Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei: the lost chapters
Sensei enters the classroom.
Sensei: Class, today there is no class! As the world is ending tomorrow, we must make the most of our final hours?
Chiri: What do you mean, Sensei?
Sensei pulls out an diagram of CERN and the Large Hadron Collider.
Sensei: When they switch this on tomorrow, it will create a micro black hole and the whole world will be sucked in?
Kafka: I’m sure that won’t happen, Sensei.
Chiri: It’s just a baseless speculation- no sensible person would believe in it. Remember when the world was going to end in 1999?
Sensei: If we don’t take this seriously, then the world will really end and we’ll have missed a vital opportunity to completely disregard authority.
Sensei pours out a drink of alcohol, but it falls off the desk and smashes on the floor.
Sensei: Zetsubou shita! These reports of the end of the world have left me in despair!
- Dancing lessons would have been back on Friday.
- Tickets booked for events next year are now worthless.
- Even if the world does end, we won’t know it happened.
- The new school year has begun- all those wasted applications and homework!
- We needn’t have worried about resources running out.
- All those B-movies were wrong.
What’s in Naoki’s Newspaper?
Viewers of Itazura na Kiss will have noticed that Naoki pays more attention to his newspaper than his wife, but what is it that keeps him so occupied? We decided to suggest some possible articles that might have caught his eye.
- “How to be a Complete and Utter Bastard”
- “How not to be a Complete and Utter Bastard” (he keeps rereading it in the hopes that it will make sense one day).
- “Sweater Fashions: What not to wear”
- “Wil Schultz and Major Stork’s family advice column”
Blade of the Immortal 2
“Oh, homicidal– I thought you said homosexual!”
“You are a lousy lover!”
“But his Liang was Zhuge!”
“It is not the size that matters, it’s the technique.”
“Yesterday, you got greedy and tried to have two men at once!”
“One of them was an accursed gaijin, a filthy white man!”
“No man has ever tried to Pleasure two partners at once before!”
“And that one of them was a savage was even worse!”
“Who cares as long as you conquer your partner and force them to submit?”
“You don’t even need to undress to make me think dirty thoughts about you.”
“Teenage boys, on the other hand…”
“If you want to turn STRAIGHT, then you might as well go the whole way.”
“If you are as frustrated as you say, then show me by giving me the greatest Pleasure of my life!”
“Very well- I will.”
HARD GAY corner: Final Fantasy Tactics
Deprived of the HARD GAY a boy naturally enjoys with his brothers, Ramza Beoulve turned to his best friend Delita, but their happy years together came to an end when Delita decided to pursue new methods of Pleasure. Whilst Delita tried to set events in motion to cause the largest orgy ever, Ramza travelled the land, searching for the ultimate in HARD GAY partners. Unfortunately, all too often he was branded a heretic for hurting old men who only wanted little boys, but along the way he recruited the likes of Gun user Mustadio, “Hell in bed” knight Malak and Swordsman Orlandu to satisfy him in the bedroom. In the end, however, he decided that INCEST with his sister Alma was the way to go, and rode off into the sunset.
Mini-editorial: Are we too obsessed with tagging everything?
Mini-editorial is back (for this week, anyway), and we’re here to discuss the new(-ish) phenomenon that’s swept the internet- tags! From blog posts to images, everything can now be tagged with useful keywords that make searching for what you need that much easier, but whilst I find tagging as useful as the next internet addict, I have to wonder if we’ve gone a step too far. For example, these days when I write a review for Amazon, there’s an option to add tags to that review, and I have to wonder- does anyone actually use those tags in any constructive way whatsoever? Are we now at the stage where we tag things for the sake of it? Are we cluttering up our world with useless tags just because it’s a bit of a novelty? Or will the great tag infrastructure of the world someday prove useful? Like all things, maybe we need to use tagging in moderation- in some places, it is of course highly useful, but if it brings nothing to whatever we’re doing, maybe we shouldn’t be quite so tag-happy.
Harem of the week: Kazuki (Dual)
After being sent to a parallel universe, Kazuki discovered more than a few beautiful girls were up for spending time with him- all ultimately coming to live in the same house. What else would you expect from the creator of Tenchi?
Mitsuki Sanada: The main girl who comes across from Kazuki’s home universe- the tsundere type who hates any form of competition.
Mitsuki Rara: Mitsuki’s parallel universe counterpart; although she dresses up and plays the part of the overbearing enemy queen, her natural personality is reserved and self-effacing.
D: An alien being in an artificial body, she interprets things literally and has little understanding of the nuances of human behaviour.
Yayoi: The older woman, she acts as a mentor and teacher but holds a torch for Kazuki after he saves her life.