Chevalier Alternative 20 Part II

“I thought you’d never ask, sir.”

“Here, get a good hold of my ‘sword’”.

Robin oversees the construction of the stadium for the upcoming Olympics.

“Stop, I said the track has to be four hundred metres! Four hundred!”

“So, Robin, I understand that you’ve come out as a STRAIGHT man.”

“Yes, I’ve been trying my utmost to give up HARD GAY.”

“Have you ever considered undergoing cosmetic surgery to make yourself more attractive to the ladies? It’s done wonders for Belle here.”

“But…she’s dead.”

“Well yes, I admit that the waiting lists are a bit long, but I can assure you we’ll be able to fit you in by the time you’re Teillagory’s age.”

“Aren’t you glad we let Marie talk us into that cosmetic surgery? We look like two completely different people.”

“In fact, now that I’ve premiered my new look, I have been asked to become a spokesperson for the French branch of Tetley’s.”

“How would you like a nice refreshing cup of Tetley’s tea?”

“Whatever ails you, a cup of tea is bound to hit the spot.”

“I do have to admit that it has a pleasing aroma.”

“I never thought Auguste would join the H.O.M.O. club so early- what has his grandfather been teaching him?”

“Oh well, time to get back to Minesweeper.”

Still sitting in the studio, d’Eon continues to regret the fact that he did not say ‘lower’.

“Well, Teillagory, how do you fancy some cane?”

“I’m terribly sorry sir, but I already have plans for this evening.”

“Is that so? What a shame.”

D’Eon decides to use a quiet moment to start writing his own book of HARD GAY.

“D’Eon, how would you like to be my sidekick on Le Chevalier Robin?”

Le Chevalier Robin episode 2: d’Eon the sidekick.

Our party’s first enemy- a door.

As battle begins, Robin equips Pistol and d’Eon equips Book.

“What’s this, Robin? Didn’t you give up HARD GAY?”

(“I said I’d give up, but I want to give him Pistol so much…”)

“What will you do, Robin? Will you give in to HARD GAY?”

“Dear God, please give me more dialogue and screen time.”

(“I hope the director is listening to this.”)

Marie arrives with a revised script that seems to cater to Pompadour’s demands.

“Basically, you have two choices- you can turn good and be relegated to the sidelines, or remain evil and get lots of gloating scenes.”

“Are those the only options?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“Robin, don’t be ashamed of your feelings for men!”

“What is this sensation?”

“Hey, don’t touch me there!”

“Stay away- I’m only attracted to women when I’m in Lia Mode!”

“Robin, he’s open and ready for you- what will you do?”

(“I want to give him HARD GAY, but I must resist…”)

(“No, I won’t do it!”)

“See how easy it is for a woman to disrupt the bonds between sexually confused young men.”

“Now, let’s see what happens when I play a little bondage game with you.”

“Never! This book is the only one I will give my Sword to now!”

As d’Eon struggles, HARD GAY field lines become visible to the naked eye.

“Don’t try to resist my Pleasure!”

D’Eon consummates his relationship with the book.

“Damn! I’ll be back next week!”

“Did you really just have BOOK?”

“What’s it to you, STRAIGHT boy?”

“Well then, shall we move on to the next boss battle?”

Having discussed the script, talk moves on to Marie’s new laptop.

“I bet you can’t beat my record at Minesweeper.”

“How do you manage to do it in under a hundred seconds?”

“It was all thanks to this skull controller.”

“I never thought to use one of those!”

“Robin, since you’re STRAIGHT now, would you mind acting as the referee?”

“In the grey corner, representing traditional HARD GAY, it’s Teillagory!”

“And in the other corner, which also happens to be grey, we have d’Eon du Beaumont, representing modern BI!”



“HARD GAY is all that this world needs! BI is perverted and wrong!”

“BI is a natural extension of HARD GAY! By rejecting it you are only stifling yourself!”

“When I see their gleaming swords, I cannot help but recall all those times we shared.”

“No, I must stay strong- STRAIGHT is the path for me!”

Teillagory deals d’Eon a ‘low blow’.

“Now let me show you what BI can achieve, old man!”

“I feel a little embarrassed, watching such intimacy.”

“You are still too young to know of the true possibilities of HARD GAY.”


“Come, feel my blade!”

“See how much more flexible BI is.”

The intense HARD GAY encounter continues unabated.

Teillagory gets the ‘’upper hand’.

“Now to give you a proper taste of the old antique.”

D’Eon grits his teeth against a wave of pleasure and agony.

“Had enough, d’Eon boy?”

“Is it my turn yet, Teillagory?”

“Ah good, you went to the trouble of softening him up for me.”

Orleans gets his sword out.

“It’s no good, I cannot resist the lure of HARD GAY! Take me instead, Orleans!”

“Hmm, you don’t look very well endowed to me.”

Orleans sucks on a chocolate, only to find that it is filled with bitter lemon syrup.

“I’ll never let a HARD GAY old fossil like you have his way with me!”

“We’ll see about that!”

“I told you I was your partner!”

“RAGING HARD-ON, Frustration Version!”

“Such an intense burst of HARD GAY!”

“I never knew Robin had it in him.”

Teillagory steps in for one last waltz with Orleans.

The dance goes wrong when they cannot decide who should lead.

“Never forget that I am Teillagory, a man who fought for HARD GAY until the end.”

“Unfortunately, I guess I just don’t have the stamina to keep up with the young men…”

“What have I done? I can never go back to being STRAIGHT again?”

Next time

Saint-Germain discovers that Marie’s cosmetic surgery is not as safe as she initially claimed.

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2 Responses to Chevalier Alternative 20 Part II

  1. ItariShun says:

    LOL at the last picture and the comment

  2. Machi says:

    XD Jesus christ the cosmetic surgery jokes were a killer XD

Comments are closed.