Romeo X Juliet parody episode 13

Generics stand motionless as Juliet is brought back to Neo Verona in custody.

(Generics: This is our only chance for screen time!)

In the shadows, Curio and Francisco watch.

Francisco: Curio, this is our chance to do something relevant to the plot. We must not mess it up.

Curio: Do you really think I would sabotage a chance for screen time?

Juliet is brought before Montague.

Montague: Ah, Juliet Capulet, supporter of grapes and foul STRAIGHT enticer. If not for you, my son would have been happy to provide me with HARD GAY forever.

Juliet: If not STRAIGHT, then Romeo would have turned to HORSE! He doesn’t want HARD GAY, and furthermore, there is nothing wrong with grapes!

Montague: I can overlook your first remark, but to openly declare your love of grapes is unforgivable! You shall pay for this with your life!

Hermione and Mercutio watch from afar.

Mercutio: If not for that girl, Romeo would surely have paid more attention to us and given us more screen time.

Romeo goes to see his father.

Montague: Son, I must tell you something- that woman may have enticed you to try STRAIGHT, but it was all a trick! STRAIGHT is a force for evil, and much less noble than HARD GAY.

Romeo: No, Father! I prefer STRAIGHT!

Montague: Silence! STRAIGHT is worthless ! After I kill that girl, a night with me will knock these foolish notions out of your head.

Hermione goes to visit Juliet.

Hermione: Juliet, I know you think you’ve won by stealing Romeo’s heart, but I’m here to declare an official catfight! We must fight over his heart!

Juliet: Give it up, Hermione; it’s my name that’s in the title- you aren’t even in the original play!

Hermione: Haven’t you seen the liberties Gonzo are taking with the storyline? It’s fully possible that I’ll end up with Romeo by the final episode!

Antonio is in town when notices of Juliet’s execution are posted.

(Antonio: Why did Juliet run off with a Montague? She had me!)

Later, Francisco and the others plan Juliet’s rescue.

Francisco: I bought this poorly drawn one-storey map from a key NPC for 2000 gil. It will show us where to go.

Benvolio: We should enter from the racecourse, and proceed to the point marked X.

Francisco: Let’s make this a flying mission; that way we’ll look more skilled.

Curio: Antonio, prepare our previously unmentioned HORSES.

Mission start!

Francisco equips Bow, Curio equips Axe and Antonio.

Turn 1: Francisco uses Double Arrow on Generic Soldiers A and B! Soldiers downed!

Turn 2: Curio unequips HORSE and attacks Generic Soldiers. Soldiers downed! Turn 3: Francisco attacks Generic Soldiers. Soldiers downed! Curio uses Flee and enters the next map!

Turn 4: Mercutio uses Motivate to increase the stats of the Generic Soldiers, but they are still downed by Curio’s attack!

Turn 5: Generic Bowman attacks Curio and misses! Curio uses Jump and enters the next map!

Turn 6: Curio defeats two more generics and reaches Juliet without losing any HP! Skill point earned!

Curio: At last, this is my chance for dialogue! Juliet, listen to me as I persuade you to stop languishing in this cell and let yourself be freed so that the plot can continue!

Juliet joins your party!

Turn 7: Terrain Field Effect changes to Water, and Juliet is washed away!

Juliet ends up with Escalus and Ophelia.

Ophelia: Juliet, to you I entrust the sacred duty of restoring grapes.

Montague arrives.

Montague: What is going on?

Ophelia: Do not interfere, or you will ruin the plot.

Francisco and Curio initiate battle with HORSE soldiers, whilst Juliet is teleported to a map filled with Generic Soldiers.

(Juliet: This is no good- I can’t possibly fight on my own!)

Romeo appears and uses Mega Flee to let Juliet run away.

Juliet: Romeo, come with me!

Romeo: We already tried that, and it resulted in the two most boring episodes in the series so far. Let’s go for something a little different this time.

Juliet: Oh, all right then.

Juliet boards a HORSE and escapes.

Mission complete!

To be continued…