Picking up from where episode 12 left off…
King: Dearest Barty!
Barty: Your Highness, how I missed your skills on the giant penis airship, which is probably where I was all this time. Oh, and Gerald, thank you for protecting my beloved students.
Gerald: Any time, Barty dearest.
Beruze: Let’s stop this gay reunion and get on with the final battle.
Dark Messenger starts playing. Barty draws out some papers.
Barty: That’s right- I am in fact a Paper Master, but before I attack you, Beruze, I shall use Dispel to free Isaac from your evilz.
Cut to Isaac and Orphe. Isaac winks to show he is on the side of good again.
Isaac: Is tonight good for you, Orphe?
Orphe: I thought you’d never ask.
King: Everyone, today we save the world from the evilz of women!
Beruze is losing against the power of Barty and GOOD. He resorts to taking Duke Forst hostage.
Beruze: Hahaha, I shall have the last laugh! Now that I’ve taken this unimportant minor character hostage, no one will dare to harm me!
Beruze makes his escape whilst everyone else stands around.
Camus: Mystic Rose Quartz- Materialise!
Lui: Five pillars, let’s go and end this!
Our heroes stride out of the door. Gerald goes to follow them, but Barty stops him.
Barty: Gerald- supporting characters like us cannot help no matter how insanely powerful we are.
Cut to some dark corridor somewhere- Beruze meets up with Bernard.
Bernard: Beruze, listen to me just one last time. I know you always wanted to be gay, but…
Beruze: You never understood my needs!
The five pillars arrive.
Orphe: Beruze, forget about all that trying to kill us and overthrow the king stuff- we’ll forgive you!
Beruze: I cannot, for I am Bernard’s bastard half-brother, and have led a life of bitterness and hatred!
The five pillars take it in turn to step forward. Beruze equips a gun.
Camus: Love and peace.
Ed: My beloved Orphe showed me that you don’t need to be legitimate to be gay!
Lui: I don’t really like or trust you, but this is the last episode so I must say something encouraging.
Naoji: Your feelings and desires can remake the world!
Orphe: Come over to the side of good!
Beruze: Orphe, I always wanted to sleep with you…
A random blue flame of DESTINY appears.
Orphe: I have all the men I need, but Bernard needs you.
Bernard’s eyes beg for forgiveness, but before he turns to his brother, Beruze shoots some conveniently placed boxes of gunpowder. Everything catches alight.
Beruze: Did I mention that pyromania is one of my flaws?
Bernard walks over to his brother and hugs him.
Bernard: Let’s forget about all that and rejoice in our gay, incestuous love.
Beruze: Brother, you’ve never held me so warmly, but I’m just not ready…
Beruze pushes Bernard away and runs through the flames to an uncertain fate.
Cut to ‘some time later’. The five pillars and Isaac stand in front of the burnt out ruins. Nothing is said before we cut to an audience with the king. The five pillars are present.
King: I would like to thank all of you for your efforts this season. This world has women, but you must not fear, I will do everything in my power to keep this country gay. Oh, and by the way, I’d like to introduce you to my most trusted advisor- yes, that’s right, it’s Gerald.
Everyone is shocked.
Gerald: I learned my HARD GAY skills from the King and Barty themselves.
Cut to various scenes showing that all is well; Isaac back in his café, Bernard leaving in a car, Barty in his office with Eilos.
Barty: Eilos, surely you realised you were too ugly to play an important or effective role?
Cut to the greenhouse- the three newbies are helping the five pillars.
Elmunt: Camus, let’s be Flower Otome together.
Lui: Nicholas, it looks like Camus is going to be busy tonight, care to visit my room later?
Nicholas: Of course, Ludwig-sama- my eyes have been opened to the true path of HARD GAY!
And they all lived happily ever after…until next season, if there is one.
Coming soon to late never- Meine Otome
Rosenstolz is an academy that trains men to become Bishotome- HARD GAY bishounen looking to spread their bishie ways across the country. Follow the adventures of the five pillars as they try to combat a wave of heterosexuality and ugly non-bishiness.
Five pillars: Lui, Orphe, Ed, Naoji and Camus (Mystic Rose Quartz)
Harmonium player: Bernard
Slave master: Beruze
Yohko: Gerald
King’s Bishotome: Barty
Minor meisters: Nicholas, Daniel, Elmunt (Dull Brown Rock)
this stuff’s great!! lol