Harukanaru Toki no Naka De parody episode 20


Takamichi is randomly wandering around when he happens to see Shirin.

Takamichi: Shirin! What are you doing here?

Shirin: Why, I’m here to see you, of course. My goal is to make you doubt your HARD GAY leanings.

Takamichi: I shall never stray from the path of HARD GAY!

Shirin: Mwahahaha, we shall see about that! Behold my pathetically ineffectual item of the week!

Shirin gets out a purple rock and transforms it into a mirror. Takamichi sees his mother trapped inside.

Takamichi: Mother!

Mother: Takamichi-dono, I really am the spirit of your mother, and not an obvious trick! Your Yu-Gi-Oh card can be found in a nearby forest!

Shirin: You heard her. Find and hand over your Yu-Gi-Oh card, and I’m sure not to keep any promises I make about saving her from a hideous but unspecified fate.

Takamichi: Mother!

Shirin: Of course, if you wish to save her, you will have to betray your HARD GAY comrades. Think about it.

Later, Takamichi angsts over this development. Akane arrives.

Akane: What’s wrong, Takamichi? You seem to be caught up in some angst.

Takamichi: Ah well, it’s nothing really, just that the demons have caught my mother and want my Yu-Gi-Oh card in exchange for her freedom. Now, if you don’t mind, I must activate Flashback Mode in order to explain my tragic past.

Takamichi explains how he was a bastard son who was sent away to live with a random woman.

Takamichi: That woman treated me as if I were really her son, and in order to earn her favour and make her like me, I pretended to be a hard-working person. It was all for nothing, though, for when I was still young, she passed away; from that moment on, I knew that women could not be trusted- and that HARD GAY was the only course open to me.

Back in the present, Akane is very moved by Takamichi’s tale. Tomomasa enters, and reveals that he overheard the story.

Tomomasa: So, Takamichi, what are you going to do?

Takamichi: Don’t worry, Tomomasa, my mother is already dead. You are the one I love now, and I won’t put you in danger in order to save a mere woman.

Akane: But she’s your mother!

Takamichi: I couldn’t call myself a good Hachiyou if I wasn’t fully committed to HARD GAY. Now, Tomomasa, I’m going to go out and attempt to handle this alone- feel free to act as deus ex machina when I get in trouble later on.

Takamichi goes out to find Shirin. Tomomasa and Akane secretly follow. Sefuru is also secretly watching.

Shirin: Ah, Takamichi, I was just randomly standing here and waiting for you to arrive.

Takamichi: I have no intention of handing my Yu-Gi-Oh card over to you!

Shirin: Have you really become so cold towards women? Here, let me reawaken your feelings for your mother!

Shirin summons a vision of Takamichi’s mother in a field of cherry blossoms.

Mother: Takamichi-dono, please agree to the demon’s request. Don’t ignore my needs just because I’m a generic character without even a name. Give her the Yu-Gi-Oh card, and then I can rest happily in heaven until the next time a demon summons my spirit and tries to use it against you!

Takamichi: You aren’t my mother! My mother would happily sacrifice her generic existence for the sake of the main characters!

Mother transforms back into Shirin.

Shirin: You are correct, Takamichi! That was just a pointless little scheme that I created to fill time! Rose Powder attack!

Takamichi is caught in a whirlwind of pink powder.

(Tomomasa: I knew I would have to come along and save him.)

Tomomasa shows himself, and the cherry blossom illusion is shattered.

Tomomasa: Using some convenient plot powers, Akane has disrupted the last traces of your wicked feminine illusions. Now cower before the might of our HARD GAY!

Takamichi: Shirin! I will destroy your evil mirror of temptation!

Shirin: Can you really shatter the last of your feelings for women that easily?

Takamichi goes to shatter the mirror with his ‘dagger’, but is unable to do it.

Shirin: Hahaha, you pathetic fool! Vine whip!

Shirin attacks Takamichi with her vine whip, knocking him back and shattering his glasses.

Shirin: And now that I clearly have the upper hand, I will stand back and let the mirror attack instead!

Four white arms reach out from the mirror and attack Takamichi.

Mother: Takamichi, this mirror version of me may be my actual spirit! Don’t worry about me, for I am just a generic character.

Sefuru: How can a mother possibly love their child? Up until now, I have been a shallow enemy character, but now I shall reveal that I am a tragic half-demon who was abandoned by his mother!

Sefuru runs away.

Shirin: Mirror, what are you doing? I suppose you think that I should go to all the effort of attacking him!

Mother: Takamichi, you must destroy me for the good of the plot and your HARD GAY future!

Takamichi: Mother, I can’t do it! I seem to have some lingering feelings for women after all!

Takamichi is unable to act as the mirror attacks.

Mother: Takamichi, think back to when I died and left you all alone! Women can’t be trusted!

Takamichi: …Yes, you’re right. I’m a Hachiyou who has HARD GAY! I don’t need you!

As Takamichi starts fighting back, Tomomasa enters the battle.

Tomomasa: I was just standing around doing nothing for the last few minutes, but now that my partner has reaffirmed his commitment to HARD GAY, I may as well step in. Takamichi, whatever you’re feeling right now, let me share it with you- that’s what HARD GAY partners are for.

Takamichi and Tomomasa’s gems start glowing, and Deep Yellow-White appears.

Deep Yellow-White: The HARD GAY connection between the two of you cannot be denied. Here, take this ridiculous power-up!

A glowing yellow aura surrounds Tomomasa and Takamichi.

Tomomasa/Takamichi: HARD GAY power, giant wang attack!

A giant ‘wang’ of white energy is created, which smashes the mirror. As Shirin teleports away, the mother’s spirit is released.

Takamichi: Mother!

Mother: Even though I am going to heaven, I will always be ineffectually watching over you.

Mother goes up to heaven, and Takamichi and Tomomasa’s Yu-Gi-Oh card appears.

Takamichi: The Yu-Gi-Oh card! By giving up my last feelings for my mother, our HARD GAY has been approved!

Shirin returns to Akram’s lair, where her master has been watching everything on magic CCTV.

Akram: Why did you come back after failing so miserably?

Shirin: But master, we always fail. I thought that was the idea.

Akram: Just get out of my sight.

To be continued…

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