Pumpkin Scissors parody 14 part I

When Section III tries to help a group of sewer-dwelling refugees set up new lives on the surface, they unsurprisingly run into difficulties. Not only is the underground world one of seedy BI, but someone down there has started distributing Viagra- just who is it who is not up to giving Pleasure on their own strength?

Pumpkin Scissors, sponsored by the Shakespeare Appreciation Society.

“Why did I get so carried away with Hyper Self Pleasure?”

“Get your hand away from your Liang!”

“Haven’t you learned your lesson about Hyper Self Pleasure?”

“It’s no good- I can’t bear the thought of life without Hyper Self Pleasure!”

“Get a grip, man!”

“New Wang will get you up and running again!”

“Hello, Huang Gai mobile recovery service, here to fix your problems- with fire!”

“Get away from us! This isn’t the kind of help we need!”

“We’ve made it our policy never to have fatal levels of Pleasure!”

“Shut up and take it like a man!”

“If that’s how you feel, take my Gun!”

“What an oversight! Who can I sue?”

Huang Gai Incorporated, bringing flaming hot Pleasure into your lives.

“Right, so who’s next?”

You can’t argue with that.

“It warms my heart to help people achieving Flaming Pleasure.”

The episode begins with the necessary exposition.

“I’m sorry, but I just can’t pay you for BI!”

“You know, as in ‘rent boy’.”

“But if you can’t pay us for BI, then at least give us an especially good session to make up for it!”

“Hmm, time for a melon inspection, I think.”

“This is just our standard way of measuring cup size.”

“And that’s my opinion as a BI expert.”

“Are you here for HARD GAY?”

“If you want HARD GAY, you’re welcome to it.”

“Oh wait, you wanted BI first, right? Don’t worry, I can wait.”

“When you come onto me like this, I get hard…”

“Wait- who said I even wanted HARD GAY?”

“Who are you anyway?”

“Who cares about that- you’re my type!”

“Do you come here often?”

“Hey, Oreld, stop pestering that guy for HARD GAY- we’re here on official BI business.”

“And as main characters, we can even change your lives!”

“But the army’s already giving us regular HARD GAY- what more do we need?”

“Besides, we know you main character types- you start by saving us, but then you never follow it up in the next episode.”

“We don’t want unresolved plot threads any more than you do- that’s why we’ve set up a BI farm for you to live happily ever after on.”

“We can earn our way through BI?”

“Sounds like a win-win situation to me.”

“Hey, isn’t this going to mess up our BI racket?”

“The boss isn’t going to like it if there’s no one left down here to service him.”

“It’s only the beginning of the episode- there’s plenty of time for things to go wrong.”

“They’ve become accustomed to the dank and squalid living conditions, not to mention the substandard group BI.”

“I’m not sure why, but some people don’t want to leave these dank and squalid living conditions, and their substandard group BI.”

“But they can have great BI out in the sunshine!”

“Our BI may not seem like much to you, but it’s important to us!”

“Soldiers and their outdated techniques should be put to rest!”

“Go and have your embarrassingly old-fashioned HARD GAY and BI behind closed doors!”

“What’s this? You have DOG too?”

Metz gets a firsthand taste of DOG.

“DOG is just wasted on those guys- I need some.”

“You’re into DOG!?”

“Hmm, looks like someone’s been on the Viagra, eh?”

“After insulting our BI, you’d better have a good explanation for needing Viagra!”

“Why didn’t you show up for my eleven o’clock HARD GAY appointment?”

“You know I can’t get up from behind this desk.”

“When I schedule HARD GAY, I expect my desires to be fulfilled!”

“Here, have a nice cup of coffee instead- I’m afraid we just ran out of tea.”

“So, I see your section is no stranger to using Viagra.”

“There is no shame in using Viagra to enhance one’s Pleasure.”

“How can you say that? True Pleasure is achieved without such crutches!”

“I will not allow this distribution of Viagra to continue!”

“Not everyone is up for this sort of Pleasure!”

“Call this Pleasure? This is more like pain!”

“All that boasting about how good your BI was, and now you give me this treatment?”

“How dare you criticise my BI when you force people into paying for your inferior Pleasure?”

“Without Viagra, we might not be able to give them the Pleasure they have become accustomed to.”

“I’m ready to dispense Cane to whoever wants it!”

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1 Response to Pumpkin Scissors parody 14 part I

  1. Hysterical Woman says:

    That “state-runned farm” sounds ominous.

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