Shounen Onmyouji parody episode 13

A mysterious hooded woman summons an onryou/demon of hatred.

Woman: The Kyuuki arc is finally over, and that means the time has come for a new villain to emerge!

Onryou: Anger and hatred!

The next morning, Masahiro is awoken by Akiko.

(Masahiro: Akiko is in my bedroom! We didn’t…did we?)

Masahiro runs out to confront his mother.

Masahiro: Mother, there…there’s a girl in my bedroom!

Tsuyuki: Well, you are a growing boy, you know. It’s about time you learned about this sort of thing, and as a mother, it is my duty to teach you. Of course if Akiko doesn’t want to learn, she doesn’t have to.

Akiko: If you don’t teach me about STRAIGHT, I’m going to be very bored.

Masahiro heads out to the Onmyou dorms. As he gets down to work, a trio of fellow Onmyou students, led by Toshitsugu, confront him.

Toshigutsu: What do we have here? Could the main character finally have deigned to pay us a visit?

Masahiro: Oh, hello.

Toshigutsu: It must be awful being such a weak main character- why, we’re halfway through the series already and you’re only Level Five.

Mokkun: Damn you!

Masahiro: Calm down, Mokkun- we don’t need to listen to someone who gets such little screen time.

That evening, Mokkun continues to rant to Masahiro when Akiko enters.

Akiko: Masahiro, I’ve brought you a new robe. Just for a change, it’s red.

Masahiro: Ah, thank you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have main character duties to attend to.

Akiko: You’re going out at this time of night?

Masahiro: I am Level Five, you know.

Masahiro goes out to gain EXP. The minor Pokemon drop on top of him as per usual.

Masahiro: Isn’t everyone getting tired of this joke by now?

Pokemon: We have important plot information! You can gain EXP by fighting the latest villain- an onryou, or hatred demon!

Mokkun: Where is it?

Rikugou appears.

Rikugou: Not so fast- a warm-up monster is appearing.

A snake monster is revealed.

Masahiro: Pre-emptive Strike! Inout Spells!

Masahiro’s spells have little effect.

Mokkun: Fire Ball!

The fireball strikes the snake.

Mokkun: I’ve softened him up, Masahiro- you get in the finishing blow and earn some more EXP!

Masahiro: Light Strike!

Masahiro destroys the snake monster.

Mokkun: That was surprisingly easy.

Seimei, Genbu and Tenitsu appear.

Seimei: You seem to have levelled up, Masahiro, which is just as well when you’re our only line of defence against evil. Keep up the training- I’m sure you can achieve in three days what would take others ten years.

Masahiro: What are you here for, Grandfather?

Seimei: Well, I thought leaving everything to a Level Five boy might not have been the best of ideas, but it seems that you’re doing fine.

Masahiro and Mokkun walk away.

Seimei: This monster was more evil than it looked- it tried to possess Masahiro. He’s too low level to notice, but this definitely means a new arc has begun. Rikugou, you had better stay in Masahiro’s party.

Rikugou disappears.

Seimei: Byakko, Suzaku, it’s time for you to get some screentime!

Byakko and Suzaku appear.

Seimei: There is trouble brewing- I need you two to soften up the enemy so that Masahiro can take it on later.

Elsewhere, the Onryou is busy menacing generics.

Onryou: GRRRR, I am evil! Fear the liquid weeping from my empty eye sockets!

Generics: Aagh, he’s floating past us in a menacing fashion!

Onryou: GRRRR, I will prove my evil by killing almost everyone here! Death Wave!

Everyone except a fat man in a carriage is killed. The next day, the various Onmyous at the dorm discuss the killings.

(Masahiro: Hmm, this sounds like something a main character should be involved in- but it’s related to Toshigutsu’s family. I guess I’m going to have to give him more screen time.)

Masahiro approaches Toshigutsu.

Masahiro: Hey, Toshi, if I let you have some screen time, will you give me some information about these plot-related events?

Toshigutsu: I can get screen time just by insulting you, so why should I be helpful?

Toshigutsu walks away. Later that day, Masahiro falls asleep after angsting for a while. Akiko talks to Mokkun.

Akiko: Is Masahiro okay?

Mokkun: He’s just coming to realise how tough it can be when you’re a main character- everyone is jealous of the attention he receives despite only being Level Five.

Masahiro comes outside.

Masahiro: Why should that bother me? I have more screentime than anyone, and that’s all that matters.

Later that evening, Masahiro and Mokkun go out to investigate the onryou.

Masahiro: Okay, let’s go and find this onryou! Once I become Level Six, no one will ever dare to call me a Level Five weakling again!

Indoors, Akiko and Tsuyuki are sewing. Masahiro can clearly be heard crashing around outside.

Tsuyuki: Hmm, I wonder what that can be.

Akiko: Oh, it’s probably nothing, and it’s certainly not Masahiro secretly going out to train at night.

Meanwhile, Masahiro and Mokkun reach the area where the generics were killed.

Masahiro: I can sense something- a boss fight may be imminent.

Mokkun: Let’s enter the next dungeon- Abandoned House #086.

They enter the house and encounter the Onryou.

Onyrou: I’m looking for a man! I need HARD GAY!

Mokkun: What kind of man would want HARD GAY with you? Er, I mean, who are you looking for?

Onryou: That man! You must know the one I need! Hatred and evil!

The Onryou vanished.

Masahiro: He vanished.

Mokkun: I guess we couldn’t fight a boss monster this early in the arc.

At home, Seimei is concerned.

Seimei: I sense that chaotic times may be imminent.

To be continued…