Final Thoughts: Romeo X Juliet

In the floating city of Neo Verona, the Capulet family ruled peacefully- until the night Lord Montague massacred them and took control of the city for himself. Unbeknownst to him, however, the surviving friends and retainers of the family take it upon themselves to rescue Capulet’s daughter Juliet and raise her in secret, all the while keeping her unaware of her true heritage. Now, fourteen years later, Juliet has finally come of age, and so the time has come for her to learn the truth- and hopefully lead an uprising against Montague’s increasingly cruel regime. Juliet, however, has other concerns, for she has just met a young man named Romeo- and it is only after she starts falling in love with him that she learns he is the son of her enemy Montague.

Continue reading “Final Thoughts: Romeo X Juliet”

Romeo X Juliet parody episode 24 [end]

Ophelia kisses Juliet.

Juliet: No! I don’t want to turn HARD YURI!

Meanwhile, Francisco, Curio , Conrad and Tybalt are stuck outside.

Francisco: It looks like we aren’t even important enough to be allowed into the final area.

Tybalt: I hate to say it, but the time has come to accept our accursed roles as supporting characters. All we can do is carry out useless time-filling tasks whilst we wait for Romeo and Juliet to resolve the plot.

Romeo prepares to confront Ophelia. Continue reading “Romeo X Juliet parody episode 24 [end]”

Romeo X Juliet parody episode 23

Everyone has been patiently waiting in the throne room since last episode.

Romeo: Juliet, I now declare that you are Grand Duchess of Neo Verona. Use your main character power to save the people whilst I go back to the village to continue my Harvest Moon dreams.

Generics cheer as the Capulet banner is raised.

Generics: Hooray! This will probably make little difference to our inoffensive, generic lives, but let’s cheer anyway!

(Cordelia: This must mean the series is coming to an end soon! I’m so glad!)

Whilst everyone rejoices, Romeo visits his father’s corpse.

Romeo: Father, you need never force young men to have HARD GAY with you again. Continue reading “Romeo X Juliet parody episode 23”

Romeo X Juliet parody episode 22

Juliet is angsting over her destiny when Tybalt appears.

Tybalt: Juliet, I must have some kind of plot role to justify my existence- therefore I must insist that I be the one to kill Montague.

Juliet: Hatred and anger is wrong- the only way out of this situation is for me to become WOOD.

Tybalt: WOOD?

Juliet: Yes- and so I won’t be here to give Romeo STRAIGHT. Could you perhaps educate him in the ways of HARD GAY?

(Tybalt: Oh great- just what I wanted to hear.) Continue reading “Romeo X Juliet parody episode 22”

Romeo X Juliet parody episode 21

Picking up where last episode left off.

Ophelia: Yes, the time has come for you to have TREE with Escalus and thus turn into one yourself, proving the superiority of WOOD over mere flesh.

Juliet passes out, and awakens later by herself.

Juliet: Must I really sacrifice myself for the sake of a load of generics? Is becoming WOOD the answer?

Meanwhile, the city has been badly damaged. Mercutio addresses some soldiers.

Mercutio: Why are you all standing around? We need to prepare the bedchamber for the Grand Duke! Continue reading “Romeo X Juliet parody episode 21”

Romeo X Juliet parody episode 20

At the village, Romeo finds that all the crops have failed, crushing his Harvest Moon dreams.

Romeo: How can this be happening? I followed all the instructions in the manual!

Giovanni: Looks like we bought a special edition of Harvest Moon with more challenging requirements.

Romeo: Well then, we’ll just have to reset and start a new game.

(Romeo: And I’m going to find that guy who gave me those ‘magical’ seeds! I can’t believe I fell for one of the oldest tricks in the book!) Continue reading “Romeo X Juliet parody episode 20”

Romeo X Juliet parody episode 19

Romeo shows Juliet his masterwork, the Harvest Moon village.

Romeo: As you can see, it isn’t perfect- this one tiny field that holds all my livestock isn’t ideal, and my great plans to have everyone live here one day might be a teensy bit ambitious.

Juliet: I think it’s wonderful- although not as wonderful as you.

Romeo: Your lips are so soft!

Juliet: And your hands are so strong!

Romeo and Juliet have a Romantic Moment. Continue reading “Romeo X Juliet parody episode 19”

Romeo X Juliet parody episode 18

Juliet and her allies hold a meeting.

Francisco: What we need to do is somehow assemble a previously unmentioned group of HORSE cavalry for an all-out attack.

Conrad: So what we need to do is start recruiting generics.

Francisco: Yes- it’s only episode 18, so we have plenty of time to make arrangements.

A delivery of apples arrives, but beneath the apples are a pile of swords.

Conrad: Damn, why did we have to go short on apples just so they could fit in these pointless swords? Continue reading “Romeo X Juliet parody episode 18”

Romeo X Juliet parody episode 17

Emilia, Conrad and Shakespeare ride towards the summer house.

Emilia: Wow, it’s episode seventeen and I’m still getting screen time! I thought I was going to be a one shot character!

Shakespeare: Can you shut up for a moment? I still can’t come up with a decent plot for this series!

At the mines, Romeo receives a message that he and the workers are not allowed to return.

Romeo: We aren’t? I thought my father would welcome us all with open arms.

Generic: What are we going to do? We’re all going to die, and worse yet, no one will even care! Continue reading “Romeo X Juliet parody episode 17”

Romeo X Juliet parody episode 16

At the Keep, Hermione confronts Mercutio.

Hermione: I somehow magically heard that there was an accident in the mines! Do you think Romeo survived?

Mercutio: Unfortunately, he did, which puts paid to my plans of becoming the main character.

Hermione: Don’t say that! Juliet is the one we must get rid of, so that I can replace her. In fact, I shall go and do that right now!

Hermione rushes off to visit the mines. Meanwhile, Juliet’s party continues onwards to Ariel’s summer house.

Juliet: Enter Romantic Angst Mode! Ah, Romeo, how much I love you. Continue reading “Romeo X Juliet parody episode 16”