Romeo X Juliet parody episode 10

Juliet and Antonio enter the Sewer map and meet up with Tybalt.

Tybalt: Antonio, I must replace you in the active party and lead Juliet to safety before she gets into battle with any enemies capable of draining all her HP in one hit.

Juliet: But everyone else up there is fighting- and the opponents are only level three!

Tybalt: Fine, go back up there and die- that way I can become the main character.

Antonio: You’d better go, Juliet- look, even I can push you over.

Antonio lightly pushes Juliet, scoring a critical hit. Tybalt takes her away for some HORSE.

(Juliet: This HORSE is so skilled!)

After HORSE, Tybalt and Juliet go to the Pleasure district of Neo Verona.

Tybalt: Any sort of Pleasure can be obtained here- with the right amount of gold, anything from an Ezo to a Zhuge Liang can fall into your hands.

Meanwhile, Montague presides over another council.

Montague: The Capulets were totally unsuited to rule! They did not have chairs, an evil laugh, or an inexplicable hatred for grapes! In fact, they were know for their voracious appetites when it came to any sort of fruit!

I move that you all give me more money, so that I can pursue my agenda of crushing every grape in existence! And since you are all too generic to object, I’ll just go and stroke my beard in an evil fashion for a while.

Romeo: Wait! I know that grapes that have turned sour can have a particularly bad taste, but of late I have begun to wonder if they might actually be tasty if given the chance.

Chairman: All in favour of trying grapes, please rise!

Everyone remains seated and the council session ends. Outside, Romeo enters Angst Mode.

Mercutio: Romeo, you should know that old men aren’t interested in grapes for anything other than wine. If you want to get your ideas across, you should spend lots of time in the company of young men, like me.

Tybalt checks up on Juliet in their rented room, but she is stuck in Angst Mode.

Juliet: It’s all my fault! Everything that went wrong is because of me.

Tybalt: Yep, that’s pretty much it; you’re pathetic, inexperienced and completely unworthy of being a main character- unlike myself.

Later, Juliet decides to experience Angst Mode outside, but the great outdoors is a dangerous place.

Battle Mode on!

Juliet is approached by Lusty Generic! Damage Taken!

Juliet enters Painful Flashback Status! Damage Taken!

Juliet is splashed by Carriage! Damage Taken!

Juliet is slapped by Random Woman! Damage Taken!

Black Cat uses Growl on Juliet! KO!

Conveniently, Juliet is rescued by Portia, whilst Tybalt watches from afar.

Tybalt: I’m sick of being a guest character in her party- time to dump her and go back to pure HORSE.

Whilst Juliet receives healing at the convent, Portia sends for Romeo.

Montague: Where are you going at this late hour, Romeo?

Romeo: To see Mother.

(Montague: So, you have truly abandoned the ways of HARD GAY in favour of STRAIGHT. It seems my plan to get you away from HORSE has backfired.)

At the convent, Portia talks to Romeo.

Portia: You’ve probably already figured this out, but Duke Capulet was a good person who was murdered by my evil ex-husband.

Romeo: Father is evil? I never noticed a thing!

Later, Romeo and Juliet are reunited. The next day, they go outside.

Juliet: Hey, Romeo, let’s re-enact a scene from the original play!

Romeo: Good idea, then we can forget that there ever was a play and run away together!

Juliet: Let’s do it.

To be continued…

One thought on “Romeo X Juliet parody episode 10

  1. Montague: The Capulets were totally unsuited to rule! They did not have chairs, an evil laugh, or an inexplicable hatred of grapes!

    I love that whole grape business.

    And the scene where Juliet enters battle mode outside!!

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