Maria-sama ga Miteru OVA 3: The evils of men part I

There aren’t many series that can offer you stalkers, cross-dressing, PANDA, bondage and mass STRAIGHT all in one episode- but maybe that’s what fifty minute episodes are for.

Meet Kanako, Yumi’s newest admirer.

“So anyway, did you hear that Yumi has a new girlfriend?”

“You should watch out, Sachiko.”

“She definitely wants HARD YURI with Yumi.”

“It’s just a platonic relationship, I swear!”

“It’s too late- Sachiko is already jealous that there’s another woman in your life.”

“I am not jealous! I know that Yumi is my loyal sex slave, and that’s all that matters!”

“It’s clear that Kanako and Touko aren’t going to be friends- both want to get Yumi into bed, after all.”

“Anyway, Yumi, are you going to have your way with her or not?”

“You know, our group does need more variety, so either you or Yoshino should bring in a new partner soon.”

“Anyway, you second years can go now- we seniors need to have a private session.”

“You know, you really have to do something about the Kanako situation- it’s the only piece of gossip we have at the moment.”

“If you aren’t going to sleep with her, you should break it off.”

“On the other hand, you shouldn’t reject her until you’re sure you don’t want her.”

“Whatever happens, don’t let her force you into bed.”

“Hello, I’m here for more screen time!”

“You are so last episode, Alice- get away from my Yumi!”

“Hey, Touko, are you free for some HARD YURI?”

“I’m trying to enjoy some Hyper Self Pleasure, thank you very much.”

“I think you’ll find it does- I am the main character, after all.”

“And when the main character asks you for HARD YURI, you shouldn’t reject her!”

“If you must know, I’m jealous of Kanako, and so I’m punishing you for it!”

“Did someone mention my name?”

“If Touko won’t give you HARD YURI, I’m willing to give you whatever sort you want.”

“I suggest one of these three methods.”

“You can have whatever sort of HARD YURI you want with me, free of charge.”

“It mocks the system if you just give me HARD YURI for free!”

“Whatever the case, I hope you’re not shy about doing it in public.”

“Forget Kanako, just have HARD YURI with me instead.”

“In fact, let’s go and use our bodies to bribe other girls into joining us for a group session.”

“Hey, you look like you could use some HARD YURI.”


“And in return for having HARD YURI with us, you have to make sure Yumi’s love life doesn’t make it into the papers.”

“But her love life is the most interesting thing in our lives at the moment! Speaking of which, have you slept with Kanako yet?”

“Yeah, like that’s ever going to happen.”

“I already spoke to Kanako, and she says that it’s better to just worship Yumi from afar than actually jump into bed with her.”

“Sorry, Yumi, but even if you ask her for HARD YURI, she doesn’t want to go all the way with you.”

“Sachiko, there’s a chance we might have to have BI, so I’ll do it in your place!”

“Foolish Yumi, I would rather sleep with someone else myself than share you.”

“You are welcome to watch me if you wish, however.”

“Since you’re willing to do it, here is the list of lovers you must service.”

“I’m impressed, Yumi- I always thought you were the submissive one, but now I see who wears the trousers in your relationship.”

“I am most certainly not here for HARD YURI with you.”

“I hope you don’t mind, but I have been taking kinky photos of you to show everyone at the school festival.”

“Don’t get mad at me, though- I’m not the only one stalking you.”

“I’ve never had a stalker before.”

“Hello, I’m here to satisfy my fangirls.”

“I hate to tell you this, but you have a stalker.”

“I bet something kinky is going down, so I’d like to watch.”

“Damn you- get away from my Yumi! And give me a proper face shot already- it’s not like the audience hasn’t figured out who I am!”

“I know it’s hard for both of us, but we must pretend to be STRAIGHT in order to see how the stalker will react.”

“I happened to watch one of the Hanadera HARD GAY sessions and as payment they told me to do this.”

“No one likes it when a graduate comes back to butt in on a school HARD GAY session.”

“They asked me to do it, so obviously they wanted my expertise.”

“I know we’re pretending to be STRAIGHT, but don’t get so close!”

“Yumi, you must not visit the boys’ school, for it will be full of men!”

“They will try to have hideous STRAIGHT with you!”

“Men are much more dangerous than lesbian stalkers!”

“If you hate men so much, why do you follow them around?”

“Don’t you dare question my twisted logic!”

“You do know it’s wrong to follow people around, right? That’s why I had my brother trail you.”

“I can’t believe you would trust your own family over someone you barely know!”

Yumi, bright and perceptive as ever.

“Lower than even amoebas!”

“I hate to break this to you, but you must have male relatives.”

“Nonsense! I was created by HARD YURI!”

“I just can’t understand anyone who wouldn’t automatically detest 50% of the population despite barely knowing most of them.”

“Yumi, you must never debase yourself by breathing the same air as those pigs.”

“I know I’m HARD YURI now, but what if I want to try BI or STRAIGHT when I’m older?”

No you’re not, you’re an anime character.

“Are you trying to admit that you aren’t HARD YURI at all?”

“Even if that is the case, you must not give up women now!”

“There are still many more girls who want to sleep with you!”

“Get away from Yumi- she’s mine.”

“And how dare you insult her by inferring that she is not attracted to women?”

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3 Responses to Maria-sama ga Miteru OVA 3: The evils of men part I

  1. Zyl says:

    Absolutely brilliant stuff! 🙂

  2. bugbug says:

    O.O you totally distorted the whole show! it’s definitely not as porno.

  3. V says:


    That bit about Sei was totally true.
    Fangirls are all over Sei.

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