Tuesday Rumble: March 27th

Spoiler Alert: This week it’s Gankutsuou and Good Witch.

There’s something to be said for cheat saving using an emulator, and that is that it makes games a lot easier for lazy people like me. With it, the Cave of Trials in Star Ocean 2 becomes infinitely less painful, whilst in Harvest Moon hurricanes and blizzards can be avoided without having to replay an entire day.

Harvest Moon: Fusion

Can’t get enough of Harvest Moon? Ever wished that Grandpa Anton could lend some of his massive wealth to the up and coming young Anton to help him on his way? Ever wanted your Forget-Me-Not Valley Anton to be able to take a day trip to Mineral Town and see where it all began? Well, now you can, with Harvest Moon: Fusion! When the game begins, you play as the very first Anton from the SNES version of Harvest, but as time goes on, the game evolves into the later versions, unlocking new areas and more modern farming techniques. In time, you can even commission a time machine to be built for your house, which will enable you to go back and help Grandpa on his farm, or summon him to come forward and hand over that spare Corn Kai’s been bugging you for.

The Wandering Fansubber
His name is unknown, his purpose semi-pointless…he is the Wandering Fansubber. Traversing through the land of raw anime and manga, he will suddenly pick up something that is to his taste and translate it, completely out of order with what has been done so far. From later chapters of Mushishi to recent episodes of Gintama, he will tackle them all- but no one knows where he comes from or why he does it. His glimpses into the future of such series are interesting, but just as he whets the appetite, he vanishes into the mists, leaving others to catch up and fill in the gaps.

GetBackers Pick ‘N’ Mix Part Two

“Looks like Shidou has been ensnared by a woman.”

“He won’t be able to get much HARD GAY from now on.”

“I’m going to have STRAIGHT?”

“Yep, that’s right.”

“Well, I guess there’s no choice.”

“That Liang is so Zhuge!”

“Weren’t you guys having MONKEY?”

Back to the nurses, and both Ban and Shidou are having some rough HARD GAY at their hands.

“We need more HARD GAY!”

“With cross-dressers like these, the quality of the HARD GAY is payment in itself.”

One nurse isn’t as good at disguising himself or his intentions as the others are.

Short parody: Good Witch revisited

Firiel: I love you, Roux!

Roux: You are useless, Firiel. Now get out so that I can have HARD GAY with someone.

Firiel: But I’m the main character, and destined to be queen some day!

Adale: Actually, you’re fairly irrelevant in this whole succession thing- it’s between Leandra and me. When I win, I hope to write many books and sit here doing nothing.

Leandra: No, I must win! With my beautiful dress and love of HARD YURI, I’m a shoe-in.

Riez: Gwakaka, I am evil, for I shall clutch a book and turn green! Oh wait, that never actually happens. Well, never mind, for I am evil!

Firiel: You know, you might want to rethink your position.

Riez: Oh no, I have been defeated!

The party proceeds to the tower.

King: Fear me, for I am the king!

Roux: This country has a king?

King: Well, I, er, don’t get out much. I should also mention that I am such a low-profile king that I even lead a secret organisation that opposes the crown.

Roux: Look, a frog!

Roux throws a frog at the king.

King: Oh no, a frog! I am defeated!

Everyone moves ahead to meet the queen.

Firiel: Wow, there’s actually a queen. I wondered who was ruling the country.

Queen: This country has gone to ruin because it needs a strong ruler, but I’m only the queen, so what can I do?

Firiel: It’s not too late! You can still make a difference.

Queen: Oh, so I can. Thank you, young Firiel, for you have shown me the light.

Earthquakes etc begin outside as the Mahiru Star starts causing the end of the world. Bard appears.

Bard: I know it’s the end of the series, but please give humanity another chance!

The end of the world is immediately averted.

Monthly Awards

Anime of the Month: Without any ‘instant classics’ to call upon this month, the award falls to Akagi, a surprisingly enjoyable series that finally made it out of the backlog and onto the watched list.

Manga of the Month: The award must be shared this month, between Hikaru no Go, which proves equally addictive on reread, and X/1999, which is finally on catch-up.

Fruit Spotted!: Apples show up in Ceres and Busou Renkin, whilst Argento Soma continues the trend of being a front line advertisement for fruit (back in those days product placement was healthier).

