Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto parody episode 3

Zagashira talks to Kakunojo.

Zagashira: You know, now that we’ve got our revenge and all, there’s really no need for us to keep doing this.

Kakunojo: But we can’t be written out after just two episodes! We need to find new plot reasons to appear onscreen.

Meanwhile, Shiranui is paying a visit to the red light district.

(Shiranui: Since there’s still no sign that Akidzuki wants HARD GAY with me, I’ll just have to drown my sorrows in BI.)

Meanwhile, Akidzuki visits Master Shouten, whose assistant, Shinza, immediately gives him Wooden Sword. A swift HARD GAY encounter ensues.

Shinza: Your HARD GAY has certainly improved, Akidzuki, although it still isn’t a match for mine.

Shouten: Ah, what it is to be young! I only wish I could join in such HARD GAY, but I’m afraid at my age I have to stick to more sedate techniques- therefore, I’ll have to ask you to come inside for our encounter, Youjiro.

Everyone goes indoors.

Shouten: Ah, that was good HARD GAY, Akidzuki, but I’m afraid we must turn to plot matters. Since I am too important to do it, exposition will be Shinza’s job.

Shinza: Well, Akidzuki did cut the Lord’s Head in half, but its HARD GAY spirit still lives.

Shouten: As I thought- we couldn’t have the series ending too soon. Ah well, it seems Akidzuki’s skills are not yet refined enough to match the Pleasuring power of the Lord’s Head.

Shinza: Well, he is the main character- I’m sure he’ll figure something out by episode 26.

After his BI session, Shiranui spots Soutetsu leaving the brothel.

(Shiranui: So it’s true- he is a master of BI.)

Back at their HQ, the troupe practises their new play- a dramatisation of how Hario killed Kakunojo’s parents and the ensuing events.

Kakunojo: Sensei, is this really our new play?

Soutetsu: Well, since I’m writing the script for this series, I figured I may as well re-use my ideas as plays- that way I don’t have to strain my imagination.

Kakunojo: But isn’t this storyline over with?

Soutetsu: As someone of my unsurpassed genius well knows, that was just an introduction to a greater arc. I’m sure Akidzuki realises it too, since he is the main character and a man worthy of my bed.

As the troupe distributes flyers of their new play, some of them conveniently blow over to Nakaiya’s ship.

Nakaiya: Gwakaka, it looks like the time has come for my villainy to begin in earnest! I must put a stop to this play!

Nakaiya’s sniper, Saiga, practises with a new Gun.

Saiga: This gun is good for HARD GAY, but it tends to drift to the left. My partner won’t like it if I’m not on target.

Glover: As a representative of New Wang, I can easily get that fixed.

Meanwhile, Katsu Kaishu visits the red light district.

Katsu: Ryouma, you died too soon, forcing me to abandon HARD GAY and turn to women.

Katsu talks with tayu Kotoha for a while, until English representative Parkes and bodyguard Kanna arrive.

Katsu: Oh good, men- sorry, Tayu, but I’ve always preferred HARD GAY.

Kotoha: I understand- it can be hard to turn to BI.

Kotoha leaves.

Katsu: Good to see you again, Parkes, but who is this man?

Parkes: A bodyguard.

Katsu: Ah, I see- he’s your young lover.

Parkes: Actually, I brought him here to be your lover.

Kanna opens his coat to reveal his ‘pistol’.

(Katsu: Hmm, I must say I like the look of him.)

That evening, everyone is enjoying a procession when Kanna spots a sniper.

Kanna: Get down! Another man is trying to give you Gun!

Saiga is actually trying to give Gun to Kakunojo, but Akidzuki confronts him.

(Akidzuki: If you’re that desperate for Pleasure, at least have it with a man!)

Kakunojo: We mustn’t pass up this opportunity for screen time! Let’s join in!

Saiga tries to run away from Akidzuki, but he is cornered by Kakunojo and the others.

To be continued…

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2 Responses to Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto parody episode 3

  1. Kaku says:

    I dont really want to be a “flamer”as they call it but…whats with the whole turning the characters gay thing nowadays with these? x_x…..I find it totally ruins stuff…just isnt funny once the making everyone gay thing comes in. *and scars the mind of seeing the shows the same ever again*

    …I just wanted to get that out to someone…it really does bug me (and others)*cowars like puppy* dont hurt me o.O

  2. Karura says:

    I won’t hurt you, it’s just a matter of personal taste. I don’t seriously think they’re gay, it just that this reinterpretation amuses me. If my sense of humour isn’t the same as yours, then fair enough- we can’t all be the same.

    On a similar point, I have to admit that I found it annoying in the Simpsons when they started turning more and more characters secretly gay…it was funny when it was just Smithers, but then they took it too far. Not that I watch the show anymore, just thought I’d mention that.

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