Tuesday Rumble: March 4th

Simoun DS
As we’ve seen recently, there’s a game for everything, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t have room for more. One significant omission is a Simoun game for DS, a combination of dating sim and action game. You take on the role of a young sibylla who has just been assigned to Chor Tempest; off-duty you can chat to your fellow sibylla and try to build up relationship points with them, and then when the time comes for battle, you and your chosen pair can take to the skies. Your relationship score will affect your stamina in battle, whilst special Ri Maajon moves can be drawn with the stylus, unleashing the true power of the Simoun! Does anyone have the drawing power to manage the legendary Emerald Ri Maajon? Find out when Simoun DS hits the streets!

Shion no Ou 16

Man…

…or woman?

“It was fun while it lasted, but people are starting to give me funny looks.”

“I will teach you what it means to be a man…”

“…through constant HARD GAY!”

“It will hurt at first, but in time it will become pleasurable.”

“Just watch what I do, and you’ll soon pick up the technique.”

“Now, prepare to feast your eyes on my Zhuge Liang!”

Dragons’ Den: The Kaiji Gambling Experience
Welcome to a new feature based on the TV program of the same name, in which anime characters try to market their great idea to five fat cats of anime! President Aria made his fortune in the gondola industry of Neo Venezia, and is now CEO of a well-known company. Mikoto started her business in the capital of Wind Bloom, and is now a trusted advisor to the queen, with business partners scattered across the world. The Admiral’s first business venture was to invest in a Chinese restaurant, but a meteor threat to Earth saw her buy shares in ground and space based defence technology, which she currently administers with her protégé “The General” (aka Shogun). Mr Tibbs started his career as a tea cat for the bank, but his sound grasp of finance saw him rise up the ranks until he became one of their most prominent managers. Finally, The Cardinal is the world’s most powerful fat cat, with a wide range of business interests that ensure that he has a paw in every pie (often literally, depending on his appetite). These five cats represent some heavyweight investment clout in every sense of the word, but is any deal attractive enough to get them to roll off their backsides and shake paws with a budding entrepreneur?

The latest entrepreneurs to brave the Den are business partners Tonegawa and Kaji, who are looking to sell what they call “the Kaiji Gambling Experience”. Events-based companies are notoriously hard to work with, so will they have that something special the Dragons are looking for?

Tonegawa: Greetings, Dragons, today we have a unique business proposition for you- the Kaiji Gambling Experience! Our company offers a range of games aimed at those in deep debt, all designed to give them the hope of paying off their creditors. So far we have released Restricted Rock-Paper-Scissors, the Human Derby and E-Card, all of which Kaiji here has participated in.

Cardinal: Ah yes, I’m familiar with those events.

Tonegawa: Our hope is that, with your investment, we can expand the scope of our company, perhaps bringing out more games and of course reaching more people.

Mikoto: Well, debt is at an all-time high in Windbloom, so I have to admit that the market is there for it, but wouldn’t it be better to focus on selling one product rather than diversifying so much that you overstretch yourself?

Kaiji: Each game naturally leads onto the next- it’s like one huge product, really.

Aria: Punyu? [Could you explain these games to us in more detail?]

Tonegawa: Of course.

Having made his initial pitch, Tonegawa offers the Dragons the detail they need by showing them a range of video clips.

Aria: Punyu! [This looks rather dangerous and inhumane, so I’m out.]

Mr Tibbs: I’m not sure the bank and I really want to solve the problem of debt, so I’m out as well.

Two Dragons are already out! Can Tonegawa and Kaiji persuade the remaining three that they really are worth investing in?

Admiral: The thing that worries me is the high death rate- surely it damages your long-term profits to decimate the market?

Cardinal: Now, now, casualties are only to be expected. Tonegawa, I love your idea and I’d like to make you an offer.

Tonegawa: We’d be happy to have you on board.

Tonegawa’s games have appealed to the Cardinal’s ruthless streak, landing him with an offer from arguably the most powerful Dragon of the group. Well done.

This Week in Anime

Now presenting- the Turn A moustache.

Young Haruhi cosplayer explains how she got the look just right,

Forget Starbucks- all the cool people are going to Starbobs.

“I support bananas!”

“This is how you show those apples who’s boss!”

These days it’s possible to buy anything- even your own personal loli.

Is this Shaman King or Ren and Stimpy?

Grapes prepare to escape the fruit bowl.

“We aren’t HARD GAY, we’re just experimenting!”

“Yeah, and I’m actually reading Go strategy, not sneakily looking at porn.”

“Don’t be afraid to embrace your HARD GAY side!”

President Aria invests in the bowling industry.

“The discerning man drinks Boozer.”

Prepare for the brand new series- Athrun no Go!

No, not more Harvest Moon!

“I have mastered the game of Fantavision, and enlarged my Kadoya!”

Dog counsellor proves popular.

Flash Game Review: Eyezmaze
I first discovered Eyezmaze when someone started a forum thread on the Grow Cube game, and from then on, I was addicted. The Grow games remain my favourite offering on the site- the basic premise behind all of them is that you add components in a certain order so that they all reach their maximum level- a seemingly simple task that can sometimes be fiendishly difficult. The other games are of the more straightforward colour-matching/catch falling objects class, although the Chronon puzzle remains memorable for its seeming impossibility.

Reverse Harem of the week: Himeno Awayuki (Pretear)
Yet another in a long line of destined magical girls, Himeno not only became the legendary Pretear, but also gained the services of seven Leafe Knights, a group of bishies and shota whom she had to “prete” (fuse) with in order to use magical powers. Any excuse for it, eh?

Harem
Hayate: The brooding main love interest- tall, dark, handsome and taciturn.
Sasame: The carefree and laid back one, who harbours his own secrets.
Go: The straightforward strong man of the group.
Kei: The vain, effeminate narcissist.
Mannen: Oldest of the shota, the cool and pragmatic one.
Hajime: The second shota, the unmemorable, bookish type.
Shin: The quintessential blonde shota.

Rivals
Mawata: One of Himeno’s two stepsisters; the quiet, troubled one who wanders around angsting.
Mayune: The other stepsister; a comic relief character who continually tries to seduce the male characters.
Takiko: The “Princess of Disaster” and previous Pretear, with romantic links to both Hayate and Sasame.

The making of Azure Flame: Tuesday Rumble
In an oddly circular turn of events, in this Tuesday Rumble we will discuss how Tuesday Rumble is created. The first stage is generating ideas, which occurs through random trains of thought, MSN conversations and throwaway comments on other blogs. These ideas are all written down in a special Word document, which also lists the various articles in the right order for consistency.

Each week, the top ideas for each section are transferred to the current Tuesday Rumble, in the following order-

“Main article”- random ideas based on the world of anime and manga. I used to do two per week, but now it’s down to one.

Screencap parody- based on whatever screencaps I saved to the appropriate folder

Short parody/Random Thoughts/Dragons’ Den

This Week in Anime

HARD GAY/HARD YURI Corners/Anime or Game World Tour/Flash Game Review

OST Spotlight (not currently featuring)

Mini-rant/editorial

In Your Reflection/Harem of the Week

Fashion Police (not currently featuring)

The making of Azure Flame/Amusing Search Terms+Spam

Now the individual sections can be worked on over the weekend or on Monday and Tuesday, until the finished product is ready to be released. Sadly, tiredness, lack of time and the dreaded lack of internet can all conspire to make sure that some weeks have to go without a Tuesday Rumble.