Pumpkin Scissors parody 18

With Randel seeming depressed, Stekkin decides to find out more about his Pleasure habits to see if there’s anything that can be done to improve his love life. But when he claims that he wants all the lovers in the world, is there anything that can be done?

I’m all for dancing…


…it must be said that good choreography is everything.

“Now to relax with a spot of DOG.”

“Even with DOG, foreplay is everything.”

“Now step up the tempo!”

“Seduce the dog with feminine wiles!”

“…and finish!”

“There’s still a stigma attached to the whole process of DOG.”

“I swear never to have DOG again!”

“What’s going on in here!?”

“Oh god- busted!”

“It’s not what you think- I most definitely wasn’t in here having secret DOG!”

“It’s okay- I’m not prejudiced against DOG.”

“Okay, that’s enough research into DOG- next I need to probe into the world of HARD GAY.”

“Oreld, you’re a man who’s familiar with the ways of Pleasure.”

“Could you teach me some methods of Hyper Self Pleasure?”

“Forget that- I’ll show you how to get a partner.”

“Randel, we should ‘energise’ ourselves with a healthy round of Pleasure.”


“Uh, I’m not sure I follow what’s going on here.”

“We’re talking about a HARD GAY brothel, of course!”

“If you go there, I can’t join in!”

“It’s just getting out of hand!”

“Dream on- you’re not my type.”

“At least act like you’re interested!”

“Oh well, maybe I can find out more about Pleasure from Machs.”

“After all, he truly is the Hyper Self Pleasure Man!”

“No one is as skilled at Hyper Self Pleasure as Machs!”

“See, he’s even doing it here!”

“…and now he’s gone off for some sausage!”

Clearly this is a typo and he meant to say “There were people that I couldn’t have, as well.”

Similarly, this must be “How many people do you have to have…”

“Everyone make way for me, a minor character!”

“They said my Claymore wasn’t big enough.”

“Nonetheless, I was able to earn this ‘two swords’ badge of HARD GAY.”

“Our Liangs penetrate the enemy with the skill and keenness of swords!”

“Of course, it’s taken six months of intense HARD GAY to reach this level!”

“Did you feel Pleasure merely from my presence?”

“I suppose you don’t get much in the normal run of things, do you?”

“Why, I have that many lovers in an afternoon!”

“Come back- I need screen time!”

“Stay out of this- you’re even more minor than I am!”

“Damn you! I will have a starring role one day!”

“Bullet time!”

“Damn, now we’ve got a minor character uprising on our hands!”

“We’re named characters- we can take them!”

“Actually, let’s use the escape command to avoid game over!”

“Wait- Randel selected Defend instead of Escape!”

“Damn- he’s too good at Pleasure to be risking himself in this way! I’ll have to fight after all!”

“Somehow it’s turned into a rough HARD GAY session!”

“Machs, for the sake of HARD GAY, you must join in!”

“I will!”

“HARD GAY isn’t for you.”

“How dare you have HARD GAY without us?”

“Now you’re in for it- hold them down!”

“As punishment, you shall all be taken roughly from behind!”

“You know, those guys were much better at Rifle than they had any right to be!”

“We might be able to have Rifle like that from time to time…”

“…but we’d never be able to keep it up every day.”

“You know, I really have a craving for some Rifle about now.”

“If we upgrade the models, it would be even more Pleasurable than usual!”

“Are you so into Rifle because that woman broke your Swords?”

“…who would even guess she had the stamina for it?”

(“HARD GAY isn’t relaxing Randel at all- he needs something else!”)

(“I must introduce him to BI!”)

“You know, I never realised that Oreld wanted HARD GAY and even BI with so many people.”

“I just think about satisfying my own needs, and never notice that people might want other partners.”

“I have lacklustre HARD GAY because I don’t think about my partner.”

“By the way, you realise this is a secret, right?”

“Part of being in the army is being able to study Pleasure techniques.”

“Even if we focus on ourselves, we’ll still get all the practise we need to become good.”

“If you figure out the kind of Pleasure you like to give and receive, it’ll all work out.”

“Hey, Oreld…”

“Excuse me a moment, I’m just seeing off my lovers.”

“Hey, sorry about that whole argument earlier.”

“It’s just that to me, every lover is important- you can’t just treat the ones you take to bed as unimportant because others got away.”

“I know, but I need as many lovers as possible- everyone in the world, in fact!”

“That’s an impressive goal.”

“But I’m afraid you’re going to have to learn how to share.”

“Well, that’s Randel dealt with…but now it seems we’re gearing up for a storyline about Alice.”

“If he wants so many lovers, then let’s see him work his way through this stack of personal ads!”

How’s that for a cliff-hanger?

This entry was posted in Pumpkin Scissors and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Pumpkin Scissors parody 18

  1. Mentar says:

    Recalling this episode just broke my brain ^_^;

    How comes you’re working on Pumpkin Scissors NOW??

  2. Karura says:

    Let’s just say I had a run in with laziness before I finished the parodies…

Comments are closed.