Akram stares into his magic pool of water.
Akram: See how I choose to employ the full extent of my power- the creation of magic CCTV! Hurry, Ryuujin no Miko, assemble the destined bishounen capable of defeating me, for only then will my plans be complete!
Shirin: Are you looking at other women again, Master?
Akram: And so what if I am? You are just an underling, after all- which reminds me, have you arranged the monster of the week yet?
Shirin: Yes, Master- for you, I would do anything.
Takamichi is working at the archives. His underlings discuss a captivating dancer they plan to watch that evening.
(Takamichi: I suppose I had better come along- but I would really rather visit Tomomasa for some HARD GAY.)
That night, Takamichi and the underlings go to watch the dancer. Predictably enough, it is Shirin.
Shirin: Foolish human men, you are all idiots! Now fall under my spell!
The men are captivated, but Takamichi gets up and leaves. Shirin follows, and attempts to seduce him.
Takamichi: I’m sorry, but I am immune to your charms…for I am HARD GAY.
Shirin: Damn you! Feel the extent of my powers! Teleport!
Shirin teleports away.
Takamichi: Hmm, she can teleport. I wonder if I should suspect her of being a demon.
Later that night, Shirin’s love slaves kill a generic, nameless man.
Shirin: Yes, carrying out pointless acts is what being a villain is all about!
The next day, Akane is asked to take a message to the Imperial Palace. Yorihisa escorts her to the entrance of the palace grounds.
Akane: That’s far enough, Yorihisa. I’ll be fine from here.
Twenty seconds later…
Akane: …I’m lost.
Fortunately, Takamichi conveniently appears to point her in the right direction. As soon as Akane is alone again, however, she runs into some of Shirin’s love slaves.
Love slaves: We are evil, yes, incredibly evil, so let’s chat about killing the emperor.
Akane: Oh no!
Meanwhile, Takamichi runs into Tomomasa.
Tomomasa: Are the rumours true, Takamichi? Are you cheating on me with that dancer?
Takamichi: You shouldn’t listen to gossip, Tomomasa. You know I am only HARD GAY for you.
Tomomasa: Oh, I don’t mind if you want to experiment, after all, I am BI myself.
Takamichi: Yes, I met a girl named Akane earlier- is she one of your conquests?
Tomomasa: Actually, she’s the main character.
Takamichi: Main character? She might be in trouble somewhere.
Tomomasa: You’re right. Let’s randomly start searching for her.
Akane flees from the love slaves, who run after her with vacant looks on their faces. She gives them the slip and tries to explain herself to a generic man in green.
Akane: You have to listen to me! The emperor is going to be killed!
Generic: Come inside and explain it to me.
Akane: I’ve never met you before, but since you are a strange man inviting me to be alone with you, you must be trustworthy. Let’s go!
Akane follows the man into a darkened room, where Shirin and the love slaves await. The love slaves bar the door, whilst Shirin starts slapping Akane.
Shirin: You little fool, I hate you! Not only do you get eight destined Hachiyou to service your every need, but even my master wants you! Jealousy Slap!
Outside, Takamichi and Tomomasa search for Akane.
Shirin: No one is coming to rescue you, Miko, but just in case they do, I will give them ample time to arrive by just talking and slapping you!
Akane: Destined bishies, save me!
Right on cue, Takamichi opens the door.
Shirin: You! The HARD GAY man!
Takamichi and Shirin draw daggers and start fighting. Meanwhile, the bewitched chief minister lurches slowly towards the emperor, sword in hand.
Eisen: Oh no! Brother, I’d like to save you, but I am too weak and useless!
Takamichi: Akane, go and tell someone about the plot to kill the emperor!
Akane tries to run off, but the love slaves grab her.
Takamichi: Oh no, I thought they would just stand around and do nothing.
Suddenly, Tomomasa arrives and knocks out the love slaves. The chief minister is slung over his shoulder.
Tomomasa: Hello everyone- as you can see, I’ve already saved the emperor, albeit off screen. All that remains is to deal with this woman.
Shirin: You fools! How dare you try to thwart my master’s plans?
Takamichi: Your master does not love you, Shirin. Now, even though you just tried to kill me, let me tend your wound.
Shirin: This isn’t over yet! Cower in awe at my mighty teleportation ability!
Shirin teleports away.
Tomomasa: Takamichi, I can see you wish to be BI after all. That’s fine, but remember, just come to me whenever you need the touch of an experienced man.
A gem appears and marks Takamichi as a destined Hachiyou.
Akane: A named character from the OP- who would have thought he would be a Hachiyou?
(Tomomasa: Why don’t they just hurry up and give me a gem too? I’m obviously a Hachiyou.)
To be continued…