Pumpkin Scissors parody 11 part I

When a reporter helps Section III place an ad in the personal section of his newspaper, Alice gets an unexpected response from a woman seeking HARD YURI. But it soon turns out that Pleasure isn’t the only thing she wants; she also has a plan to expose the small sizes of the higher-ups in the army.

Across a crowded ro-, er, graveyard, a fateful encounter occurs. Can HARD YURI be far behind?

In an attempt to attract new partners, Section III decides to post a photo in the personals section.

“They are your prospective partners.”

“No one cares about personality these days- looks are everything.”

“Damn, I was hoping my personality would make up for my unattractiveness.”

The magazine reporter uses his influence to become Hunks’ first prospective partner, and a speed dating session begins.

Of course, talking to strangers is not always easy.

When in doubt, stick with the basics.

Once common ground is reached, discussion will go more smoothly.

Oreld looks forward to the coming influx of BI.

“I hate to interrupt the speed dating, but it’s important you acquire accurate data on all our Pleasuring capabilities.”

“Trust me, I’m looking forward to it.”

“I really think that Pleasure is a great word.”

“You do?”

“Imagine a day when everyone’s frustrations have been relieved, and they can relax and enjoy regular Pleasure.”

“One day, my men and I will have given Pleasure to everyone who is desperate for it now.”

“At least we get enough Pleasure.”

“…are enough to tell us that our partners appreciate our skills.”

“That future of Pleasure and contentment is the one we work for.”

As it turns out, Dalton already has a HARD GAY partner.

“So, do you want some education in the ways of TANK?”

“Actually, I’m more interested in Gun right now.”

“I saw a soldier’s Zhuge Liang, and it was this big!”

“Was it?”

“I seem to remember you mentioning a particularly intense HARD GAY method.”

“According to you, such HARD GAY could not be attempted by mere mortals.”

“Nonetheless, today I saw it in action.”

Dalton thinks back to the afternoon’s HARD GAY session with the men of Section III.

“You managed to keep up with us- well done.”

“I hope you don’t mind my saying this, Randel, but your Liang is pretty Zhuge.”

“You know what they say- big guy, big Liang.”

“If he had an Ezo, his hands would wear it out in moments.”

“Hmm, it sounds like this man went to New Wang for an upgrade- that’s all.”

“I have to admit I only got to see it briefly…”

“…but I could tell it was a Liang that has seen much action.”

“Could it be that that man customised his Liang in order to be able to handle the intense HARD GAY technique?”

“I must know more about the specifics of this technique.”

“I can manage that, but only if you tell me about the man who is strong enough to accomplish it.”

Thanks to the newspaper, many men have already come seeking Pleasure with Randel.

“If there’s any sort of HARD GAY you’d like, just let us know.”

“We’d all be able to have great Pleasure whenever we wanted!”

“I think my Liang looks best in this picture.”

“Sorry, but your Liang is too small to be seen at this resolution.”

“I’m sure it will be enough to attract some lovers.”

“…have already asked me out!”

“On the grand scale of things, even my Liang is only small.”

“…but it contributes a lot to giving people relief from their frustrations.”

“Are you up for some STRAIGHT tonight?”

“You know the rules- no money, no STRAIGHT.”

“Can’t I just have one session on credit?”

“No way- you’ve had enough on credit already.”

“I can’t keep giving myself away for free.”

“Anyway, ever since I met Alice, I’ve been thinking of turning HARD YURI.”

“…if I get close to her, I’ll be able to snag some more screen time.”

Schultz is just as desperate for screen time- and he plans to get it through STRAIGHT.

“I must have STRAIGHT with you!”

“…I’m just not interested in STRAIGHT with you.”

“That’s right- I can see you read the character page on the series website.”

“Let’s not beat about the bush- what I want is a day of HARD YURI with you!”

“You’re supposed to get your Gun out after I say yes!”

“Why are you going off with another woman?”

“As you know, it is my unit’s duty to give Pleasure to the masses.”

“This is Zhuge!”

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2 Responses to Pumpkin Scissors parody 11 part I

  1. Karry says:

    Eeeh, you still havent cured your stupidity, i see ?
    Or you just have too much time on your hands ?
    Anyway, that is no reason for making these useless articles.

  2. Karura says:

    Glad to see you’re still reading and enjoying my blog. It’s sad that you have enough time on your hands to read a blog you so clearly hate, though, but I guess there’s no cure for that kind of stupidity.

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