Akiko is asleep at her home when she hears a voice calling her.
Akiko: I can hear a random voice calling to me- I’d better go outside and see who it is.
A woman, Keiko, is waiting outside.
Keiko: Akiko, come over to me, since this is clearly not a trap.
As Akiko hesitates, black smoke appears and ‘Damn you’ is heard.
(Akiko: That ‘Damn you’ sounded like it came from a villain- I’d better go indoors.)
Akiko goes indoors, where her generic attendants want to know what is wrong.
(Akiko: I’d better pretend everything is fine- I’d hate for them to have too many clues as to my predicament if I get kidnapped later on.)
The attendants leave, whilst Akiko opens the box containing her Magatama charm.
Akiko: Oh no, the Magatama are all cracked! Could this be foreshadowing?
The next day, Masahiro goes to visit Yukinari, who is still supervising the rebuilding.
Masahiro: Hey, Yukinari, I just thought I’d drop in and give you a little screen time.
Yukinari: In return, I shall tell you something that may forward the plot- apparently there is a demoness who spends the nights hammering a nail into a tree at the Kifune shrine.
Masahiro: I had a dream about the Kifune shrine the other night- would you like to hear it?
Yukinari: I think I’ll pass.
Masahiro: Everyone says that- I wonder why?
Masahiro starts to indulge in Flashback Mode anyway, but Mokkun pulls him out of it.
Mokkun: Masahiro, this is no time for Flashback Mode- we need to go and see Seimei.
Masahiro and Mokkun find Seimei.
Seimei: Ah, Masahiro, just the main character I needed to see. I have your next mission for you- there is something strange going on at East Third Street. Since I am already Level 99 and do not need to gain any EXP, why don’t you go in my place?
Masahiro is sent to Akiko’s home.
Masahiro: Good to see you again, Akiko.
Attendant: How dare you address her so informally?
Akiko: You are just a generic- don’t presume to correct named characters. Now, go away so that Masahiro and I can talk.
Attendant: I have a name- it’s Utsumi.
Akiko: I doubt anyone will even remember your name by the end of the episode- now go!
Utsumi leaves.
Akiko: Okay, let’s get down to business. The Magatama Necklace that boosts my magical defence stat is starting to become all cracked and cloudy. Not only that, but I heard a “Damn you” of evil, and my distant relative Keiko is surrounded by an evil aura. When I went to visit her, she said that she would come for me tonight- what if she wants HARD YURI?
Masahiro: Well, I don’t really have any reliable skills, but I’ll do what I can. Level Two Barrier Repair!
Mokkun: It’s a bit weak, but I guess that’ll do for now.
Masahiro and Akiko chat for a little light romantic development before the time comes to go to Keiko’s house.
Masahiro: I’d like to go to Kifune, since it ties in with my dream, but I guess I’d better complete the Keiko mission first and gain some relationship points with Akiko.
As Masahiro and Mokkun continue on their way, an evil aura washes over them and everything turns green.
Masahiro: What’s happening- did someone switch a green filter on?
Keiko appears before them.
Keiko: Don’t get in my way- this is a rare chance for someone like me to get some screen time!
Masahiro: Tremble at my new Level Two Skill- Red Blades!
Keiko: Auto-Reflect!
Masahiro’s red energy beams are reflected back to him.
Mokkun: Barrier! Guren Form!
Mokkun blocks the beams and turns into Guren.
Guren: Clearly this is the work of an evil foreigner.
Keiko disappears and everything returns to normal.
Guren: I guess she took one look at my manly physique and decided against attacking us.
Masahiro: Whatever. Come on, change back into Mokkun and we’ll visit Keiko.
Masahiro and Mokkun finally reach Keiko’s house and talk to her mother.
Mother: It all began when her fiancé broke off the engagement and married someone else. Since then, she has become depressed and ill.
Masahiro: Well, I’m no psychologist, but I’m sure she’ll be cheerful and happy again the instant I exorcise the evil black aura that surrounds her.
