Tuesday Rumble: July 3rd

We begin this week with some shameless self-indulgence, as I list the figures I would like to get.

• Kureha: despite the unfortunate association with Shining Wind, I cannot help but want this.
• Himawari: I didn’t want this at first and it’s not normally the style of figure I like, but she’s just so brightly coloured, cute and energetic.
• Shenhua: the big ears are distracting but I love the costume and pose.
• Fasalina: Okay, so the boobs are totally unrealistic but I must have it- nothing shall come between me and getting this figure.

Emma parody dub: extracts

With the news that Emma has been licensed and will be released in sub only boxsets, it becomes clear that there is room for something else on the DVDs- a parody dub. Let’s take a look at what those crazy US companies might just include.

William: Yo, what’s up, Emma my girl?

Emma: Yo Bill, not much. Wanna hang out down at Crystal Palace later?

William: Sure thing, honey.

Hakim: Discount sale at Kwik-E-Mart!

Eleanor: This is such a bummer- my Bill has eyes for some maid!

Annie: Let’s teach her a lesson, boss.

Eleanor: Right on!

Bokurano alternate universe spin-offs

Welcome to a new moneymaking scheme designed to milk as much out of Bokurano as possible! In each spin-off, we focus on what might have happened in the lives of the characters if they had never become Zearth pilots.

• Waku: experience the thrills and spills as he hones his soccer skills in a desperate attempt to get into the major leagues. Will he ever play in the World Cup?
• Kodama: Now several years older, Kodama is the ruthless owner of his father’s company. Can his cruel streak ever be softened by his beautiful secretary?
• Daichi: Join him as he struggles to support his siblings through an increasingly intense schedule of assorted part-time jobs, all the while trying to get an education.
• Nakama: Can she get her fledgling needlework business off the ground, or will it all end in disaster?
• Kako: Now an adult, Kako is a lackey for the Yakuza- can he break out of the criminal underworld, or is this his ultimate fate?
• Chizu: Also an adult, Chizu must struggle with bringing up her child as a single mother whilst working in a police department designed to help women who have been the victim of rape.
• Moji: Explore the love triangle between him and his childhood friends as the trio grow up and find themselves at the same high school.
• Maki: Experience her adventures as she and her little brother get into all sorts of scrapes and mischief.
• Kirie: In the future, Kirie has put his past behind him and reinvented himself as a suave and successful playboy, but will the truth of his school days catch up with him?
• Komo: Join her as she attends music college and gives it her all in an increasingly difficult set of competitions.
• Anko: Anko has finally managed to become an idol, but is the life she dreamed of all it is cut out to be?

Shining Tears X Wind 7

Souma arranges a schedule for TANK.

“Ah, this is the life- two women to service me and I don’t even need to stir from my oversized chair.”

Somehow, Souma has earned his own office.

He’s even up to the level of mediating disputes.

Even so, it pays to have a backup job, such as playing Naruto’s understudy.

Who fancies some giant Cannon?

“This Sword is absolutely not here to compensate for any Ezo I may or may not have.”

“Oh, okay, maybe it is.”

Shinkyoku Soukai Polyphonica 2

“If you won’t join us for group Pleasure, I’ll give you a painful hand job!”

Random Thoughts: Akidzuki

This week we get up close and personal with Akidzuki from Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto! Akidzuki, did you ever feel that you were short-changed as the main character due to a general lack of dialogue and development?

Of course I do, although I was lucky enough to earn myself some fangirls anyway, so even though my part in the series wasn’t much of a stretch beyond the action scenes, it wasn’t a total loss in terms of raising my profile. Now that the series is over, I might as well admit that scriptwriter Soutetsu did offer me a bigger role, but only if I promised to give him BI- which of course I wasn’t prepared to do.

We know that much of the series saw you looking for a HARD GAY partner- why didn’t you give in to BI more easily?

I did have BI a couple of times over the course of the series, but it always seemed to end in disaster. In the end, I think it’s best to stick to your principles; even if it means you have to go without in the short term, it’s better in the long run.

How can you justify the ridiculousness of the series finale?

Soutetsu was always one to leave turning in the next episode’s script until the last minute, and in the end I think he was just casting about for ideas that would fill a few pages, regardless of how much sense they made. I just showed up and played the part I was given to get paid- you’ll have to talk to Soutetsu if you want to know more.

What are your plans now that you’ve set sail for Europe?

To get as much HARD GAY as possible, of course- and maybe star in another historical series if I can.

And finally, what do you think of plans to create IrohaWarriors and Iroha Tactics games in RPG Maker?

I’m in favour of it, although I hope I get a decent role.

This Week in Anime

Bank of Scotland becomes moneylender of choice for the modern anime character.

Domino’s Pizza launches counterattack against Pizza Hut.

How about a lovely cup of tea?

Apples make their move against humanity.

Persimmons patiently await their turn in the spotlight.

