Even as Cao Cao laughs evilly and plots his victory, Zhou Yu and the forces of Wu are preparing to move against him so that Huang Gai can give Wei the very first taste of Flaming Passion. Meanwhile, the godlike Zhuge Liang decides to invent some new HARD GAY techniques.
Zhou Yu weighs up the advantages of bondage.
Meanwhile, Cao Cao gloat over the sheer number of HARD GAY partners at his disposal.
“Now, let us sip wine and try to avoid our inevitable defeat by uttering villainous stock phrases!”
“Now, excuse me whilst I fantasise about the great HARD GAY Huang Gai and I are going to have together.”
Zhang Fei and Guan Ping discuss advanced tactics, such as attacking the enemy before they attack you.
“I don’t see why Zhou Yu should sleep with Cao Cao- I want a go with him!”
“That’s unfair- we should make it a threesome.”
Guan Yu feels jealous that Zhang Fei and Guan Ping have become a couple, leaving him out in the cold.
“And that means you’d better cut me in on your HARD GAY.”
“Me, Guan Ping and Cao Cao in a bed- and now you want to muscle in too!”
“Don’t worry, he’ll tire easily.”
After being rejected by Zhang Fei and Guan Ping, Guan Yu tries to broach the subject of HARD GAY with Liu Bei.
Naturally, Liu Bei only has eyes for Zhuge Liang, and rejects his advances.
“You know, if Zhao Yun has HARD GAY with Zhuge Liang, that leaves you free to have it with me.”
“Sorry, did you just say something, Guan Yu? I was too busy thinking about HARD GAY with Zhuge Liang.”
“Are they ready to give me HARD GAY yet?”
“Hmm, HARD GAY seems like too much of an effort at the moment.”
“How can HARD GAY ever be too much of an effort? My Sword and my badly drawn eyes need it!”
“I’m sorry, sir, but under the current circumstances the troops are just too unskilled to give you the HARD GAY you have become accustomed to.”
“They’ll never improve without practise- let’s test them out.”
“To satiate my appetite, I will need twenty boats’ worth of elite warriors- and tell the untrained ones not to penetrate too deeply in case they hurt me.”
“Yay, we’re under attack! Let’s randomly run around.”
“The enemy is attacking us- what to do, what to do…”
“They’re giving us Arrow!”
“Let’s retaliate with Spear!”
Spot the difference: circle five differences between these two images.
“I can feel their Pleasure from afar!”
“Man, that’s good!”
Let’s take a break to laugh at the grammar.
“Was it after catching sight of my Sword?”
“Of course, for I know everything.”
“Even curing Zhou Yu is nothing for one such as I.”
“What, you mean you’re a doctor on top of everything else?”
“I suppose you could put it that way, if you count my healing HARD GAY as a medical treatment.”
“It will involve HARD GAY.”
“Can any sort of HARD GAY satisfy my jaded palette?”
“I know of HARD GAY methods you could never imagine in your wildest dreams.”
“Really? You must tell me about them.”
“Here, I’ve drawn pictures of what you need to do.”
“My god! I never knew you could do it like that!”
“I also recommend some indigestion tablets.”
“By the way, I also have special magical powers.”
“Who cares about that- tell me when we can actually have this amazing HARD GAY!”
“Sorry, but I’m too busy being worshipped to service you myself.”
“Lu Su will take care of all your bedroom needs in my place.”
“Teach it to all the troops too! I don’t want any potential partner of mine to be ignorant of this great new technique!”
“Psst…I’ve forgotten my lines- what do I say next?”
“That’s your problem- I’m off for a group Sword and Bell session! These are the rules for any prospective participants!”
“I’ve loaded your game of Harvest Moon and fed the cows for you.”
“Did you know that Cao Cao has his eye on HARD GAY with me?”
“I’d love to ram my ‘burning boats’ into his waiting ‘dock’!”
“That HARD GAY was the worst I’ve had!”
“It’s been all night, and I still don’t feel aroused!”
When Zhuge Liang prays, shooting stars fall from the heavens.
“What is this wave of HARD GAY energy?”
“Bring Zhuge Liang to me, so that I may have HARD GAY with him directly!”
“Sorry, but we’re the average ‘stupid’ brand of guard.”
“That’s the only way to have good HARD GAY!”
“I know he really wants to sleep with me, but now isn’t the time for that.”
“Fear my pointy finger of doom!”
“In HARD GAY, which is more important- quantity, or quality?”