Winter Cicada 1: My Liang is bigger than your Ezo (part I)

Note: in the ever growing dictionary of parody terms, an Ezo shall now mean a small wang.

In an era of men and Swords, two star-crossed lovers from opposing groups meet and enjoy the finest HARD GAY known to man. Can their love survive, or is tragedy just around the corner in episode 2?


Some generics issue instructions for HARD GAY.


The enemy steps in to give everyone some Gun and Cannon.


Everyone dies in the throes of Pleasure…the end.


Okay, I lied, that was just the introduction- and here are our heroes, star-crossed HARD GAY lovers Kosaka and Akizuki.


And here’s how they looked a few years ago.


I don’t really have to embellish much for this series.


“It wasn’t true HARD GAY- they just had their way with us! Do they have no respect for our identical wigs?”


“They were just waiting until we had our pants down before they came in and took us from behind!”


“I’m afraid this sort of HARD GAY is considered acceptable across the world.”


“As long as you can get it up in time, nothing else really matters.”


“Did you want some quick CORPSE?”


“I just wanted to look at the size of their Liangs, that’s all.”


(“He thinks he knows all about HARD GAY now.”)


“Should we commence the evening’s HARD GAY?”


“I’m afraid my Ezo will need some warming up before we can begin.”


“Actually, I think I may not be able to get old motor running at all tonight, if you know what I mean.”


“Damn, I was looking forward to that HARD GAY.”


“Okay, tonight’s a write-off, but tomorrow we’ll have a group session with the foreign battalion.”


“Sounds good to me.”


“This should take your mind off your boyfriend.”


“I bet he gave you HARD GAY didn’t he?”


“I wasn’t with him just for the sex.”


“Do you ever regret leaving him in order to have HARD GAY with us?”


“You didn’t need HARD GAY with us when you had him.”


“Oh, I thought we weren’t having HARD GAY tonight, but your Ezo seems ready now.”


“All right, time for some Ezo!”


“Let us retire to bedroom to continue this.”


“…is important enough to merit its own Flashback Mode.”


Some women fruitlessly try to encourage the men to have fun, unaware that everyone with a Y chromosome in this series is HARD GAY.


“Aagh, there are women here! I must run away!”


“Kusaka, I’ll tell you where the men are!”


“The other guys left an hour ago; they’ve probably started HARD GAY without us.”


“I wanted to be a part of their HARD GAY session!”


“They were feeling horny- what could I say?”


“Once he’s in the mood, you don’t try to discourage him from HARD GAY.”


“Okay, but what do I do for HARD GAY tonight!? Should I just sleep with one of these generics?”


“Shut up- do you want everyone here to know you’d sleep with anyone with a Liang?”


“Wait, I didn’t really want a rough back alley session!”


“If we did that, there would be no shortage of HARD GAY partners!”


“This is a chaotic era, not unlike the Three Kingdoms!”


The eruption of distant HARD GAY is seen.


“Looks like they’ve reached a climax.”


“Such impressive fires of passion!”


“The HARD GAY is over, Kusaka- there’s no point hanging around.”


“Damn wooden fences- they have at least 80HP!”


“Are you having FENCE?”


“Is that an ornament on your waist or are you just pleased to see me?”


“This guy wants HARD GAY- don’t interfere!”


“He didn’t want you- he had his eye on some FENCE.”


“We must have Justice, not Chaos!”


“Are you the lead character? Let me see your Liang.”


“His hand feels so deft and sure!”


(“He is HARD GAY after all!”)


(“I must sleep with him properly.”)


“Look, we don’t sell HARD GAY porn around here.”


“What sort of bookstore doesn’t sell porn?”


“Guess I’ll have to spend my money in the blue light district after all.”


“Stop showing off your Liang! There’s no HARD GAY here for you!”


“Why won’t you let me have HARD GAY? I’m an experienced man!”


“What if they see your Zhuge Liang and start arguing over who should sleep with you first?”


“…I can ask foreigners for HARD GAY- but until then, I need it from your men!”


“…I have had to go without HARD GAY!”


“I need HARD GAY!”


“I can even get off on listening to others have it if need be!”


It’s the fateful encounter of the two OP characters…who would have guessed it?


“Ah, you’ve come just in time- I’m in sore need of HARD GAY.”


“Thank you for the hand job you gave me before.”


“I had a noble purpose! I wasn’t just begging for HARD GAY because I haven’t had any for a year and I’m getting desperate!”


“Are you my type?”


“If we’re not compatible, our HARD GAY won’t be any good.”


“Anyway, enough about me…how’s your love life going?”


“Well, my father has told me to give HARD GAY to whoever needs it.”


“I decided to follow his advice.”


“I bet you’re servicing the shogun, then.”


“Well, right now I just sleep with whoever I feel like.”


“I have also been studying HARD GAY techniques.”


(“…is just the sort of HARD GAY partner I need.”)


“Hey, I’ve just had an idea…why don’t I get you up to speed on the latest techniques?”


“Would you really do that for me?”


“Well, I have to do home study anyway- it’s probably better to learn with a partner than via Hyper Self Pleasure.”


“Thank you ever so much!”

5 thoughts on “Winter Cicada 1: My Liang is bigger than your Ezo (part I)

  1. Uh, the show is gay because it’s a BL show… Making hard gay jokes about a BL show is like shooting fish in a barrel. o_O

  2. Yeah, I know I could have just posted the screencaps on their own and it would have been as HARD GAY as the average parody, but since it’s only at the level of meaningful glances and not full on hard yaoi, I thought “why not embellish it?”

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