Anime World Tour: Angelic Layer/Chobits

Welcome to the world of Angelic Layer, the near future with a twist. Buy your own angel and accessories and compete in Angelic Layer tournaments, then let your imagination set the limits as you telepathically control in a fight for victory! Feel the intense pride and honour of beating 4-11 year olds at a children’s game! You know you want to!

Alternatively, travel a little further into the future to avoid the Angelic Layer craze and pick up on even more advanced technology in the form of the persocom. She looks like a girl, but she’s packed with high end operating systems- you’ll never have to choose between laptops and women again!

OST spotlight: Victorian Romance Emma Second Act- Memories

If you liked the first Emma OST, then this one is a must, offering as it does more of the same. With its range of melodic piano and beautiful folk and Celtic style themes, Emma is always easy on the ears, and even the tendency to remix the main themes cannot detract from its quality.

Memorable tracks: Silhouette of a Breeze (Celtic version), Curiosity, Rondo of Lilybell (Harpsichord version), Molders, Rondo of Lilybell

Mini-editorial: Are paid for download services ever going to catch on?

Services such as iTunes may have revolutionised the legal music downloading scene, but when it comes to anime, can it do the same? Will we one day eschew the humble DVD and its successors for hard drives filled with anime, all obtained legitimately- or is that just never going to happen?

For the more hardcore of anime fans, the prospect of paying to download must surely jar with the knowledge that if they look hard enough, they can probably get much the same thing for free, and probably several months earlier at that. Aside from those motivated by conscience, curiosity, or fans who remain blissfully unaware of the shadier side of “acquisition”, there may well be little genuine, long-term interest in such services.

Even those of us who are willing and able to buy legitimate copies of our favourite series may simply not be satisfied with just having copies of the file sitting on our computers. If you’re going to hand over money, there’s a desire to be given something tangible in return, which is where DVDs come in. Even now, I prefer to have an actual CD than a mere downloaded album, and the same goes for DVDs- if I’m paying for it, I want something I can hold in my hand, preferably with some nice cover art and an insert booklet to go with it. Yes, there are issues of storage once the collection gets too massive, but that’s something that can be dealt with one way or another.

Harem of the week: Isurugi (801 TTS Airbats)

His secret shame was that he was an otaku, but when he got transferred to an all-girl squadron, none of the lovely ladies seemed to care.

Harem

Miyuki Haneda: One of the two main rivals, tries to act like a demure lead girl but can easily roused to argue or compete with Mitaka.

Arisa Mitaka: The hot-head and second of the two main rivals, not afraid to say her piece.

Yoko: The young and slightly eccentric one.

Sakura: The older woman and calmest of the group.

Fashion Police: Maru

Apologies for the small, low-resolution picture, but give the state of Maru’s dress, the Fashion Police simply could not spend any more time looking for better photographic evidence of his crimes. A prince of a distant land who somehow ends up living in a forest, Maru may own the opposition when it comes to his archery skills, but his dress leaves a lot to be desired. Aside from the fact that he is effectively half-naked, the baggy shorts are most unflattering, and the mask he occasionally wears should have been throw away when Halloween was over. The item bags aren’t exactly high fashion either, but at least it explains where he puts his items, a change from most RPG characters.

Fashion sense: F

Amusing Search Terms

bishounen troll: beauty and the beast in one package

ＡＺＵＲＥ Coherent: A coherent wave of azure light.

final fantasy 7 yuffie materia annoying: Isn’t it just?

gender bender doujin: Always with the doujins.

Romance of the Three Kingdoms Oil Painti: You can’t move for oil paintings on this blog.

saiga rifle performance: His rifle performance is pretty solid.

“keep me hanging on” cicada: Cicadas can now be trained to chirp out songs.

final fantasy 7 hi res npc: high resolution NPCs? Shouldn’t you be more concerned with the main characters first?

mai otome yuri scene: “Shizuru bent down and lightly nipped Natsuki’s ear. ‘Stop working already,’ she huskily whispered into her lover’s ear, ‘and come and show me a good time, hot stuff.'”

novastorm historical setting: Join the Novastorm blog as it goes back in time on an exciting adventure!

spiky character Shonen Onmyoji red hair: Suzaku?

Rumble fight hacks: er, yes…

jouya kanou: ???

gay azure: Azure is a colour, I don’t know if it can be gay. “Sorry, red, but I’m attracted to other shades of blue.”

gay chibi: There are chibis for everything.

BeyBlade Friendship between Tokyo &: There is no Tokyo! Only America.

mai otome doujins: I’m only interested in the fat cat ones.

ANIME GAY TV: A whole channel devoted to HARD GAY.

lesbian yuri: What other kind of yuri is there?

beyblades season 3 kai: You write one article about Beyblade, and suddenly everyone thinks you’re an expert on it.

what busou renkin character are you?: Generic Bystander #3.

spoiler for episode 26 of vampire prince: If you mean Vampire Princess Miyu, then [XXXX] turns out to be the villain.