Pumpkin Scissors parody 3

When the Pumpkin Scissors unit is sent to a village to practise their Drill and Pickaxe skills, they meet unexpected resistance from the locals, who seem to have an aversion to any sort of HARD GAY. Can Alice ever hope to convince them to jump into bed for a group session?

Alice’s sisters arrive on a mission- to turn their Sword using sibling into a proper lady.

“Are you trying to become a reverse trap or something?”

“That’s just the way it is in the army- we all get together for some Sword, regardless of gender.”

“It might be fun to experiment once in a while, but surely you can’t mean to dedicate your life to that sort of group session.”

“Those group sessions are important for relieving everyone’s frustration!”

“Don’t get your Zhuge Liang out at the breakfast table!”

“Have you been trying BI again?”

Alice has trouble understanding the ways of commoners, who are practically a separate species, after all.

“Do you have any experience with Drill?”

“Not really, but once we get some practice, we’ll be able to sell it to many prospective customers.”

“Sounds good to me!”

“And to top it off, we’ll throw in some Pickaxe too!”

“Not only will Pickaxe be exciting, but I’m sure we can turn an even greater profit from it!”

“I bet you’re looking forward to Pickaxe too.”

“We can’t have a group session in here- if it gets too intense, we’ll all be trapped!”

Alice realises they must take special measures before they can have any sort of special activities inside.

Oreld tries to show a reluctant village boy how to have HARD GAY.

“Don’t force him if he doesn’t want to.”

Nonetheless, Alice wins him over by explaining the specifics of HARD GAY and BI, both of which are superior to BREAD.

The villagers seem uninterested in joining the HARD GAY.

The boy tries to convince his father to let them join in the fun.

“We’ll get paid for HARD GAY, and we’ll even be able to use what we’ve learned to pleasure others for a hefty price.”

“Exactly! It’s win-win for you guys!”

“No thanks- last time we tried HARD GAY, it was a disaster!”

“In the end, although we didn’t die of the HARD GAY itself, many of us suffered from STDs.”

“My son survived, but the other children didn’t have the stamina for it.”

“These are adult matters, boy.”

“Didn’t you hear me? I said you’d get paid for it.”

“Show me the money, then.”

“Sorry, but first you have to prove yourself in the bedroom.”

“I’m not playing your stupid games- it’s cash up front or no deal.”

“We’re main characters and you’re just generics- who do you think you are to question us?”

“Remember, we’re the ones who’ll be sleeping with you- if anything, you should consider yourself privileged.”

“Generics have their pride too, you know!”

“We’ll never get them into bed at this rate.”

In desperation, Alice decides to resort to Hyper Self Pleasure.

When the others warn that Self Pleasure is pointless, she takes it as an indication that they want to join in.

When she ends up on her own anyway, Alice discovers that Pickaxe is not as exciting when attempted by oneself.

Alice experiences that feeling of waking up next to an unexpected partner after having got blind drunk the night before.

To make matters worse, Randel gets his Zhuge Liang out.

“I don’t want to think about what might have happened between us!”

The village leader wonders if Alice’s next move will be to force them into bed.

“I don’t know why you’re resisting- don’t you want a taste of my Sword?”

“I’m not going to agree to HARD GAY just because you wave your sword around!”

“You have to believe me- you will get paid for your services.”

“Bad news- the boy tried to have unassisted Drill!”

“Stay here- you probably aren’t ready for Drill yet.”

“Hey, I thought the whole point of this episode was to persuade us to join in with these things.”

The boy has a name after all.

“What were you thinking, trying to have Drill by yourself?”

“Thanks to your ill-advised Drill, we’re trapped here.”

“It’s okay- I’m the main character and I can’t possibly end my days here.”

“The same thing happened the last time we had group HARD GAY- because of that we’ve been scared to ever try it again.”

“See, I told you I was the main character.”

This entry was posted in Pumpkin Scissors and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.