Shounen Onmyouji parody episode 15

Taiin receives a wind-mail from Byakko and Suzaku.

Byakko: We have discovered important plot information. The evil onryou enemy of the arc is the spirit of a man named Hozumi no Moronao.

Seimei relays this information to Masahiro.

Seimei: Masahiro, I also have important background information about Moronao that will prevent us from having to have a budget-sucking action or movement scene for a few minutes. Basically he was evil when he was alive, and is evil now- and he hates Yukinari’s grandfather for exiling him.

Masahiro: You mean he wants to hurt Yukinari? This is important new information!

Mokkun: No it isn’t.

Seimei: It is vitally important that the curse on Yukinari be stopped at all costs. That is why I, the greatest onmyouji in the land, must leave it to you, a Level Five boy.

Masahiro: I am almost Level Six, you know.

That evening, Masahiro and Mokkun prepare to go out when Akiko comes over.

Akiko: Masahiro, if you don’t eat, your stamina bar will go down. Here, take this restorative item, Dried Peaches- it’s bound to come in handy.

Mokkun: That’s right, for they conveniently have the power to repel evil…hmm, maybe we should just throw peaches at our enemies from now on.

In the forest, Toshitsugu-Onryou spies on Yukinari.

Onryou: Gwakaka, evil, hatred, and budget saving animation of my standing still and watching a man lying motionless in bed!

The picture vanishes.

Onryou: Damn you!

At Yukinari’s house, Masahiro has set up a barrier.

Masahiro: This barrier is proof against all magic CCTV devices- and here are some dried peaches to repel evil.

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Elsewhere, the evil woman does evil things.

Woman: Fly, crow, for crows are evil! Now to summon chaos, hatred and other villainous concepts!

A barrier shatters and pieces fall everywhere. Seimei goes outside.

Seimei: Masahiro is at too low a level to deal with this- I’d better handle it.

As evil monsters rise out of the ground, bishie Seimei appears to deal with them.

Seimei: Curse Canceller! Four Hit Killer!

Seimei dispatches four evil spirits, but there are many more to deal with. Meanwhile, Onryou is still cursing in the forest.

Onryou: Barrier Breaker!

Masahiro’s barrier is broken.

Onryou: Time to stop watching magic CCTV and take action!

The onryou flies off, leaving an unconscious Toshitsugu behind. It flies to Yukinari and seemingly kills him.

Masahiro: You fool- Yukinari is too important a character to be killed by the likes of you! Binding Spell!

The onryou is trapped, and somehow teleported back to the forest to face a party of Masahiro, Guren and Rikugou.

Masahiro: Let me waste more time by explaining how I trapped you in an illusion!

Onryou: Damn you!

Masahiro: You’re after the wrong man! The one you want is already dead!

Onryou: Shut up! I’m an evil villain, I can’t just change course now!

Guren: Hurry up Masahiro- you need to get the EXP before he escapes.

Masahiro: Surely there’s enough time for the usual exposition and explanation of every single attack for the watching audience.

Rikugou: Wait- the inevitable distraction is on its way here.

Numerous moaning generic evil spirits fly towards the party.

Guren: Flaming Dragons!

Rikugou: Spear Crescent!

Taiin arrives.

Taiin: Wind Net!

The various attacks destroy the leading generics. Tenitsu appears.

Tenitsu: I am here for healing. All the sleeping ghosts in the capital have been awakened, and they are drawn here.

Masahiro: This sounds like an opportunity for a massive EXP gain!

As the spirit summons fight the generics, the evil woman sits and talks about evil.

Woman: Chaos and destruction!

Bishie Seimei approaches her.

Seimei: Now, now- didn’t anyone tell you the heroes always win? Spell Breaker!

Seimei’s spell removes her bells and cancels the ghost summoning.

Woman: What are you doing here? Everything is most definitely not going to plan!

Seimei: You’re supposed to say that everything is going to plan no matter what happens, you know.

Woman: Very well, then- even though it’s a lie, I shall pretend it was my plan to lure you out here all along! Now prepare to die!

Seimei: Commence Battle! Crescent Curses!

Woman: Dodge and Counter with Dagger Jump!

Seimei: Cancel with Water Wave!

Genbu joins the hero party.

Genbu: Genki Dama!

Genbu creates an energy blast, which the woman dodges. Seiryu joins the hero party.

Seiryu: Hey, let’s have a one-on-one duel.

Woman: Fine by me.

Meanwhile, Masahiro’s party is still dealing with ghosts.

Taiin: There’s too many of them!

Masahiro: Keep going- I need the EXP!

Tenitsu: I can’t fight, but I can protect your HP with this magic barrier!

Back at the one-on-one duel…

Woman: Change target! Attack Seimei!

Genbu: Defence! Wall of Water!

Seimei: Second Defence! Forbidding Pentagram!

The woman is repelled, but prepares to counterattack.

Seiryu: Spear Crescent- Seiryu Style!

Woman: Direct Attacker!

The woman rushes in and tries to stab Seimei, but Seiryu takes the blade instead. Genbu rushes in as he collapses, and is also attacked.

Woman: Looks like their levels were too low- or maybe they just don’t have the Destiny powers of a main character.

Meanwhile, the onryou is breaking free of his barrier, but the ghosts continue to attack.

Masahiro: It’s getting towards the end of the episode- at this rate I won’t reach Level Six! There’s only one thing to do, and that’s rely on a plot device, like these peaches that repel evil. Peach Shower Mass Exorcism!

Mashiro throws the peaches everywhere before performing an exorcism spell. Luckily, this method somehow works and all the spirits are exorcised.

Masahiro: I made it to Level Six!

Elsewhere, the woman faces off against Seimei.

Woman: Don’t worry, I’ll hesitate for long enough to enable your allies to rescue you. Binding Spell! Slow Advance!

Rikugou appears.

Rikugou: Block! Stay back, woman!

Woman: I actually have a name, you know- it’s Kazane. And now, since there’s a chance of my actually winning, I really should retreat and let you all rest up and restore your HP. I’ll just leave you with this Diamond Blades attack.

Rikougou: Barrier!

Rikugou stops the attack whilst the woman makes a getaway. Meanwhile, Masahiro finds Toshitsugu and wakes him up.

Toshitsugu: Why am I out in the forest with you? We didn’t have HARD GAY, did we?

Masahiro: Oh no, it’s all to do with plot related events, although since I can’t divulge them you’ll just have to take credit for exorcising the onryou.

Toshitsugu: Hmm, then in return I shall be slightly nicer to you. It’s win-win.

To be continued…