Tuesday Rumble: June 10th

Forget the DS- how about the Five Screen?

Are two screens just not enough? Perhaps you want a bit more challenge when it comes to keeping track of onscreen events? Then why not invest in the new Five Screen? Arranged in the shape of an open-topped cube, the Five Screen unfolds to reveal all of its screens, each of which can be configured to be a touch screen. Use screens to control your characters, keep track of enemy stats, view overworld maps and much, much more! The insanity just keeps mounting up when you try to play anything on the Five Screen!

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei: the lost chapters

Sensei: Class, today we will be visiting all of your homes for some long overdue spring-cleaning!

The class visits various homes, chucking out everyone’s personal belongings.

Kafka: Sensei, why are we doing this?

Sensei: We need to minimise! Throw out all these useless belongings and start anew!

Chiri picks up something.

Chiri: But this might be useful someday!

Sensei: Zetsubou shita! The society that hangs onto clutter that might be useful has left me in despair!

• Keeping clothes that don’t fit you even though they’ll be out of fashion by the time you lose weight.
• Picking up free gifts and discarded items in case they might be useful at home.
• Keeping spare parts for a car or appliance you got rid of years ago.
• Keeping toys your kids have grown out of in case your friends have children.

*NEW* Anime Big Brother

As Necromancer and the internet-departed Hopeless know, Tuesday Rumble leeches some of its best ideas from random conversations with others, which is why credit goes to Hanners for this new feature. This week we’ll be meeting the first bunch of housemates, and even if, like me, you care little or nothing for the real show, I promise this will be worth the read.

Lawrence: A travelling merchant and trader, Lawrence’s desire to make a profit will no doubt manifest when he meets his fellow housemates.

Horo: Known as Horo the Wise, this wolf-girl has several lifetimes of experience and the ability to transform into a giant wolf, but will her insatiable love of apples endear her to the audience?

Kuu-chan: An ancient fox who has forgotten his or her true gender, Kuu is powerful, capricious and bound to shake things up amongst the housemates.

Allison: A young pilot with boundless energy and a definite crush on Wil- but will their extended time in close proximity enable him to finally grasp it?

Wil: An intelligent and bookish young man who might just be pulled out of his shell in the Big Brother house.

Aoki: Having taken some time off from his important work at Section Nine Mark II, will Aoki be able to put aside his dedication to reports to integrate with the housemates?

Watanuki: A young man with the ability to see spirits and a rare talent for cooking.

Doumeki: Watanuki’s schoolmate, stoic to the point of being little more than rock.

Lelouch: An ambitious young man with a unique ability to control others around him- if he can use it successfully on such an unusual group of housemates.

Heat: A member of the Embryon Tribe from Digital Devil Saga’s Junkyard, Heat has a tendency to transform into a demon when angered or just hungry.

Amatsuki 5

“…all of it kinky.”

“But sadly it all contravenes broadcast regulations, so we have to wait until later.”

“Are you ready to see my most intimate secrets?”

“This takes all the fun out of guessing, I know.”

“We can’t have HARD GAY!”

“Cross-dressing is the norm around here.”

“As is castration.”

I have to admit there are some conveniences I’d rather go without.

Er, yes…

“My knowledge of arcane Pleasure techniques has made me a sought after lover.”

“Of course, without adequate time to prepare, I might damage my partner in the heat of the moment.”

“Even though, I consider myself a master of Pleasure.”

“…just as long as my Liang is in perfect condition.”

This Week in Anime

“Watermelon, do exactly as I say or I’ll smash you with this stick!”

Shinichiro’s mother’s secret apple habit is exposed.

…but which is better? There’s only one way to find out…

“So many apples…”

“Normally you’re in and out of the bedroom in about twenty minutes.”

Phone sex, Hyper Self Pleasure and DOG all in one go?

“I’ve done it! I’ve created the ultimate cat!”

What more can I say?

Even Sunao has fallen to the apple curse.

“Oh come, there’s no way I can service this many men in one evening.”

“Hang on a moment, I’ll call Akagi and tell him there’s a match on.”

“Sir, we have a Very Close Alert!”

“Give me more details!”

“I can’t- that’s all the monitor is telling me!”

Mutant purple lemons introduced at the latest Fruit Conference.

“Cross-dressing forever!”

Oranges are pros at draining the energy of nearby life forms.

“At last- the perfect apple has been selected!”

“Mmm, crunchy.”

The Jewellery Channel is still popular even in the future.

Classic PC games: Hocus Pocus

A platformer from the mid-90s, Hocus Pocus sees you take on the role of the eponymous wizard as you attempt to save the dimensions from evil and earn enough kudos to impress both your elders and your sweetheart. Set over four episodes (the first of which is shareware) of nine levels each, Hocus Pocus is all about the usual platformer content of collecting items, earning bonuses, defeating enemies and of course facing ridiculously oversized bosses.

Although all the environments are similar (being palette-swapped mystical castles based on different themes such as Egyptian, jungle or classical European), the game is good fun throughout, although there is something of an imbalance between difficulty levels (in easy mode, you lose 4% of health per hit, but in normal this triples to 12%, and in hard it is 16%). The background music is generally catchy, making this a nice little game that will entertain beginners and experienced players alike.

Mini-editorial: Is it a blogger’s ‘duty’ to write about everything they see/watch/play?

An odd thought occurred to me some weeks ago- since I go to the trouble of maintaining my blog, should I try to make it as complete as possible by reviewing every single game, anime and manga series that passes my way? Should I make my review archive as complete as it can possibly be instead of not reviewing something because everyone else watched it years ago and I can’t bring anything new to the discussion (or even admit that I only recently caught up on it?). Obviously, it’s up to me to decide what to write on here, but does anyone else get caught up in this feeling of having a ‘duty’ to express one’s opinions whenever and wherever possible? Or is it good to enjoy a series from time to time without worrying too much about what you’re going to write about it afterwards?

Harem of the week: Tate Yuuichi (Mai-HiME manga)

Elevated in importance in the manga, Tate became the Key to releasing the power of two HiMEs.

Harem

Mai: The impossibly large breasted main HiME who ends up living with Tate.

Natsuki: The tsundere HiME who ends up living with the others after her dorm is wrecked, resulting in a high friction ménage à trios.

Shiho: A PRINCESS who turns up later in the manga.