Utawarerumono parody episode 5


Hakuoro here. Thanks to my defeat of Sasante, I now have control of a larger base of operations, but although the first stage has been successful, the campaign is far from over. With my conquests bringing me only generic warriors, I must forge ahead in search of named female characters to add to my harem…

Benawi goes to visit Emperor Inkara.

Inkara: Benawi, how could you let those main characters kill my brother? Now I am the fattest of them all!

Benawi: I’m sorry, sir, but thanks to your pink robe and afro, I just can’t take you seriously.

Inkara: How dare you insult me!? If you’re not careful, I’ll let you go over to the side of good!

Meanwhile, in the village, Mukuru has developed a healthy appetite.

Aruruu: Mukuru is getting bigger all the time.

(Hakuoro: This is bad- once the tiger is big enough to ride, Aruruu may lose interest in me.)

Hakuoro: Make sure she doesn’t eat all our supplies. Now, since I don’t have any other pressing duties, I’m going to spend some quality time with you and Eruruu.

Whilst Hakuoro spends time with his first two harem members, more refugees come streaming into the village. Oboro also arrives.

Oboro: Hakuoro, the time has come for me to officially hand over my harem to you.

(Hakuoro: At last!)

Hakuoro: I thank you for your contribution.

(Hakuoro: I must integrate Yuzuha with the other harem members as quickly as possible).

Hakuoro: Eruruu, Aruruu, would you mind attending to Yuzuha?

Eruruu and Aruruu go to see Yuzuha whilst Hakuoro and Oboro discuss manly pursuits and compare the length of their ‘swords’. Lesser characters such as Teoro are left with the trifling task of training the generics for war.

That evening, Hakuoro goes outside to investigate some missing supplies. A giant Mukuru is discovered.

Eruruu: Hakuoro, you can’t just let Aruruu do whatever she wants! She’ll become spoilt and expect special favours from you.

(Hakuoro: What shall I do? I don’t want to alienate Eru, but Aru’s affections are harder to maintain.)

Hakuoro: I guess I can overlook it this once.

The next day, the male characters ride out. Aruruu wants to come along.

(Hakuoro: Leaving her alone with the tiger may not be the best idea, but I can’t risk her getting damaged.)

Hakuoro: You stay here, Aru.

Hakuoro and the others reach a ruined village.

Oboro: I didn’t know these people, but- NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Benawi and Kurou appear.

Oboro: Benawi, how could you do this?

Kurou: We didn’t do it! We just came to this secluded place for some HARD GAY!

Oboro: I don’t believe you! Benawi said he wanted to be with me!

The two sides start fighting; in short order, our heroes have been defeated.

Hakuoro: Don’t think this is over yet! Main character deus ex machina- start!

As if on cue, Aruruu arrives on Mukuru and chases everyone away.

Hakuoro: You see, Aru, making you stay at home was all part of my plan- but I will have to scold you later.

Hakuoro winks knowingly at Aruruu.

Meanwhile, Benawi is forced to report his defeat to Inkara.

Inkara: Benawi, I am so disappointed in you that I have found another man to service me and randomly destroy villages!

Nuwangi comes forward.

Nuwangi: I don’t really want to sleep with Uncle, but I’ll do anything to get to the top!

Can our heroes defeat the combination of fugly Inkara and “wangsty” Nuwangi? Find out next time!

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