Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto parody episode 6

Nakaiya holds a meeting with Glover and Kanna.

Nakaiya: Now, I hope you don’t mind if we all sip wine- as a Fei Wong class villain there are certain mannerisms I must adopt, such as periodically saying gwakaka. Anyway, I’ve heard a lot about you, Kanna- according to the rumours, your Gun is rather small.

Kanna gets out his ‘Gun’ and aims it at Nakaiya.

Kanna: I’ll teach you to call me small!

Nakaiya: No, I don’t think you will- you came here for HARD GAY, not CORPSE.

Kakunojo talks to Akidzuki.

Kakunojo: I’m sorry that we keep coming back for more screen time.

Akidzuki: Don’t worry about it.

Soutetsu comes out.

Soutetsu: I’ve finished the script for this episode- we don’t need to stall for time anymore.

Akidzuki’s gaydar activates.

(Akidzuki: Looks like he’s put plenty of HARD GAY into this script.)

Nakaiya shows Kanna Old Mage and the Lord’s Head.

Nakaiya: The Lord’s Head represents the ultimate in HARD GAY technology- its aura is beyond anything you have ever experienced.

Old Mage: Would you like to try it with me- the best HARD GAY of your life?

Kanna: No, thank you- Akidzuki is the only man for me.

(Kanna: I may be desperate for HARD GAY, but even so, sleeping with this old mage would be just too sad.)

Nakaiya: Gwakaka, it’s time for some exposition! Akidzuki is a worthy choice of partner, for his Liang is known as the Moontear Sword, and is said to offer Pleasure beyond that of three thousand normal men and women.

Elsewhere, Soutetsu and Akidzuki discuss the Lord’s Head.

Akidzuki: The Pleasure offered by the Lord’s Head is too dangerous for anyone to handle- I must seal it.

(Akidzuki: As long as the Lord’s Head exists, I cannot achieve my goal of being the best lover in the universe.)

Soutetsu: I need the power of the Lord’s Head in order to benefit all of Japan- you would understand if you tried BI.

(Soutetsu: I need it to enhance my personal BI and make me the best lover in the universe.)

Akidzuki: I’m not giving BI to anyone.

(Soutetsu: Say what you like, but I will tempt you to my bed, Akidzuki!)

Meanwhile, Katsu invites Shinmon Tatsubou over for some HARD GAY.

Tasubou: You want me to come and see a play? I thought we were just going to have a one night stand.

Katsu: I thought we should build up our relationship by going out on a date.

Tasubou: Very well- at the least, it gives me a little more screen time.

Kotoha: Oh by the way, where’s that guy with the Gun?

Katsu: I don’t actually know. It’s a shame, really, as I was thinking of giving him HARD GAY today.

That evening, the final performance of the play is performed, and this time, the troupe has a revelation.

Kakunojo: The name of the villain in this arc is…Nakaiya Jubei!

The Akki Rasetsu appear, and Shiranui and Akidzuki start giving them Blade.

Akki Rasetsu: Kill! Kill! Kill!

(Akidzuki: That’s it! I’m sick of these guys getting more dialogue than me!)

Akidzuki attacks the three Akki Rasetsu, knocking them down.

(Shiranui: Impressive Blade!)

Karasuma rises up for another attack; Akidzuki goes to give him fatal Sword, but Kanna beats him to it with Gun.

(Kanna: It’s Akidzuki! I should give him Gun, but the anticipation is just so delicious that I can’t do the deed yet!)

Kanna runs off.

(Soutetsu: Hmm, that man has a rather impressive Gun- I must tempt him to my bed.)

(Shiranui: Damn- I missed out on good HARD GAY again.)

The Lord’s Head begins glowing with intense HARD GAY energy.

Old Mage: This feels great! I love the Pleasure the Lord’s Head brings!

Whilst the play was going on, a secondary storyline so dull I couldn’t be bothered to mention it before has caused the brothel to burn down, leaving Katsu and his lovers outside.

Man: Do you still intend to have HARD GAY, sir, even though we’ll have to do it outside now?

Katsu: Of course- having the public watch us just gets me more excited. Even so, we must not get too intense- I don’t think I want the flames of our passion to burn this entire place down.

To be continued…