia takes on a hooded Sandwich and his men.

Lia: Out of my way, one hit kill generics!

Sandwich: I am no generic! Feel my blade!

At the abbey, Robespierre is smashed against the wall. Dashwood continues to send painful levels of Pleasure into him via his Cane.

(Robespierre: This isn’t the way HARD GAY is meant to be- AAGGHHH!!!!)

Blood streams from Robespierre’s body, whilst an aged Dashwood crawls over for some BOOK. Meanwhile, sensing his apparent demise, Lia cries tears of blood.

(Lia: To get the tears of blood effect, I recommend drinking lots of dyed water.)

To be continued…

One thought on “Le Chevalier d’Eon parody episode 17

  1. hahaha excellent! It brought tears to my eyes.

    favorite quote:”Hard YURI is nothing compared to Hard GAY!”

    …ain’t that the truth

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