Harukanaru Toki no Naka De parody episode 26 [end]

A thunderstorm of evil covers Kyou, whilst hideous monsters menace generic townspeople. Tomomasa stays at the manor does nothing.

Tomomasa: To be honest, I couldn’t care less about the fate of Kyou and its generics. As long as I have access to HARD GAY named characters, that is all I need.

Meanwhile, Sefuru is upset at having lost so easily.

Sefuru: My battle was over in less than a minute- I don’t even qualify as a mid-boss.

Fuji watches over the sleeping Akane.

Fuji: It’s only the last episode, so there’s no need for any sort of urgency. Instead, I shall indulge in some budget-saving flashbacks.

Akane wakes up.

Akane: I’m sorry, but those flashbacks were so boring that I have to go now.

Tenma, Yorihisa, Shimon, Inori, Ikutidal and Sefuru are all transported to the same location via magical plot powers.

Sefuru: Master, don’t abandon me now! I wanted more HARD GAY with you!

Ikutidal takes Sefuru aside.

Ikutidal: I’m afraid you only have me now, boy.

Takamichi and Tomomasa arrive, followed by Eisen and Yasuaki.

Tomomasa: It looks like everyone’s gathered here for the final boss battle.

Ikutidal and Sefuru continue to randomly wander around. Ikutidal remembers when Akram put on his mask.

(Ikutidal: Back in the days when the demon clan had more than four people, Akram was a sweet young man, but when he put on the mask, he became a vainglorious megalomaniac! Hachiyou, even though I spent several earlier episodes opposing you, I now hope that you can defeat the Master and show him the error of his ways.)

Yasuaki: The time has come to break down this random barrier in front of us and enter the final boss level.

Eisen: Flute playing!

Yasuaki: Stock Animation Attack x3!

Yasuaki and Eisen break down the barrier that blocks the gateway in front of the Hachiyou.

Akram: I will just sit here and wait for them to come to me. Ran, go to them and be a final mid-boss.

Ran teleports away.

Yasuaki: Eisen and I have done our part, so we will just wait around here whilst the rest of you go on ahead.

Tenma, Yorihisa, Shimon, Inori, Takamichi and Tomomasa run through the gateway. They encounter Ran.

Tomomasa: Takamichi, I guess it’s time for the two of us to get our Yu-Gi-Oh card back. One woman should pose no problem for out HARD GAY.

Takamichi: This is our role in the final battle, so you four should go on ahead.

Ran does nothing as Tenma, Yorihisa, Shimon and Inori run past her.

Ran: I summon Dark Byakko!

Takamichi grabs her arm and whispers to her.

Takamichi: Ran, all the men in this series are HARD GAY. They aren’t interested in women like you.

Ran is so shocked by this that she does not resist or protest as Takamichi takes the Dark Yu-Gi-Oh card.

Takamichi/Tomomasa: HARD GAY powers, purify the darkness!

Dark Byakko transforms into Ultimate Byakko, and the Four Gods appear above Kyou.

Akane: For some reason I didn’t go earlier, but now I must use the magical teleportation abilities to reach the site of the final battle.

Fuji: I am completely useless, but I don’t want to be left out! Please take me with you.

Akane: Since it’s the last episode, I may as well bring you along.

Akane and Fuji teleport away. Unfortunately, Shimon, Inori, Tenma and Yorihisa have to take the long way around, and are blocked by a giant spider.

Inori: RAGING HARD-ON! Tenma, Yorihisa, go on ahead!

Shimon: I’m not doing anything perceptibly useful, but I must stay behind with Inori!

Tenma and Yorihisa run on ahead just as Inori defeats the spider.

Inori: There was no real reason for six of us to stay behind at various points, but I guess the plot demanded it. Shimon, I just want you to know that even if you go back to your own world, we’ll always be HARD GAY companions.

Yorihisa and Tenma reach Akram.

Tenma: Look at me! I’m wielding a ‘sword’ even though I’ve barely had any practise!

Tenma and Yorihisa attempt to break down Akram’s barrier as an insert song starts to play.

Akram: Gwakaka, I will just sit here in my barrier whilst I use my black kirin furry accessory to attack you!

As the kirin attacks, Akane and Fuji teleport in. Akram does nothing whilst Akane talks to the Hachiyou.

Akane: It’s the final battle, so I was able to teleport straight here. I guess it makes your efforts to get here a little pointless.

Tenma: If a REAL MAN does it, it cannot be pointless!

Akane turns to Akram.

Akane: Akram, I know that your people were persecuted, but that’s no reason to become a main villain.

Akram: Gwakakaka, what do you know? My plan was to manipulate humans into starting a war, even though that contradicts all my previous actions and plans. Now, Activate Random Dark Beam!

Dark power suddenly engulfs all eight Hachiyou, causing them to crumple up in pain. Ran teleports back to Akram’s side.

Akane starts glowing with yellow power.

Akane: How dare you hurt my bishies!?

Ran: Akane, I am suddenly good again! You mustn’t do this!

Something shatters and Fuji lose one of her two HP. Akane stops glowing.

Akane: Fuji-hime, are you okay?

Fuji: The stress of standing here and doing nothing was too much for my frail body!

Akram: Kirin, attack them again whilst I continue to stand here and do nothing!

The kirin attacks again, but Yorihisa and Tenma attack it with HARD GAY power. The other six Hachiyou are randomly teleported to the final battle, and everyone’s gems start glowing; the intense light destroys the kirin. Even Akram’s hat is blown away.

Fuji: It looks like the heroes have activated their God Mode.

Akram: Gwakakaka, I am too good looking to be defeated by the likes of you! Now, I’ll give up Ran’s life points in order to summon the Black Dragon to the field!

Ran falls to the ground as a black CG dragon appears.

Akane: Everyone, it took me half the series to find you and give you your gems, but now I need them back so that I can summon the dragon and end this!

Yasuaki: I can’t help feeling this could all have been avoided if you had just done that in the first episode.

Akane starts praying and the gems leave the Hachiyou as a white CG dragon appears. Seimei and the generic priests reappear, not that anyone cares about them.

As the two dragons face each other, Akram and Akane are transported to the blue interlayer world with the Kyou magic CCTV. Akane hugs Akram.

Akane: Akram, you tried to kill and manipulate us many times, but I knew you were a good person- you were just upset at having to hide your bishie good looks behind that mask.

Akram: How did you guess?

The two dragons clash a few times.

Ryuujin: Miko, what is your desire?

Akane: To free Akram from his mask and let his bishiness be seen by everyone!

Akram’s mask shatters, and his true bishie nature is revealed.

Akram: Thank you. Now the world can see how attractive I am.

As Akane and Akram start to fade away, the eight gems appear and the bishies talk to Akane in budget saving still.

Bishies: Thank you, Akane, for bringing us all together so that we could find our destined HARD GAY partners.

Shirin appears.

Shirin: Wait! Miko, you can’t have Akram- I staked my claim on him first.

Akane: Oh, okay then. I’ve got my pick of eight other men, so I suppose I can let you have him.

Akane lets go of Akram, and Shirin takes hold of him.

Ryuujin: We’ve successfully filled twenty six episodes with poorly plotted lightweight crap. Now the time has come to wrap everything up.

Kyou is returned to a normal, happy state and Akane, Ran, Tenma and Shimon are sent home. The other bishies and named characters are seen in Kyou, but in contradiction, Akane is able to pick the Hachiyou with the highest relationship score to come back with her to her own world. Who did she choose? Well, since the director didn’t want to upset anyone, it wasn’t made clear- there are even possible endings for all eight Hachiyou on the DVD release.