Akidzuki and Kanna commence their Pleasure- Akidzuki using HARD GAY Sword, whilst Kanna relies on BI Gun.
Kanna: I am finally free! Kakunojo has cleansed me of my hatred of BI and need for outdated HARD GAY, and so I am finally free to experience heights of Pleasure I never knew before!
(Akidzuki: You fool, your Gun will never be a match for my Sword!)
Their intense session continues, with both men wounding each other. They fall into the sea.
Meanwhile, Kakunojo continues to give group BI to the people of Ezo, whilst Enomoto uses Evil Stare to activate a powerful Cannon to kill the enemy.
Kakunojo: Individually, you all may have Ezos, but together we can create a BI strong enough to overwhelm our opposition!
Inside Final Boss Castle, Enomoto continues to stare, whilst Brunet talks to Soutetsu.
Brunet: I must say I’m not impressed, Soutetsu- this place is full of Ezos and I’ve barely had a line to say in weeks! As the scriptwriter, I expected more from you.
Soutetsu: I can’t help it if your character design is uninspiring and your BI is poor. You were only in this series to fulfil the requirements of history, anyway.
Brunet: That’s it! I’m out of here.
Brunet departs from the series and goes back to France with little fanfare; meanwhile, a surprisingly dry Kanna staggers back to bask in Kakunojo’s BI aura in his final moments.
(Kanna: Even though it always betrayed me, BI was secretly my true desire- I’m glad I got to have it in the end.)
Later, Ootori talks with Soutetsu.
Ootori: I understand that Katsu was one of your BI lovers, Soutetsu. I hope you’ve broken up with him by now, though, as he is too well endowed to be an ally of Ezo.
Soutetsu remains silent. Elsewhere, Shiranui and Kotoha walk home, only to be ambushed.
Generics: We hate named characters! Die!
Shiranui: Take this! Umbrella and Blowdart attack!
Generic: Aagh! How dare you use an umbrella on me?
Shiranui: Fine, then I’ll give you some Sword.
Shiranui kills the generics with Sword, but Kotoha has already been severely wounded.
Kotoha: Don’t blame Soutetsu for writing the script; he had to do what the studio wanted.
Shiranui: TAYUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Lianged men of Japan take over most of Ezo’s territory, but the final boss castle remains firm, protected by magical red lightning attacks.
(Kuroda: Damn, it’s no good- only a main character can take this on.)
Soutetsu meets up with some old men.
Old Man: We have brought you the interior decorations you ordered in the Ikea sale- five giant cups.
Soutetsu: Thank you- they were too good a bargain to pass up.
The old men begin filling the cups with BI aura, causing the whole castle to glow with BI power.
Kuroda: Damn, I’ve had enough of waiting for the main character! Charge!
Kuroda’s men shoot at the castle, but are unable to penetrate the BI aura; in response, the castle sends out waves of intense Pleasure, incapacitating them. From further away, Akidzuki approaches the castle.
(Akidzuki: What is this Pleasure? My gaydar’s going off like crazy!)
(Kakunojo: I sense a HARD GAY disturbance close by.)
The Final Boss Castle sends out magical tornadoes and tsunamis to defeat the enemy. Only Akidzuki, with his main character immunity, is able to get close.
(Akidzuki: I have replenished my HP and used the last save point outside- now the time has come to challenge Final Boss Castle.)
Akidzuki runs towards Final Boss Castle as it begins to rise up. A giant Lord’s Head appears in the sky and laughs evilly.
To be continued…
