Akidzuki wakes from nightmares about the auction house HARD GAY, only to find himself at the troupe’s HQ.
(Akidzuki: Not these weirdoes again.)
Akidzuki goes to leave, but Ebisu stops him.
Ebisu: Oh no, you don’t! If you leave, our screen time will be reduced.
Akidzuki: Sorry, but I have to go and find a HARD GAY partner.
Zagashira: I think you’ll find that there are many willing partners here- and since we rescued you from that fire, you might say that you owe us at least one night of Pleasure.
Akidzuki: I don’t think so.
Soutetsu: Oh well, just leave him for the moment- we have plot matters to attend to.
Elsewhere, Nakaiya talks to Glover.
Glover: Who is this Youjiro Akidzuki anyway?
Nakaiya: Based on evidence from the OP, I believe he is the main character, gwakaka. Now, let us sip wine and laugh evilly.
Whilst they do so, Hario and some generics guard the gatling guns outside.
(Hario: I’m bored with this- it’s a job for generics, not named characters.)
Generic: Where are you going? You are meant to be on hand to service Nakaiya.
Hario: I am sorry, but I would much rather have HARD GAY with the main character.
Generic: Are you saying our Sword isn’t good enough?
Hario walks out.
Generic 2: Let him go- Sword is nothing compared to mastering Gatling Gun.
Hario goes into town and starts trailing Akidzuki. The camera gets a good close-up at their ‘swords’ as Akidzuki leads Hario to a temple.
Akidzuki: Why are you after me? Don’t you know that a man as ugly as you are will never get into my bed?
Hario: Does any of that really matter? With my Earth-Splitting Sword, I can easily have my way with you any time I feel like it.
Hario starts sending HARD GAY energy to Akidzuki, who dodges it.
(Akidzuki: Whatever I do, I cannot ever let such a hideous man have HARD GAY with me.)
(Hario: What is this? Why isn’t he getting aroused?)
At their HQ, the troupe discusses Akidzuki.
Shiranui: I hear from my contacts in the HARD GAY world that he is a master of Sword- so much so that he may have even given fatal Pleasure to Ryouma.
Kakunojo: Really? I was hoping he was BI.
Akidzuki: According to the plot, I have to work with you people. Be thankful for the screen time.
Ebisu: What an attitude!
Soutetsu: Now, now, let us accept his offer…I can’t wait to see how he performs in bed.
(Kakunojo: This is great! We might be able to turn him BI.)
With Akidzuki’s help, the troupe lays an ambush for Hario.
Akidzuki: So, what’s the obsession with Hario anyway? You can’t possibly want Pleasure with him.
Zagashira: In order to answer your question, I must invoke Flashback Mode. You see, it was Hario who killed Kakunojo’s parents and caused Ebisu to be disfigured with burns, and since then the three of us have waited patiently for the series to begin so that we can enact our revenge on screen.
As the troupe watches, Hario and the gatling gun convoy pass by, only to be given Arrow and Sword by bandits. Hario responds by giving them Gatling Gun, which causes Akidzuki to appear and counter with Sword.
(Hario: Oh, it looks like my destined HARD GAY partner has shown up! He won’t get away from taking my Sword this time!)
Hario runs after Akidzuki and tries to give him Sword, only to run into the troupe’s ambush.
Kakunojo: The time has come to take revenge for giving my parents fatal Sword!
Hario: Did I do that? I’ve had Pleasure with so many unwilling victims that I can’t be expected to remember them all.
The troupe attacks Hario, but no one seems able to withstand his hideous HARD GAY energy, until a distant sniper distracts him with Gun. The troupe rushes in and finishes him off.
After Soutetsu arranges some plot-related historical matters, Akidzuki is forced to give himself Self Pleasure in absence of a partner. Later, Soutetsu gets back to writing his plays.
(Soutetsu: I must finish the script for episode three before next week.)
To be continued…