Pumpkin Scissors parody 13 part I

When a foreign princess arrives in the country in search of local BI, Machs finds himself escorting her- but can a man who prefers HARD GAY really hope to satisfy the needs of a woman?


A New Wang outlet is sighted.


Just the way some people like it.


“Do you have to echo everything I say?”

“It’s for the audience’s benefit- they just came in.”


“Sounds like a plot related event to me.”


“She must be here to sample the local BI.”


“She’s not the sort of person to sleep around!”


“Do you have convenient back story with her?”


“Of course- it’s a narrative necessity.”


“So, anyway, why is she here?”


“What? Oh, sorry, I was just drinking this coffee to make sure I don’t fall asleep during any boring scenes.”


“Did I say gratitude? I meant to say that she’s here for gratification- or in other words, she wants to sample the local BI.”


“Royals are always looking to come over and sample our native BI.”


“Right, we’re here- let’s sample the local BI!”


“I thought I was your designated partner!”


“But I already did it with you when we set out!”


“Then again when we left the country…”


“…and at suppertime…”


“…and even once this morning! How much more do you want?”


“I will give you BI over and over until your technique is perfect!”


“You may think I am undesirable, but my BI tutoring is what you need if you are to succeed the throne.”


“Damn, we’ve talked so long that I’ve missed my chance to have local sausage!”


“Did you just say what I thought you said?”


“Sorry, but I can’t seem to find that HARD GAY stand you wanted to visit.”


“Damn, I really liked the HARD GAY they gave there.”


“There just don’t seem to be many HARD GAY stores around these days.”


“I bet those guys are all having HARD GAY with each other and not letting us in on it.”


“Well, if we can’t get any, I hope Randel is just as unlucky in love as we are.”


“Actually, it’s impossible for him to have any kind of Pleasure today.”


“He’s over at New Wang right now, having it remodelled.”


“Time to see how the Liang’s doing.”


“Wait a minute…where is it?”


“My Zhuge Liang is gone!”


“I have it stored in here.”


“You what? NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!”


“Oreld, what are you doing? I thought this was a HARD GAY session, not a BI one?”


“But you know, I just fancied some BI, so I randomly picked her up.”


“I’d like to make a witty retort, but someone forgot to draw me properly.”


“All HARD GAY and no BI makes Machs a dull boy!”


“Wait- don’t leave me!”


“How dare he organise BI and leave me without a partner?”


“I can’t help it; I just feel more comfortable around men.”


“Why did a woman have to show up just when I was sneakily having Hyper Self Pleasure?”


“Since you seem to have commenced Hyper Self Pleasure, you may as well continue.”


“Your Liang doesn’t look worthy enough to Pleasure me anyway.”


“…for being brave enough to get out such a small Liang in public.”


“Why is this happening to me?”


“Hmm, I suppose I could let you have a taste of the royal Pleasure after all- it could be an interesting diversion.”


“Hey, don’t turn away- I offered you Pleasure!”


“I will service you directly, your Majesty.”


“On second thought, wouldn’t it be better if you went home instead of having Pleasure with a complete stranger?”


“What if you miss a scheduled BI session with your butler?”


“He’ll have to make do with Hyper Self Pleasure.”


“I just don’t feel comfortable giving you ‘sausage’.”


“Sausage, you say?”


“The reason I came here was to sample the local BI, as glimpsed from my carriage window!”


“I used to buy HARD GAY from the place you saw.”


“…but they moved, and so today I couldn’t buy any.”


“I guess you’re trying to hint that you’re more into HARD GAY than BI.”


“I don’t even know where you would find BI- Oreld handles that kind of thing.”


“Soldiers always prioritise HARD GAY.”


“The people who register for BI with us like their names to be kept strictly confidential.”


“He’s also a named character, and so surely vastly more important than a generic like you.”


“I recognise you from the character page on the official website!”


“Thanks for having HARD GAY with me the other day.”


“Why would a HARD GAY soldier be asking for BI?”


“I’m sure it’s plot related.”


“…you should be familiar with BI as well as HARD GAY, shouldn’t you?”


“HARD GAY and BI are different, you know.”


“You should become familiar with BI and use it to manipulate people.”


“You’re too young to be so cynical- or even to be having Pleasure, for that matter.”


“It’s time for some back story.”


“Yes, as designed by Montague of Romeo X Juliet.”


“At home, the royal children are isolated, with only Hyper Self Pleasure to occupy them.”


“…followed by an orgy.”


“That’s the way it is in group sessions.”


“Sorry, the writers asked me to say all that to kill time.”


“Anyway, on with the story.”


“As a store owner, he must sell BI.”


“Knocking” on someone’s “door” is clearly slang for having BI.


“When I want BI, I get it!”


“She knows I prefer HARD GAY, so she’s looking for a different partner for BI.”


“They’re both females who like BI…practically indistinguishable, in fact.”