Romeo X Juliet parody episode 5

Whilst Romeo has Pleasure with Juliet, Cielo neighs from outside.

(Romeo: Oh my god, what am I doing? I swore to be faithful to HORSE, yet here I am having STRAIGHT!)

Romeo: Sorry!

Romeo runs outside and has quick HORSE with Cielo.

Romeo: I’m sorry, Cielo, I don’t know what came over me. You will always be my first love.

Juliet comes outside.

Romeo: You know, Juliet, just what got you into cross-dressing in the first place?

Juliet: Um, er, it’s best not to ask.

Back at home, Conrad and the others bemoan Juliet’s absence.

Conrad: When am I going to get to do anything than stand in this room and complain about Juliet’s recklessness?

Francisco: It is unacceptable that someone as bishie as I am is getting hardly any screen time.

Meanwhile, Romeo drops Juliet off at Iris Garden.

Romeo: I will see you again, won’t I?

Juliet: Well, this series is called Romeo X Juliet, so I should think so.

(Romeo: Juliet.)

Cielo snorts.

(Cielo: Don’t you dare two-time me!)

For some reason, it takes Juliet all day just to get home, during which time Cordelia learns that the generic evils are now menacing the populace by rationing their food. Upon hearing this, Conrad punches a table in frustration.

Conrad: Damn it! If only I could go outside and do something about this instead of being stuck in this room all the time!

Cordelia: It’s terrible- they’re even randomly arresting generics!

Conrad: Even though this is happening in plain sight, we must somehow keep it from Juliet to prevent her from doing anything reckless.

That evening, Juliet talks to Cordelia.

Juliet: Hey, Cordelia, I’d like to sew a shirt for my boyfriend.

Cordelia: Well, that’s a nice thought, but your Needlework ability is still on Level Zero. Maybe you should start with something simpler, like a handkerchief.

Meanwhile, Romeo is in bed.

Romeo: I must find out more about Juliet and her cross-dressing ways….hmm, I wonder if she could even be the Red Whirlwind. No, there’s absolutely no way that that could be the case.

The next day, Juliet makes an attempt at sewing.

Juliet: Hmm, handkerchiefs are more complex than they appear- this could take a while.

In town, generics have been imprisoned in WOODEN cages by Cerimon, a minion of evil.

Cerimon: Gwakaka, now all the preparations are complete for my kinky bondage Pleasure!

Later, the doctor confronts another lackey of evil, the local priest.

Doctor: Father, I can’t believe that a priest such as you could possibly be evil!

Priest: Gwakaka, where have you been all these years? Priests invariably turn out to be evil!

Antonio goes to Juliet’s room just as she finishes the handkerchief.

Antonio: Juliet, Grandfather actually went out for once!

Juliet: What!? Something important must be happening.

Juliet dresses as Odin and goes out with Antonio.

Cordelia: Juliet, you mustn’t go out- you’ll only get caught up in plot events again!

Juliet: I’m sorry, but the viewers have specifically requested a plot!

Cordelia: Fine, but I’m coming with you- I’ll be darned if I’m going to miss out on screen time because of this!

Juliet, Antonio and Cordelia randomly run around until they find the captured generics.

Juliet: We have to save them!

Francisco and Curio appear, and Curio uses a slap to deplete Juliet’s HP.

Curio: Look at you- five episodes in and you’re still at Level One. How do you expect to win against Level Two soldiers?

Juliet: But I can’t just give up and let generics die- that isn’t the way of a main character!

The doctor appears.

Doctor: Juliet, a main character cannot risk their life this early in the series. Let a supporting character such as myself do all the hard work.

The doctor runs off, somehow magically getting changed into the Red Whirlwind costume (where did he get it from?) on the way. He jumps out into the crowd of generics and evil soldiers.

To be continued…

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