Takamichi staggers out of bed, only to meet up with Tomomasa.
(Takamichi: HARD GAY with Tomomasa is so taxing- I can barely stand.)
Tomomasa: Where do you think you’re going, Takamichi? I told you to wait for me in bed.
Takamichi: Tomomasa, it’s getting towards the end of the series- I want to participate in the final battle.
Takamichi continues on his way. Later, Akane is given a scroll that he wrote.
Akane: According to this scroll, Takamichi conveniently found a book that describes a situation much like the current one, in which evil monsters waved around ineffectually and generic humans ran screaming from them. Due to this, he’s gone out to throw knives at some of the minor monsters.
Shimon: I want to be vaguely useful for once, so I will go out and look for Takamichi.
Shimon goes out to search, leaving Akane with Fuji and Tomomasa.
Meanwhile…
Boss Battle: Yasuaki, Eisen and Kotengu vs. Ran and Dark Byakko.
Ran: Look how evil and threatening I am! Hand over your Yu-Gi-Oh card!
Yasuaki: Why don’t you hand over yours? Stock Animation Attack!
Ran: Convenient Energy Barrier!
Ran blocks Yasuaki’s standard paper seal attack. Yorihisa and Tenma join the hero party.
Yasuaki: Pointless Lengthy Chanting!
Tenma: Ran, remember the good old siscon days and come back to me!
Ran: I’m sorry, but it’s supposed to be one pair of Hachiyou vs. one demon of evil! Budget-saving loss of background and teleportation!
The background turns white, and Yorihisa is transported to Ikutidal and Dark Seiryu. Ikutidal throws his Dark Yu-Gi-Oh card away and makes a few sword poses.
Ikutidal: With a ‘sword’ like mine, who needs Dark Yu-Gi-Oh cards? Let’s cross our ‘blades’, man to man.
Takamichi wanders around when he spots a somewhat dishevelled and disorientated Shirin. He saves her from wandering into a corpse-filled blob.
Shirin: To think that you would only show feelings for me after the Master abandoned me.
Takamichi: It is the job of men to protect women, Tenma taught me that. Shirin, although I am primarily HARD GAY, I have come to realise that I can be BI like Tomomasa and accept women too.
Shirin: So my plan worked after all. Now I will just randomly teleport away until the plot calls for me again.
Shirin teleports away.
Meanwhile, Akane has fainted and her spirit been transported to the magic CCTV realm of the Ryuujin.
Akane: Dragon, you gave me your power at the beginning of the series, but now I must ask for your power to save Kyou.
Ryuujin: Give yourself to me, and I will consider it.
With Tenma and Yorihisa removed from their party, Eisen and Yasuaki continue the fight.
Ran: The Master told me that I could be a main character if I destroyed you! Dark Byakko, Arrows of Light!
Yasuaki: Kotengu, the time has come for you to be useful. Revert to your true form!
The seal on Kotengu is released, and he becomes a full-sized tengu who blocks the attack. Ran and Byakko conveniently stop attacking for a few moments in order to let the heroes converse.
Yasuaki: This is your chance to be more than a comedy sidekick. Now go and fight Byakko whilst I stand here and do nothing.
Kotengu: And just why should I obey your orders? You were the one who turned me into a comedy sidekick in the first place!
Eisen: I guess he’s just too weak to fight. Let’s just use our HARD GAY, Yasuaki.
Kotengu: Since I’m too stupid to know about reverse psychology, I now feel compelled to show you how strong I am!
Kotengu equips Feather Fan and starts attacking Dark Byakko.
Shimon wanders through town, and once again finds himself surrounded by generics.
Generics: You’re a demon!
Shimon: How many times do I have to remind you all that I’m the hero loli shota from the OP?
Sefuru teleports in.
Sefuru: So you generics want to see a demon, do you? Let me show you what a real demon can do! I summon Dark Suzaku!
Sefuru uses his Dark Yu-Gi-Oh card to summon Dark Suzaku. The generics run away.
Shimon: Thanks for helping me, Sefuru; you’re always such a good friend to me. Even when you tried to kill me, I knew that was just your way of showing affection.
Sefuru: You still don’t get it, do you? I’m an enemy. My tragic childhood drove me to the Master, where he showed me the superior demon version of HARD GAY. Humans are beneath me now.
