Utawarerumono parody episode 17

Hakuoro here. Over the last few days, I have struggled to contain the HARD GAY emotions awakened by my encounter with Niwe, and for the most part, I believe I have succeeded in suppressing them. Now, however, I have agreed to a late-night meeting with the Kunnekamun emperor, Kuuya, even before knowing their gender. Will this rendezvous set me firmly back on my original path, or doom me to a life of HARD GAY?

Genjimaru takes Hakuoro to meet masked emperor Kuuya.

Kuuya: I might as well come straight out with, Hakuoro- I’ve been investigating your exploit, and I have to admit that you interest me.

(Hakuoro: What do I do? If she is a girl, I should definitely make an effort with her- but if this Kuuya is really male, then developing feelings for him will just land me back in HARD GAY territory.)

Hakuoro awkwardly talks with Kuuya, still unsure as to what to do. Eventually, the time comes for them to return.

(Genjimaru: Since we have to travel across half the world map by morning, we must get going.)

The next day, Hakuoro spends time in Eruruu’s room, but he seems distracted by the events of the previous night.

Eruruu: You seems distracted. Is there something on your mind?

Hakuoro: Oh, nothing.

(Eruruu: Why can’t he think of me for once? I’m not just the tea maid…oh wait, maybe I am.)

Eruruu: Is it really okay for the emperor to spend all day in here.

Hakuoro: Oh, Benawi is handling affairs of state.

(Hakuoro: After all, he understands them so much better than I do.)

A brief cut to the throne room reveals Benawi working on endless scrolls.

(Benawi: Might as well use this opportunity to make some HARD GAY harem scrolls.)

Meanwhile, Oboro enters Eruruu’s room.

Oboro: Eruruu, is my, erm….morning after cure ready yet?

Hakuoro: I take it you were busy last night Oboro.

Oboro: Those twins, they can’t get enough HARD GAY.

Eruruu prepares Oboro’s medicine. When he complains that it is too bitter, Eruruu adds honey, and an evil smelling brew is created.

Oboro: This looks hideous.

Eruruu: I suppose I’m not at Grandma’s level yet…

Hakuoro: Telepathy mode on! Target Oboro!

(Hakuoro: Oboro, just drink it! The last thing we need is an Eruruu angst arc!)

(Oboro: Anija, would you really sacrifice my life that easily?)

(Hakuoro: If it comes down to it, then yes.)

Hakuoro leaves Oboro to his cruel fate, and goes for a walk around the village outside the castle. He meets up with Karura.

Karura: I’m drunk right now, and that makes you good-looking. Care to join me?

Touka runs towards them, concerned.

(Touka: Stay back, Karura, he’s mine!)

(Hakuoro: Now, now, girls, there’s enough of me to go around.)

Hakuoro, Karura and Touka return to the throne room. Chikinaro is there.

Chikinaro: Ah, Hakuoro, I see your harem progress is going well.

Hakuoro: So, do you have any ero-, I mean exotic items for me today, Chikinaro?

Chikinaro: As a matter of fact, I do. Feast your eyes on this little beauty- he makes a night in the bedroom that much more exciting!

Chikinaro opens his basket to reveal a small pet Mikyuum, Gachatara. Hakuoro summons Eruruu and Kamyu to participate in the test, and is pleased at how excited the girls become under Gatchatara’s attentions. Benawi, Oboro and the HARD GAY division watch, unimpressed.

Chikinaro: Well, Hakuoro-sama, what do you think?

(Hakuoro: It is tempting, but what if it becomes a rival to my affections? Best to say no.)

Hakuoro: I’m sorry, but I think my ‘sword’ is enough to make any night in the bedroom as exciting as it can be.

Eruruu: Hmm, I heard the liver of one of these can cure any ailment.

(Oboro: Interesting. If Yuzuha could be cured, I could enjoy some siscon as well as HARD GAY. As it is, she only has stamina for Hakuoro.)

Oboro: Anija, we must buy this!

As Oboro approaches Gachatara, the beast triggers his ‘gaydar’, immobilising everyone with its high-pitched waves before running off.

Whilst Oboro chases after it, Gachatara finds Aruruu and Yuzuha, and they quickly bond with him.

Oboro: Aruruu, I really need you to hand that over.

(Mukkuru: Yes, please do, I don’t need a rival for Aru’s affections.)

Aruruu: Sorry, but this will add lightning to my combo attack. I can’t give him up.

Oboro: But Aruruu, with his liver, we can cure Yuzuha, and then she won’t need to use a bell to summon us in the doujin game.

Yuzuha: I don’t think I would like onii-chan if that happened.

(Oboro: In that case, there is no point whatsoever. I will just stick to HARD GAY.)

(Hakuoro: Oboro, you have lost. Yuzuha only needs me.)

Chikinaro names a price for Gachatara.

(Hakuoro: Benawi won’t be happy, but if it will please Yuzuha and Aruruu, then I will do it. It is always difficult to raise my Aruruu relationship score.)

That night, Oboro gets drunk again.

Oboro: Anija, what about some HARD GAY with the twins and me? Since it’s your first time, we’ll go easy on you.

Hakuoro: How many times must I tell, Oboro, I’m not gay!

Oboro: Oh, that’s right. Well, then, maybe you’d better take Yuzuha- as of tonight, I’m officially giving up on her.

(Hakuoro: You always say that at times like this, but tomorrow you’ll be wanting her again.)

Hakuoro: Dorii, Guraa, satisfy him with some HARD GAY, would you?

Dorii/Guraa: Yes, sir!

Hakuoro leaves Oboro and goes outside. Genjimaru takes him to Kuuya.

Kuuya: It’s already our second date, so I don’t think we need a chaperone. Genji, if you wouldn’t mind leaving us alone?

(Hakuoro: Normally I would appreciate a forward partner, but this is too soon! I don’t even know Kuuya’s gender yet.)

Genjimaru reluctantly goes away. Hakuoro and Kuuya settle down with a chat.

Kuuya: So, Hakuoro, how large is your harem?

(Hakuoro: What should I say? If Kuuya is a woman, I don’t want her to feel that I am unavailable, but if he is a man, then I must boast. I think I’ll play it safe for now.)

Hakuoro: Oh, er, not that large, you know….

Kuuya: Really? I had heard that you avidly pursued women, but perhaps you have changed your ways to HARD GAY now.

Hakuoro: I assure you, I am not HARD GAY.

Kuuya: Why are you wearing that mask, then? There must be something you are trying to hide- if not HARD GAY, then some fetish perhaps?

(Hakuoro: I can’t have Kuuya get too close to the truth. Best to go on the offensive.)

Hakuoro: You’re one to talk- your mask is even more concealing than mine.

Kuuya: If it bothers you that much, I’ll take it off.

Kuuya removes her mask, and is revealed to be female.

Hakuoro: So, you were a woman after all!

(Hakuoro: Oops, I shouldn’t have said that out loud.)

Kuuya: If this is how you charm your other harem members, I’d be surprised if you had any women at all.

Hakuoro: I’m sorry- could I reset your relationship score and start over?

Kuuya: Of course- instant reversals of opinion are at the core of my character.

Hakuoro and Kuuya talk for a little longer, and then Kuuya leaves.

(Hakuoro: Kuuya- now that I know you are a woman, I will make every effort to add you to my harem.)

Can Hakuoro further increase his harem, or is his luck with women about to run out? Find out next time.

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