Ginga Densetsu Weed parody: episode nine

Rocket talks to Weed about the dogs they are heading across the (Japanese) Alps to recruit.

Rocket: Their leader is an impetuous yet ugly one year old named Kyoushiro- you may recognise his name from the OP. He also conveniently has 50 followers, random ugly dogs (probably brown) who shall add to our numbers.

Weed: Surely an important character, then- I can’t wait to meet him.

Cut to Reika, Hiro, John etc as they run through the blizzard.

John: Hiro, you must take Reika away or she’ll just get captured again. Of course that means we won’t have your ball-ripping skills in the upcoming battle, but we’ll need someone to survive and explain the situation to our heroes.

Hiro: John, you are a God Mode dog- you can’t really expect to die here.

John: I fear someone has hacked my stats and disabled God Mode.

Hiro and Reika go off in a different direction. John’s three travelling companions introduce themselves.

Lefty: I’m Lefty, and these two are Tomi and Roshi. We’re honoured to serve with you today.

John: Thanks for filling in the empty slots in my party. You’ll be of great use as cannon fodder, and now that I know your names I can call them out as you get massacred.

Hougen’s forces catch up with John’s party and battle commences (play DW-style music). John kills many faceless minions, whilst Lefty and the others stand around and do little- at least until Lefty is pinned down.

John: Lefty!

Lefty: Don’t worry about me, I knew I was expendable from the start!

Lefty is killed. John’s Fury gauge rises.

The battle continues; John, Tomi and Roshi are overpowered!

Tomi: They shall kill us soon, but we have just enough to speak some final words that will spur John on!

Tomi and Roshi are killed. John’s Fury gauge maxes out, but before he can start fighting back, Hougen arrives.

John: Hougen, you bastard! I’ll take you on in a one-on-one Dynasty Warriors 4 style duel whilst your minions stand aside and watch!

Hougen: Do you think I’m stupid enough to start that kind of battle? Minions, kill him!

The minions start attacking John, but the residue of his God Mode ensures that he doesn’t die despite massive blood loss. Meanwhile, Hiro and Reika have reached Weed’s party.

Hiro: I’m badly injured, but since a woman can’t be trusted to be useful in a MAN’s show, I shall enter Exposition Mode.

Hiro updates Weed and the others on the situation.

Weed: My father is trapped, and now John’s in trouble…I may only be a level 13 youngster, but I must go and help him all by myself.

Weed slips away whilst no one is looking. Back to the battle, and John is still miraculously clinging onto life- even getting impaled by a tree branch won’t finish off a God Mode dog.

Hougen: Just start pleading for mercy and your pain will end…well, okay, no it won’t, but it’ll be more satisfying for me.

John: Do you think a legendary character like me would ever swallow my pride for an evilz boss as ugly as you?

Hougen: That does it! I’m sick of being called ugly when it’s all the animators’ fault!

Hougen savages John before leaving him for dead. The forces of EVILZ withdraw.

Cut to Weed’s camp. The other dogs realise that Weed has left, and quickly go after him. They catch up just as Weed discovers John’s dying body (yep, after all that and he’s still alive).

John: Ah good, everyone’s here, just in time to hear my dying words.

Weed: John!

John: Once, I thought I was an invincible God Mode dog, but now my time has come. My only hope is that Gin will be rescued and Hougen defeated.

Hiro: John, your sacrifice hasn’t accomplished much, so to make you feel better, I’m now going to lie to you. Gin is safe, Hougen’s forces have been decimated, and right now we’re about to break Hougen himself.

John: Ah, good, I can rest in peace.

John finally breathes his last. Join us next time for more blood, death, and pedigree chum doggy chews (okay, so there probably won’t be any chews, but you never know).

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One Response to Ginga Densetsu Weed parody: episode nine

  1. Evian says:

    Hougen: That does it! I’m sick of being called ugly when it’s all the animators’ fault!

    Too true, too true! ^^

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