Later, Masahiro reports to Seimei.
Masahiro: So anyway, I think that the evil foreign demons possessed her after she became depressed.
Seimei: Try to sound a little more confident- you are a main character, you know.
Masahiro: Why do you have to find fault in everything I do?
Masahiro goes to his room.
Mokkun: You know, one day he’s going to figure out you’re just winding him up to get his Fury bar nice and full.
Seimei: I wouldn’t be so sure- and in the meantime, it saves on the animation budget since we can just reuse the same scene.
(Mokkun: I wish some of that budget had been spent on giving me a better outfit.)
That night, Masahiro and Mokkun head out again, only to bump onto Akiko.
Masahiro: Akiko, what are you doing out here? Just because some evil foreign demons are after you doesn’t mean you should make it easier for them by wandering around outside the barrier.
Akiko: I just wanted to see Keiko, and besides, I knew that I’d meet up with you along the way. You are a high level onmyouji, aren’t you?
Masahiro: Er, well- it’s not so much about my level as it is yours. All of your stats are low- it’s too dangerous to have you in the active party.
Akiko: But if you send me home, I’ll probably get kidnapped whilst you’re busy elsewhere.
Masahiro: I’m sorry, but if that’s what the plot wants, that’s the way we have to play it.
Mokkun: Masahiro, could you try to be a bit more tactful? You’re losing relationship points with Akiko.
Masahiro: Oh, oops. Okay, Akiko, I’ll walk you home and then I’ll go out by myself.
Akiko: Just a second ago, I really wanted to come, but this works just as well for me.
Before they can move, however, the enemy party appears- Keiko, bird demon Gaku and bird demon Shun.
Gaku: Hand over the girl, boy.
Shun: Yes, hand over the girl
Keiko: Hand her over.
Masahiro: Oh yes, like I’m just going to hand her over on your say-so.
Gaku+Shun: In that case, Double Attack!
Masahiro: Barrier!
Masahiro blocks the first attack.
Masahiro: Don’t worry, Akiko- even though I was just complaining about your low stats, I’ll protect you as long as you remain in the back row.
Shun: Dive Attack!
Guren: Flame Blast!
Shun: Damn you! How dare a high level ally be in the hero party?
Guren: How do you think Masahiro managed to reach even Level Two? Flame Blast!
Shun: Nullify!
Shun reflects the Flame Blast.
Guren: Oh no, my generic flame attack is useless!
Gaku: My turn to attack!
Masahiro: Red Needles!
Masahiro knocks Gaku off guard, but Keiko takes the opportunity to snatch Akiko with her hair.
Keiko: Mwahaha, I am able to directly attack people in the back row!
Masahiro: Akiko!
Gaku and Shun knock down Guren and Masahiro.
Shun: Not only will you not get any EXP from this battle, but I’m going to make sure you both end up KO’ed!
Masahiro: Magical Plot Barrier!
A bag of pot pourri that Akiko gave Masahiro earlier starts glowing.
Shun: Oh no, a small bag of scented yew! We’d better retreat.
The enemies retreat, taking Akiko with them.
Masahiro: AKIKOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
To be continued…
Shame you choose to parody this show rather than just blog it normally. Seems like an awful waste of your time.
Funny thing is, it’s my time to ‘waste’; personally I find blogging shows ‘normally’ terribly tedious and not something I want to do (besides, there are plenty of people who already perform that function).
Shame you chose to read my blog, really, seems like an awful waste of your time.
I personally like the parodies, they’re funny. And it’s an interesting twist to the normal summary of events in the anime.
Keep them coming!
Thanks, lynne, it’s always nice to have some positive feedback.
These parodies are so funny, and I don’t think you’d bother writing them (nor would they be funny) for anyone who hated the series. That person above is tripping and clearly has no sense of humor.
I love this. It’s so funny. ^.^
It’s a fun way to make fun of all the random stuff in this anime.