Mushroom Spotted: A poisonous mushroom is seen in Iroha- could it be the sort that Sunrise use for their special trips?

Special- Autumn Season Awards

With most Autumn 2006 series now having finished or being on the verge of conclusion, the time has come to hand out a few awards.

• The “No More Crotch Shots” Award for Most Manservice goes to Busou Renkin. It could have won the award by virtue of Papillon’s mankini alone, but it also chose to let the other male protagonists in on the act with their size comparisons and urinal scenes.
• The “Is It Over Yet?” Award for Most Boring Series goes to Red Garden, although arguably other series were more boring as they were dropped long ago.
• The “7.5/10” Award for Series that Didn’t Quite Make Pick of the Year goes to Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto for starting out incomprehensible, evolving into absorbingly atmospheric, and then declining in its latter half.
• The “What Happens Next” Award for Most Painfully Predictable Series would go to Les Miserables if it was eligible, but instead is handed to La Corda d’Oro, which I once liked but soon came to change my mind about.
• The “Everyone Else Liked it but I didn’t” Award for Most Hyped Series is shared between Death Note and Kanon.
• The “What is that?” Award for a Practically Unheard of series goes to Shounen Onmyouji, although it has gained a little recognition after being licensed.

HARD GAY corner: Gankutsuou
Edmond Dantes once enjoyed a life of BI with his friend Mondego and fiancé Mercedes, but when Mondego became jealous of the size of Edmond’s Zhuge Liang, he teamed up with two other small men, Villefort and Danglars, to have Edmond imprisoned.

Years later, and Mondego (now Morcerf) and his cohorts have become successful men of STRAIGHT, their HARD GAY past now put behind them. Nonetheless, HARD GAY remains popular with the younger generation, with even Morcerf’s son Albert sharing a ‘special bond’ with his best friend Franz d’Epinay. As per custom, both have fiancées in attempt to disguise their HARD GAY leanings, but their inner circle of friends is well aware of the truth.

Meanwhile, in prison, Dantes has learned the secrets of advanced HARD GAY from a being known as Gankutsuou, and in time he escapes, intent on revenge. Returning to Paris as the unrecognisable Count of Monte Cristo, he soon strikes up a friendship with Albert, wowing the young man with his incredible HARD GAY. Even as Albert falls for the Count, however, he has no idea that Dantes is less focused on him than he is on exposing the HARD GAY that festers beneath the STRAIGHT façade of Parisian society…

OST Spotlight : Xenosaga I
Marking a change from Yasunori Mitsuda’s usual heavily Celtic themes, Xenosaga retains the essence of his style whilst producing something more grandiose and sweeping- worthy of the space epic that this first game promised to us. Admittedly, the first couple of times I listened to this I did not it find it particularly worthy, but over time it has begun to grow on me, capturing as it does a range of emotions from quiet reflection and the eeriness of the unknown to intense clashes against the majestic backdrop of space.

Notable tracks: Prologue, Battle, Rising Emotions, Battling KOS-MOS, Life or Death, Breaking Spaceship Pursuit, Durandal, Invasion Inside and Enemy Ship, Warmth, Insecurity, Beach of Nothingness, Panic, Omega, Last Battle

Mini-rant: How can you have an objective review?
Well, I was initially going to write about that whole KeyAni drama that flared up last week, but after a moment’s thought I realised that a) this post sums my thoughts up nicely and b) I don’t really give a damn about a flame war that effectively revolves around three KyoAni series I don’t like much anyway.

Anyway, to get back on track, this week I discuss another pet peeve of reviewing- namely, the idea that some people seem to have that reviews should be objective. This is an idea I’ve seen a few reviewers discuss on forums or elsewhere, but what exactly does it mean? I can understand a reviewer perhaps not wanting their dislike of a particular genre from stopping them giving an individual series a fair chance, but even so, an ‘objective review’ is a particularly paradoxical idea- after all, a review, is in essence an opinion, and provided you can justify that opinion, surely that is all that is needed? Why attempt to write from a viewpoint other than the only one you can reliably depend on to know accurately?

That is all I really wanted to say this time around, but next week I promise to stop ranting about reviewers for long enough to talk about something else.

