Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto parody episode 16

Whilst Kakunojo collapses from her first Sword experience, elsewhere generic armies are having Gun and Sword. Historical figure Hijikata arrives.

Hijikata: Friend or enemy- I will cut down anyone who does not give me good HARD GAY!

After returning to base on HORSE, Hijikata sizes up some junior squad members.

Hijikata: You! How old are you, and have you got any HARD GAY experience?

Boy: I’m sixteen, sir, and ready to service you.

(Hijikata: Hmm, none of these boys look as capable as my HORSE.)

Hijikata rides away.

In a small room, Akidzuki watches over the sleeping Kakunojo.

(Akidzuki: She’d better not be putting this on just so that I don’t leave her behind. Still, I never knew women could give Sword.)

Kakunojo wakes up.

Akidzuki: Hmm, you seem to be fine. Well then, I’m off to find the Lord’s Head- farewell.

Kakunojo: Not so fast! I have a Sword now, and I refuse to be written out of the plot so easily.

Akidzuki continues on his way, with Kakunojo following. As they reach a lake, they see some generics trying to give Sword to Gotou, one of the boys from earlier.

(Akidzuki: Proper HARD GAY! I must join in!)

Whilst Akidzuki gives the generics a taste of his Sword, Kakunojo and Gotou run away- only to be chased by some more generics.

Man: Prepare to take my Sword, woman!

Kakunojo: I may be female, but I’ve recently learned how to give Sword!

Kakunojo gives Sword to the generics, before realising what she has done.

Kakunojo: What’s happening to me? My desires just took over!

Hijikata appears.

Hijikata: I thought I sensed a disturbance in the HARD GAY force; time to get my Sword out.

Hijikata joins in with the Sword until the session is concluded.

(Akidzuki: Could he be my destined HARD GAY partner? If so, I must play it cool and not scare him off.)

Hijikata: Akidzuki.

Akidzuki: Hijikata.

Hijikata turns to Gotou and hands him his Sword.

Hijikata: Boy, I can see you have yet to master even the basics of HARD GAY. You must never let go of your Sword.

Gotou: Yes sir!

Kakunojo: You know, there are four slots in our party- why don’t the two of you fill them up?

(Kakunojo: Normally I wouldn’t risk having another HARD GAY man so close to Akidzuki, but I need to learn more about Swords.)

The party continues onwards, with Gotou continually admiring Hijikata’s Sword.

(Gotou: What a mighty blade- if only he would personally demonstrate it for me.)

That evening, both Gotou and Akidzuki wait up around the campfire, hoping for HARD GAY.

Hijikata: I think it’s about time we all got some rest- goodnight.

(Hijikata: It’s not that I don’t want HARD GAY, but with a woman present it might turn into hideous BI.)

(Akidzuki: Damn, looks like no HARD GAY for me tonight.)

The next day, the party reaches the village of Yonezawa, currently occupied by generic soldiers.

Gotou: This is it- I can go and gain EXP whilst having as much Sword as I want!

Gotou runs off.

Kakunojo: Wait! You’re only Level One, and you don’t even have any healing items!

Akidzuki: Hijikata, let’s stop beating about the bush- I want HARD GAY with you.

Hijikata: Not BI?

AKidzuki: I hate BI.

Hijikata: Why didn’t you say so earlier?

Whilst Gotou skulks through the streets, Akidzuki and Hijikata distract the soldiers by having public Sword.

Generics: Let us join in too!

Akidzuki: This is far too high level HARD GAY for you- you would only get hurt, or even lose your Liangs.

The two men commence their HARD GAY.

Hijikata: You perform well, Akidzuki.

Akidzuki: As do you.

Elsewhere, Gotou has to make do with DOOR, but he just can’t seem to get it to respond. Finally, he is let into his sister’s house.

Sister: What are you doing here? As a HARD GAY warrior, you should not visit women.

Gotou: I just wanted to see you one last time, but now I feel ready to fully step into the world of HARD GAY.

Hijikata and Akidzuki conclude their HARD GAY and leave town on a conveniently placed boat. They meet up with Kakunojo and Gotou.

Gotou: This diversion was largely pointless and a waste of time that could be used to further the plot, but now I long for group HARD GAY with my squad mates.

Kakunojo: Don’t go! Stay with us and learn BI.

Hijikata: Or better still, come with me and give me regular HARD GAY. Your skill level may be low now, but I can soon whip you into shape.

Gotou: I’d love to, but according to my contract I’m a one shot character, so I have to go now.

Gotou leaves.

Narrator: In case anyone actually cares, Gotou’s squad was massacred and he may or may not have been killed.

Akidzuki, Hijikata and Kakunojo continue on their way. The two men grip their Swords and contemplate the HARD GAY ahead.

To be continued…

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