Shimon: But Sefuru, I always wanted to be HARD GAY with you!
Inori arrives.
Inori: Shimon, are you all right?
Sefuru: Oh, so that was your little game. You were going to win my affections, and start two-timing me.
Shimon: That’s not true!
Sefuru: You’re just like my mother! She was human, but she abandoned me because of my demon blood! Now I hate all humans, even though I am clearly half-human myself!
Boss Battle: Shimon and Inori vs. Sefuru and Dark Suzaku.
Sefuru: Go, Dark Suzaku!
Dark Suzaku disappears.
Sefuru: Damn, why does nothing ever go right for me? Oh well- Kamehameha!
Sefuru fires an energy blast at Shimon and Inori, who easily dodge it. Inori punches Sefuru.
Sefuru: How dare you punch me!? What have I ever done to you?
Inori: Come on, let’s have a proper brawl!
Shimon: Wait! Everyone can live together in peace and harmony! You see, ages ago, there was a war between humans and demons-
Inori: There was? That sounds like an important piece of history that no one ever bothered to tell me before.
Shimon: Anyway, both sides were at fault back then, but now we can live in harmony and usher in a new age.
Inori: Shimon, even though I have hated demons for years, your few lines have persuaded me that my lifelong beliefs are wrong. I am now convinced that humans and demons should be friends.
Inori and Shimon hold the Dark Suzaku Yu-Gi-Oh card.
Inori/Shimon: Magical Plot Powers, purify the darkness!
Dark Suzaku changes to Ultimate Suzaku.
Meanwhile, Tenma materialises just in time to see Yorihisa and Ikutidal start to cross ‘blades’.
Tenma: Yorihisa! Are you being HARD GAY with another man?
Their blades clash as Dark Seiryu flies around.
Ikutidal: Don’t make this action scene too complex- the animation budget is down to the last few yen!
Tenma notices the discarded Yu-Gi-Oh card and picks it up.
Tenma: Even more ridiculous and unexplained Plot Powers, purify the darkness!
The Yu-Gi-Oh card and Dark Seiryu become Ultimate Seiryu. Yorihisa smiles at Tenma.
Ikutidal: Don’t start thinking about having some HARD GAY with him just because he has a big ‘dragon’! You promised to ‘spar’ with me!
Yorihisa and Ikutidal clash a few more times before Yorihisa bests the demon.
Yorihisa: All my HARD GAY training has passed off; I have surpassed you, old man.
Ikutidal: You have indeed surpassed my HARD GAY, but you are still no match for the Master.
Tenma: What are you talking about? We have the plot on our side.
Eisen, Yasuaki and Kotengu are having a harder time with Dark Byakko.
Yasuaki: I’m sorry, Eisen, but because I am a high level warrior, our opponent is stronger than the ones the others faced.
Ran: I’ve just been standing around for a while, but now I will command Dark Byakko to use Arrows of Light again!
Yasuaki: Paper Barrier!
Yasuaki creates a barrier to block the attack, but Kotengu comes over to handle it.
Kotengu: Leave it to me! I won’t waste a single opportunity to be more than a comedy sidekick!
Kotengu blocks the attack, but seemingly at the cost of his own life!
Eisen: Kotengu! No one really cared about you, but now you are dead we are all devastated!
Yasuaki: I shouldn’t worry, he’ll probably return in his chibi form at the end of the series.
Ran: Kotengu’s sacrifice accomplished nothing! Dark Byakko and I still have all our HP!
Yasuaki: Pointless Paper Attack!
Yasuaki commences an attack.
Eisen: I know, why don’t I use the Genbu Yu-Gi-Oh card that we’ve been carrying around since the start of the battle?
Eisen summons Ultimate Genbu.
Ran: I can’t be defeated until Tomomasa and Takamichi get a chance to fight!
Ran teleports away and Dark Byakko disappears.
Everyone’s gems start glowing and Akane wakes up.
Akane: Did I miss anything?
Ikutidal talks to Tenma and Yorihisa.
Ikutidal: Now there are only two boss battles left- Ran and Akram.
Akram and Ran materialise in Kyou.
Akram: Gwakakaka, this time I will surely succeed!
To be concluded…