Harem of the Week: Akito Tenkawa (Martian Successor Nadesico)
He just wanted to be a cook, but he reckoned without the circumstances that would not only make him an Aestivalis pilot, but ensure that numerous women would be after him.

Harem

Yurika Misumaru: Captain of the Nadesico, and a childhood friend of Akito, she is the lead girl in the harem.

Megumi Reinard: The other woman, Megumi may seem quiet and sweet, but she pursues Akito with incredible ferocity, continually butting heads with the captain.

Ryoko Subaru: The tsundere, Ryoko acts like a tomboy most of the time, but her feelings for Akito grow more apparent as time goes on.

Haruka Minato (manga only): In the manga, Haruka becomes Akito’s girlfriend after he is blinded, although she is not always impressed with his attitude.

Kaguya Onkirimaru (manga only): In the manga, she is the other woman in a Yurika-Kaguya-Akito love triangle, having grown up with the pair of them on Mars and competed for Akito’s affections.

Inez Fressange: She has a soft spot for Akito due to a shared event in their past.

Ruri Hoshino: The genius loli, she only seems able to act more human around Akito, although he is more of a big brother than a love interest.

Rivals

Jun Aoi: Remains steadfastly in love with Yurika despite the fact that she thinks of him only as a friend.

Akatsuki Nagare: Annoyed at Akito’s success with the ladies, he constantly threatens to start dating Yurika.

Fashion police: Ueki

The spokesperson for all male characters with boring uniforms, Ueki takes things to a new level of dull with his standard white shirt and black trousers- there’s not even a hint of originality in his footwear or undershirt. Even his hair is the trademark shounen short and spiky, although at least it is green, which makes a change.

Fashion sense: N/A- it’s too dull to even grade.

Amusing Search Terms

Old favourites: lolicon (50+ searches per day), you toube, Bouncing Breasts, audition hack, large boobs, you toube sex

rpg maker making flame: Here’s how to do it- work on RPG Maker for long enough to become so annoyed and frustrated that you want to set fire to things.

Harvest Moon how do I make noodles: Actually this is a perfect valid thing to want to know, but it just amused me.

anime hair: I don’t know if they still sell it, but there was a “manga hair gel” on the market a couple of years back. Style your hair like Yugi Mutou from Yu-Gi-Oh!

anime + blog + “her control”: Yes, this blog is under my control.

mai-hime 4 tentacle: Four tentacles? Some people are just greedy.

rmxp yugioh resources: Try ripping the sprites from the GBA game.

Fate Stay Night threesome: Last week I wondered if the searcher wanted Rin or Saber, but I guess the answer was both.

“busou renkin hentai”: There’s really no hope for people who want to see Papillon’s Zhuge Liang.

Release Mai Otome zwei episode 3: It’s not up to me.

chevalier, etiquette: The first rule of being a chevalier is to always have HARD GAY with your comrades.

code geass keroro: Interesting crossover idea.

Maria-sama ga miteru summer: Wouldn’t it be great if this was the sequel to MariMite Spring?

otome complex: “Help me, I’m in love with Shizuru!”

haseo has a harem: I prefer to think of them more as casual lovers.

the moon diary from 2 march 2007: Moon~

manga smile: Smile for the cameras.

romance of 3 kingdom sprite: What am I, Spriteland?

DBZ 2007 episodes: None.

reika mode: Entering Reika Mode- bad luck on.

masahiro means: Main character of Shounen Onmyouji

Wool from hack: You can now hack into people’s wardrobes and steal their woollen garments. Beware, owners of knitted jumpers.

what did the moon look like on March 23r: Look, I’m not a phases of the moon blog, although on second thought that would be an easy blog to run.

buy order moe kare: Not here, but feel free to send me money anyway.

“RPG Maker XP” rin: Which Rin? I’m thinking Tohsaka but there are so many.

kanon mai threesome: Ah, someone else is looking for a threesome.

student character of rpgmakerxp: I am a student of RPG Maker XP.

“out of sequence”: Better get back in sequence.

stratos 4 doujin: Not again.

shounen onmyouji nudity: Mokkun is naked, I tell you! He has no clothes on!

gay anime: Take your pick.

anime i’ll go gay for you! hard gay!: Isn’t this a Dokuro-chan quote?

strangling her anime episode: It’s not nice to strangle other people’s anime episodes.