Anime Olympics
With the real Olympics having just finished, it’s time for our favourite anime characters to step up to the plate and have a go at their own unique set of events. Highlight include-
- Trap Race: how fast can you dress as a member of the opposite sex?
- Harem relay: harem members race around the track in an attempt to get the object of their desire.
- Fat cat rollathon: fat cats roll towards their food bowls.
- Metal Diving: contestants must swim through Real Drive’s virtual reality.
- Mobile Suit race: how quickly can one Gundam pilot destroy generic mobile suits?
- Strip Fighting: high school girls battle in an attempt to see who can end up in their bra and panties the fastest.
- Swimsuit competition: obligatory.
- Special Attack Contest: who can shout the name of their attack the fastest? Who has the most ridiculous special move?
Seen any other events at the Anime Olympics? Be sure to tell us all about them!
Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei: the lost chapters
Sensei enters the classroom, more depressed than ever.
Kafka: Sensei, what’s wrong?
Sensei: I went to see my favourite actor last night!
Kafka: Isn’t that a good thing? Getting to meet your hero in the flesh!
Sensei: No- he was old!
Chiri: Meeting your heroes is always a disappointment.
Sensei: It’s not just that- he was past his prime!
Sensei gets out a noose.
Matoi: No, Sensei, don’t die without me!
Sensei: This isn’t for me! This is to kill off all actors before they get old and start losing their looks and talent! Zetsubou shita! This world where things continue past their best has left me in despair!
- Celebrities who become old and ugly.
- TV and book series that go on for so long that even their greatest fans don’t like them anymore.
- Favourite items that become old and unusable.
- Relatives who become too old and feeble to be useful.
- Old money that isn’t legal tender anymore.
Amtsuki 13
A mountain giving birth to a fox? Even I’m not that twisted.
“He was a real Countdown addict- he just couldn’t help it!”
“They specify the type of Pleasure that they want.”
Really?
“I am God! Monty Python style!”
“Now, are you an old man with a beard?”
Oh no, someone’s cracked the camera!
Ginshu has Pleasure with some giant Buddha statues from Gantz.
“Wait- are these leftover butterflies from the ending of Iroha?”
Now the world is falling apart!
Dragons’ Den
Welcome to our regular feature based on the TV program of the same name, in which anime characters try to market their great idea to five fat cats of anime! President Aria made his fortune in the gondola industry of Neo Venezia, and is now CEO of a well-known company. Mikoto started her business in the capital of Wind Bloom, and is now a trusted advisor to the queen, with business partners scattered across the world. The Admiral’s first business venture was to invest in a Chinese restaurant, but a meteor threat to Earth saw her buy shares in ground and space based defence technology, which she currently administers with her protégé “The General” (aka Shogun). Mr Tibbs started his career as a tea cat for the bank, but his sound grasp of finance saw him rise up the ranks until he became one of their most prominent managers. Finally, The Cardinal is the world’s most powerful fat cat, with a wide range of business interests that ensure that he has a paw in every pie (often literally, depending on his appetite). These five cats represent some heavyweight investment clout in every sense of the word, but is any deal attractive enough to get them to roll off their backsides and shake paws with a budding entrepreneur?
Hello and welcome to a special behind the scenes edition of Dragons’ Den. Following the first season of this fat cat rip-off of a popular BBC programme, we’ve decided to keep things fresh by introducing a new Dragon to the team! Whilst The Admiral departs for the world of book deals, speaking tours and cheap publicity, she will be replaced in the Den by Nyanko-sensei, who, whilst technically not a fat cat, looks enough like one to be let in. Nyanko-sensei is a contract expert who made his fortune in the supernatural business, and whose sharp observations and ruthless manner make him a formidable businessman. Expect to see Nyanko-sensei debut in the Den next week!
This Week in Anime
Don’t eat it- strawberries only lead to trouble!
Note the basket of fruit in the background- only a seasoned pro would spot those.
HORSE- coming indoors for your convenience.
Nonetheless, the dedicated HORSEman stills prefers to have it outside whilst stark naked.
Get those shiny strawberries away from me!
Hidamari Sketch’s rubber duck content mysteriously doubles.
“Should we really eat these strawberries of doom?”
In the world of live-action, lemons prove to be troublesome in The Scorpion King 2: Crappy Sequels Make Us Money.
Even Yoshinoya-sensei is getting in on the lemon act.
“You know they’re dangerous!”
“Aagh, reality is being warped by strawberries!”
This man is desperate to impress the food critics.
Strawberries of doom…
…followed by pizza (Hut)!
This is not a combination to be taken lightly, you fool!
What a cruel fate for a noble apple.
Flash Game Review: Chicken and Egg
I was actually looking for a different game where you have to breed chickens whilst making sure you don’t put two cocks together lest disaster occurs (if anyone knows the game I’m talking about, please link to it), but my top search result was Chicken and Egg. The object of the game is to move eggs of the same colour next to each other so that they will hatch, but naturally there are all sorts of obstacles and only a limited number of clicks per level. Although not as hard overall as other games of this type, Chicken and Egg is still a fun mix of brains and timing that will pass a few minutes now and then.
Harem of the week: Rentarou (Futakoi Alternative)
In a world with the same twins but a whole different setting to the original, Rentarou ‘Nidame’ balanced running his detective agency and fighting giant squid with meeting beautiful twins.
Sara and Sojyu: The main girls and Rentarou’s assistants- he may not know much about their past or their home life, but he knows that the three of them belong together.
Kira and Yura: Daughters of a local yakuza boss, they masquerade as “Gothloli Mask”, a crime fighting duet.
Rara and Ruru: Juvenile secret agents with some explosive moves.
Ai and Mai: The seductive older women.
Kaoruko and Sumireko
Ui and Koi
They made a sequel to The Scorpion King? Good grief.
>> Relatives who become too old and feeble to be useful.
Callous!
>> TV and book series that go on for so long that even their greatest fans don’t like them anymore.
School Rumble! Although I believe I read the other week that it had finally finished, and it was a bizarre cop out ending. Highly amusing if true.
>> Ginshu has Pleasure with some giant Buddha statues from Gantz.
I’m not quite sure what the animators were aiming for there, but it looks more like someone’s scribbled over the image with chalk. And the image 3 down from that looks like they’re having codec problems…
IKnight: if we ever needed it, this is proof that they’ll make a sequel to anything, although they at least had the sense to make it direct-to-video. Fortunately I didn’t watch the movie myself; wasting precious hours of my life on the first one was bad enough.
Neriya: The callousness is purely from writing in character- really!
If School Rumble has finally ended, I’m tempted to read the rest, partly out of masochism, partly out of a desire to maul the last batch of chapters.
The last screenshot may have actually been a media player error, but since one of the characters seemed to be reacting to it, I assumed it was meant to be there.
Edit: oh god, I just saw the first chapter of School Rumble Z was released! I’m losing the will to live…