Pumpkin Scissors parody 6 part I

When Randel finds an abandoned baby, everyone wonders if it is his HARD GAY lovechild, but when Alice and the others decide to search for the mother, they get distracted by a desire to try some BI with the local townspeople. Will the baby ever be reunited with its real parents, and more importantly, will Alice find a willing partner?


What better way to start the episode than with a gratuitous cat shot?


“Is it a gift basket?”


“Sorry, but I was held up by a demanding lover.”


“The only person you may have Sword with is me! From now on, you will only get this Dagger at work!”


Randel’s HARD GAY life is overturned by his first glimpse of breasts.


“I need to explore these new feelings that are welling up inside me!”


(“Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer some DOG?”)


A baby appears- is it a HARD GAY lovechild?


“Seems his parents want him to adopt the HARD GAY lifestyle from an early age.”


“They can’t expect us to have HARD GAY with a baby!”


“Do your political views perhaps differ from mine?”


“Yes- we should determine right away if the baby is attracted to men or women.”


“I think we can establish that he doesn’t like women.”


“Don’t write off his chances with women yet- let me have a go!”


“Nope, he still isn’t responding.”


“Maybe he just needs to get naked first.”


“We’ve only just met!”


“You’re the lover boy around here, Oreld- you handle it!”


“Very well, then, let’s take a look at the little guy’s Liang.”


“Nice range.”


“I should, er, probably move out of the way at some point.”


“Randel, it’s over to you.”


Could it be- a perfect match?


“You might just be walking along the corridor one day and suddenly a baby will appear right in front of you!”


“Look- it happened again!”


“Wow, I never knew that.”


“Hey, is that your HARD GAY lovechild?”


“I always use protection!”


“Well, he certainly seems to like men, anyway.”


“Looks like this is a HARD GAY child, all right.”


“Don’t say that! There’s still a chance we can get him to like women!”


“This baby needs a STRAIGHT future!”


“It’s too late- he’s already absorbing Randel’s HARD GAY tendencies.”


“Or maybe he really is Randel’s HARD GAY lovechild!”


“Randel, if that’s the case, you’d better confess before we have to go on daytime television to discover who the father is!”


“I already told you- I use protection!”


“…it split!?”


“Are you absolutely sure he isn’t yours?”


“How many times am I going to have to say it? I am not the father!”


“You know, this repartee is all very well, but we have to resolve this situation by the end of the episode.”


“We can’t afford to waste time training him in the ways of HARD GAY.”


“Fine, then let’s have a ‘who’s the mother?’ show!”


“Don’t break us up! Our relationship is just beginning!”


“It’s simple once you know how.”


“Anyway, whilst we’re out, I’ve heard tell of a woman who might be good for some BI.”


“Is she the only place we can get BI whilst in the field?”


“Would you rather go without?”


“Excuse us, but we’d like to order some BI.”


“If possible, we’d like an experienced partner.”