One night, Ikutidal and Inori’s sister Seri are on a boat together.
Seri: Why can’t humans and demons just get along? It would render the series pointless, but we wouldn’t have to hide our forbidden love.
Ikutidal: I’m afraid we must be slightly tragic lovers, now with a child on the way.
In Kyou, a drought is killing all the crops.
Fuji: This is awful- the demons have used their inconsistent powers to inflict a drought upon us.
Akane: There must be something we can do. Surely my Convenient Plot Powers can combat this.
Tenma: Akane, this isn’t something that women should interfere in. Let the REAL MEN handle it.
Shimon: But is there anything we can actually do?
Tomomasa: Well, we could randomly run around and try to find the source of the curse. You have to admit that it’s worked for us so far.
Fuji: I have a better idea- why don’t we talk to the demons and try to find out what they’re trying to achieve.
Akane: What a good idea- let’s do that! Then again, it might not be very easy…
(Tomomasa: Yes, the demons are really going to want to chat to humans about their ineffectual and nonsensical plans. Hasn’t anyone noticed that it’s time for the series to get some kind of plot together?)
Inori suddenly feels the need to angst and goes outside. Shimon follows him.
Inori: Why do you always have to trail after me like some puppy? Leave me alone!
Shimon: But, Inori, I thought you had accepted me as your HARD GAY partner.
Inori: Yes, but I don’t need you with me whilst I’m trying to work out complex strategies. The way I see it, I just need to fight Inori, and everything will be okay again. Now, don’t tell anyone else about this until I get in trouble and need help- understood?
Seri sits alone in her empty house. Inori enters.
Inori: Sister, even though I spend most of my time with HARD GAY bishies, I don’t want you thinking that I don’t have feelings for you anymore. My siscon tendencies are as strong as ever.
Seri: Inori, I was out with Ikutidal again last night.
Inori: Why? Why do you keep choosing him over me?
Seri: Inori…
Inori: He’s a demon! Have you forgotten our tragic past?
Inori activates Flashback Mode, revealing a time when he and his sister were driven out of their village for associating with demons.
Ikutidal reports in to Akram.
Ikutidal: There’s been no progress yet, Master.
Akram: What a surprise.
Ikutidal: I’ll be on my way then.
Akram: Ikutidal, I hope you aren’t sullying yourself through congress with humans. Only a pure man can be allowed to indulge in HARD GAY with me.
Ikutidal: Understood, sir.
Akram: If you are even thinking of betraying me, remember that I was the one who ripped out your eye. Acts like that are the ones that inspire the love and devotion of my underlings.
That night, Inori angsts. Akane arrives.
Inori: Hypothetically speaking, if there was some guy with red hair who had an unhealthy obsession with his sister, and that sister wanted to go out with another man…well, what should he do?
Akane: I can’t imagine any person like that, but I always say that true love will out.
Inori: Why are you so naïve? Can’t you just agree with my, er, I mean the red-haired guy’s point of view?
Inori runs off. Meanwhile, Seri indulges in flashback mode. As children, she and Inori only had each other, but all that changed on a day when bandits tried to rape Seri and Ikutidal rescued her.
Bandit: Green eyes and grey hair! He must be one of those blue-eyed, blonde-haired demons!
Ikutidal kills the bandits.
Seri: Apart from my brother, you are the first non generic man I have met! I have already fallen in love with you!
(Seri: Now I’ll pull the sick girl act to reel him in.)
(Ikutidal: After so much HARD GAY with the Master, a woman could be an intriguing novelty.)
Ikutidal: Please take this medicine- it will give you stamina for our encounters.
Through a series of flashbacks, Seri and Ikutidal’s relationship develops, sometimes through scenes where they do not even meet.
The next day, Inori confronts Ikutidal.
Inori: It’s time for a man-to-man face-off, Ikutidal. Only one of us can have Seri, and it won’t be you!
Ikutidal: Why are you getting so worked up over this? Don’t you have HARD GAY now?
Inori starts attacking Ikutidal, who easily dodges.
Ikutidal: Now listen to me, Inori- Seri is mine!
Akane and Shimon arrive.
Akane: Inori! We randomly knew that you would be here!
Shimon: Inori, are you betraying our HARD GAY bond?
Inori: My sister is just as important as HARD GAY!
Seri arrives.
Seri: Inori, even though I am ill, I dragged myself out here. I love you, but I love Ikutidal more- I made that decision a long time ago.
Inori starts crying.
Inori: Sister…
In his lair, Akram summons a dark energy ball.
Akram: I suppose I’ll have to summon the monster of the week myself.
A giant insect-like creature appears before Inori and the others. Everyone stands around as it starts attacking. Finally, Ikutidal draws his sword in order to protect Seri.
(Ikutidal: What am I doing? I will be betraying my Master and his HARD GAY!)
Inori: If you won’t do anything to save her, then let me do it!
Shimon: Inori, don’t fight alone! We should use our HARD GAY to protect everyone!
Inori: Yes, let’s unite and use the power of insert song!
An insert song starts to play, and Deep White appears.
Deep White: Hachiyou of Suzaku, you have finally found your HARD GAY connection. Take this Yu-Gi-Oh card and equip it for a powerup.
Shimon and Inori start glowing with a fiery aura.
Shimon/Inori: Power of fire, DOUBLE HARD-ON!
A stream of fire pours out from their hands and engulfs the monster. Ikutidal takes the opportunity to float away with Seri.
(Ikutidal: Akram must have seen this. He may rip out my other eye.)
Akane, Shimon and Inori go home.
Shimon: So, Inori, now that we are an official HARD GAY couple, Ikutidal is welcome to your sister, right?
Inori: Well, I wouldn’t exactly say that.
To be continued…
