Zhuge Liang waits for Lu Xun.
Zhuge Liang: Come, Lu Xun, show me that there is at least one man in this land worthy of being my partner. In the meantime, I shall randomly burn everything, just as any good final boss should do!
Whilst the other Pleasure Rangers fight off the burning meteors that are falling on China, Lu Xun (who is back to being Ranger Red) heads for Zhuge Liang.
Sun Quan: I’m about as useful in battle as that guy in Captain Planet who had the Heart power, so I’ll just stay here and pray for everyone.
Zhuge Liang: This world is corrupt, and must be destroyed! Continue reading “Koutetsu Sangokushi parody episode 25 [end]”
Zhuge Liang talks to the Lord’s Cube.
Zhuge Liang: Lord’s Cube, please tell me the name of the one worthy to see my might weapon- is it Lu Xun or Liu Bei?
Meanwhile, the Liu Bei dragon attacks Lu Xun and Sun Quan.
Liu Bei: Die, and let me become the main character! All Iever wanted was love and peace- that’s why I’ve just wiped out half of China with my mighty dragon!
Lu Xun: Wait- I’m sure we can work things out!
Liu Bei: Never! Give me back my precious flowers! Frozen Breath!
Liu Bei starts freezing Lu Xun, which takes much longer than usual due to the latter’s main character status. Continue reading “Koutetsu Sangokushi parody episode 24”
Lu Xun has a Flashback Mode to the time when he first met Zhuge Liang in a black, featureless void.
Zhuge Liang: Poor little boy, all alone without even a backdrop, Come to me, and I will show you the ways of men- it will hurt at first, but in time I’m sure you’ll come to enjoy it.
Meanwhile, Liu Bei plays alone in the frozen wasteland.
Liu Bei: Playing with the frozen men, having so much fun- wait a minute, Lu Xun isn’t here! I can’t become the main character until I get rid of him!
Meanwhile, Lu Xun has run off with Sun Quan. Continue reading “Koutetsu Sangokushi parody episode 23”
Liu Bei rails at the deaths of Guan Yu and Zhang Fei.
Liu Bei: Damn those accursed Pleasure Rangers! Zhuge Liang, give me the HARD GAY power needed to defeat them!
Zhuge Liang: Certainly, my Lord.
Zhuge Liang uses the Lord’s Cube to infuse Liu Bei with HARD GAY energy; somehow in the process a boss monster is produced- a dragon with Liu Bei junctioned to its head.
Meanwhile, at Wu palace, Wei’s Zhang Liao comes charging in. He is taken to see Sun Quan. Continue reading “Koutetsu Sangokushi parody episode 22”
Lu Xun tends to Guan Yu, who fortunately is back in human form.
Guan Yu: Don’t you hate me? I mean, it was my turning into a horse monster that tipped this series over the edge into complete and utter ridiculousness.
Lu Xun: I shouldn’t worry, it was heading that way from the start. We shouldn’t blame ourselves when the writers are the ones at fault!
Meanwhile, Liu Bei is having a tantrum.
Liu Bei: Why am I being cast as the villain in this series? Everyone knows I’m righteous and good! Continue reading “Koutetsu Sangokushi parody episode 21”
Whilst the Guan Yu horse monster thrashes around in a gorge, Zhang Fei is getting worried about his oath-brother.
Zhang Fei: Zhuge Liang, where did you send Guan Yu? It’s getting late and I need him to warm my bed.
Zhuge Liang: Sorry, but I’ve been too busy admiring myself to know where he is- he could have turned into a raging horse monster for all I know.
Zhang Fei: Horse monster? Damn you and your Lord’s Cube- I knew it was bad for the body!
Zhang Fei runs off to find Guan Yu.
Liu Bei: Where’s Zhang Fei off to? Continue reading “Koutetsu Sangokushi parody episode 20”
As the Pleasure Rangers continue on their way home, Lu Xun is still in Angst Mode.
(Lu Xun: Why did this have to happen? Now I’m never going to get a glimpse of Master’s mighty weapon!)
Lu Meng: I think there’s a farmhouse nearby- we should rest and have some refreshing HARD GAY there.
Taishi Ci: But we need to get back quickly so that we can service Sun Quan!
Lu Meng: If we’re out of practice, we’ll be in no fit state to service him.
At Liu Bei’s palace, the named Shu characters gather together. Continue reading “Koutetsu Sangokushi parody episode 19”
Lu Xun is in Angst Mode.
Taishi Ci: Snap out of it, man- there are only seven episodes left! We have to get back to Wu!
After a brief spot of HORSE, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei report in to Liu Bei.
Liu Bei: What do you mean, you were unable to defeat the Pleasure Rangers? What are you, mindless underlings?
Zhuge Liang: Do not fear, my Lord; this week’s plan will surely succeed, because instead of attacking well protected main characters, we are going after some mid-bosses from Wei.
Liu Bei: Excellent- and if you could perhaps bring back their severed Swords for me, as I seem to have lost mine.
Zhuge Liang: Now get to it- it’s time for Liu Bei and I to have wild Pleasure in the garden. Continue reading “Koutetsu Sangokushi parody episode 18”
Lu Xun and Ling Tong approach Zhuge Liang’s hut.
Ling Tong: Aniki, are you sure you should go alone?
Lu Xun: Yes- I need to ask Zhuge Liang to bless our union.
Ling Tong: Can I actually count on you to come back? What if he seduces you into breaking up with me?
Lu Xun: I wish- er, I mean, wait here, and if I don’t get any better offers I’ll be back for you later. Continue reading “Koutetsu Sangokushi parody episode 17”
Ling Tong binds Lu Xun’s wounds.
(Ling Tong: He has to notice me after this!)
(Lu Xun: Master, why have you forsaken me for the charms of other men?)
The next day, Lu Xun visits the shrine with Sun Quan.
Lu Xun: Before he died, Zhou Yu told me that Master was in danger.
Sun Quan: This is serious news indeed- without him, China would lose a valuable source of HARD GAY. Lu Xun, as the main character, you must save him. Continue reading “Koutetsu Sangokushi parody episode 16”