Utawarerumono parody: episode 2


Hakuoro here. Recently I have had the good fortune to end up living in the home of two very lovely young ladies- surely a good sign that my harem acquisition will go smoothly. Before I can set my sights further afield, however, I must earn the trust and respect of the local villagers- and what better way to do that than handle their tiger problem?

Hakuoro accompanies the villagers on their quest to rebuild the shrine.

Teoro: Don’t feel you have to come with us- you should just rest at home.

(Hakuoro: It’s no fun resting there when Eruruu and Aruruu aren’t home.)

Hakuoro: Oh no, I’m happy to help.

Hakuoro helps to repair the shrine, before spending the rest of the day befriending the villagers.

(Hakuoro: Eruruu is coming along nicely, but Aruruu is still too shy. No matter, I like a challenge.)

That night, the Mutikapa attacks again. Hakuoro fights her, until she runs off when it starts raining.

The next day, Hakuoro talks to the villagers.

Hakuoro: Everyone, I am ready to get rid of the Mutikapa. Through a series of complex deductions, I have realised that she is weak against water, and so I will put my own life on the line to lure her to a covered pool.

Villagers: You can’t do this alone, let us help.

(Hakuoro: Of course, you are free to put your lives on the line and thus increase my chances of survival.)

Teoro: We barely know each other, but I feel we have a unique bond that only main characters can share. I will come with you to lure out the Mutikapa.

(Hakuoro: I don’t want to ‘bond’ with a man, but the fool will be useful- and since he’s both married and unattractive, I need not worry about him stealing my women.)

Later that day, Eruruu approaches Hakuoro.

Eruruu: Even though you have only just arrived in our village, you already feel like family. Please don’t risk yourself.

Hakuoro: Eruruu, it is for your sake that I must make this village a safe place.

Hakuoro’s plan is put into place. Generic villagers disguise a water-filled trap, whilst Hakuoro and Teoro go to lure the Mutikapa out.

Hakuoro: Should we be worrying about any sort of tiger conservation laws?

Teoro: Not at all, just assume it’s an evil that needs to be destroyed.

Hakuoro and Teoro lead the Mutikapa to the trap. Once weakened by the water, she is easily killed.

Everyone returns to the village, only to discover that Aruruu is missing. She is later found with a Mutikapa cub.

Villagers: What should we do? This thing will grow up into a dangerous tiger.

(Hakuoro: This could be the perfect opportunity to win Aruruu’s affections!)

Hakuoro: Now that I have earned your respect, please defer to me in all things. I believe we should let Aruruu keep the cub.

Aruruu is happy.

That evening, the villagers celebrate. Hakuoro plays with the cub, now named Mukuru.

(Hakuoro: This should get Aruruu to see me as a kindly man who loves all beasts, even whilst the villagers love me for killing one.)

Aruruu: Daddy…

(Hakuoro: Could this be? Is she really calling me Daddy? What a splendid day’s work!)

Hakuoro: Yes, Aruruu, you may call me Daddy any time.

Tusukuru: That reminds me, you need a name. How about Hakuoro?

Eruruu: Our father’s name…

(Hakuoro: Perfect! Thanks, old woman!)

Hakuoro: I am honoured and gratified to be given such a name.

Hakuoro has secured his hold on both a village and a fledgling harem! Can he improve on his success in the next episode?

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